beautiful day

[roarkisdead]

a very rought draft, just looking on feedback on the idea
the sun is shining, hey all my friends are here,
are those flowers here for me,
atleast the tought counts for something.
everyone is so dressed up, glad i'm in my suit then.
a fourty for me, atleast they remebered that.
the grass is so green, such and odd thing to notice.
memories of twelve and playing soccer, damn that was fun,
i can never forget the smell of that field.
Brian, haven't seen you in years,
best friend in those days we were young.
i heard your becoming a cop, never thought that of you.
trouble and mischief and never got caught.
so many friends, so many ex loves.
there is my mom, dad looks so strong.
don't be sad i'm at peace now.

 

[Rollingrrl]

that's really moving and haunting. I hope I'm correct in assuming that the poet's point of view is being dead? its kinda creepy and I hope its not something you're planning on giving to anybody or acting on. But its really good and perhaps a bit of editing might help. Try and smooth the longer lines out so it flows better.