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beauty

Dtergent

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 12, 2000
Messages
7,503
Location
Where it's balmy
my mother, okay
my Mama. she looks at me and
says
"you're
not beautiful, honey"
like she was bursting
my bubble
cause he asked me out
and i was thinking
maybe he likes me.
i cried.
tears for me
not knowing whether it was true
or not,
thinking of those people
who have faces
"which only their mothers could love"
cause i didn't even have that.
i went to papa,
who doesn't say much
who always told me my dresses are too short.
and he said
"let's go for a ride."
i got in the car
and expected him to say,
"conceit hurts you"
but he turns the radio on
to fill the silences he thought would come-
the silences that were always between us-
and drives to the city.
papa started crying
like a bitch.
fullgrown man
reduced to the same tears i was feeling
rolling down my ugly cheek awhile ago.
and we drive along the dark empty road
the streetlights line the sidewalks.
"see the streetlights?"
i nod. "yes papa"
"close your eyes"
i draw my eyelids shut.
"see the streetlights?"
i shake my head in confusion. "no papa"
"but you do see them.
their faint orange glow.
you know there is something
fighting the darkness."
i nod. what is my papa
the man of little words
driving at?
"and your eyelids, honey
they are your mother.
trying to tell you
your beauty is not there"
i cried
and hugged papa.
[This message has been edited by Dtergent (edited 04 May 2000).]
 
smile.gif
that was really good
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~Mere~
-----------------------
"Now and then I like to feel good"
 
That was amazing...
On a strange level, I can relate...
My mom always told me I was beautiful, and smart, and sweet...but, whenever any guy every showed interest in me she told me it was because I came from a wealthy family....
Now, I am comfortable enough with myself and my family here that I know people like me for who I am...not what I am....
Keep writing...
 
*bump*
i've been feeling kinda low. readin this again made my ego feel better (well yup someone put me down again in a big big way). sorry but i just gotta do this...
mad luv.
 
I'll bump you up anytime! Head up, I know this will burn, but you will feel extraordinary.
wink.gif
Keep writing on, and on, and on...
 
Dtergent...
Your words are POWERFUL!!!!! I didn't read this piece before, and it send instant shivers down my spine, now that I just did.
INCREDIBLY POWERFUL. INCREDIBLY SHOCKING. INCREDIBLY PIERCING.
Sensational.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Loads of luvs,
-Amina
------------------
"Like a bird on a wire, Like a drunk in a midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free" - Leonard Cohen
 
woAh..some powerful incident..even tho hate can kill and hurt one and another, its nice to hav someone there that can help you out durin the hardest times =)
------------------
always smile =)
 
The last "stanza" was so unexpected, so powerful, and so heart warming that a tear rolled down my cheek before I even realized I was crying.
Absolutely beautiful, Dtergent. I only wish you were around to see how your words have affected those you left behind. I hope you are well, sweetheart.
:)
 
Wow this gave me serious chills! My mother used to say things like that to me and my father would say the things to make it better. Thanks for posting this :)
 
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