Been Sober A Week...

[Jimmy_Pop]

By sober, I mean completely sober... no booze, no cigs, no adderral, no coke, none of my usual vices.

It wasn't my intention to be completely clean but I did make a deliberate attempt to quit smoking. The other vices just haven't come up and I've been a little bit strapped for cash.

It's funny, you know....

... Even though I'm going through nicotine withdrawal, this is obviously a better state than my usual drunken/tweaked out/cigarette smoking state.

If you went up to a typical hungover me and offered this mindset, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

It's just...

Ugh...

I've been through this so many times before. Once I get up around a MONTH or so clean, the boredom just starts eating at me and I start thinking "just one smoke, one drink, one line..."

I need to solidify in my mind the obvious truth that sobriety is LONG TERM better than addiction.

But it's so hard to deny the TEMPORARY pleasures of drugs, when you're in that bored mindset and nothing will tickle your fancy.

But I need to...

I've tried and failed to get clean so many times.

I'm 25 now, going on 26... I'm not getting any younger.

I can't keep going around these same old circles again and again, I need to make this one count...

 

[GettingClean]

I'm in your same shoes. I've got a few weeks clean now and I seriously badly want to get high. It sounds crazy but I seriously can't think about anything else today. And I've done this a couple more times than I'm willing to admit to most people and I always cave a month or two into it. Then 'only once' turns into two days in a row then a week and before I know it I'm using every day again. But I can't keep that thought out of the back my head.....just one time, it says. Your tolerance is low and it'll be cheap, and then you'll go back to being clean. And it'll be no big deal. What the hell....hopefully someone else has some advice...because I'd Love to hear it too...

 

[absolutlyamazing]

I was clean for 4 years after shooting Heroin 3 x a day for a few years. I went back to school so I was occupied and busy and at first the cravings were unbearable, but as time went on the cravings became less and less until they went away. I ended up relapsing because my BF at the time was using behind my back and I realized it and suddenly those cravings came rushing back. I just used once that week, then once the following, then it increased to twice a week, you know how it goes. I have been using here and there and had a few week long runs in the past 3 years. I have been to detox once since I relapsed and I think I would have been better off just detoxing on my own. I seriously regret that moment of weakness because things would probably be much different for me if I was still clean. I would have had 7 years clean had I just used a little willpower that day. Once is not worth the risk of relapsing. Its hard but if you really want it you can do it. Just stay positive and know that feeling like shit and PAWS does NOT last forever.