Catch-22
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2001
- Messages
- 4,519
Recently I tried to make a bathtub full of Jello for a young lady and failed horribly. Today is her birthday, so as a present to her I am going to shame myself in front of Bluelight and reveal how I gave her the lamest "sexual misadventure" of her life.
A couple months ago I took a fellow Bluelighter to see a play and we followed that up with dinner at Outback Steakhouse. Everything went well and I brought her back to my apartment. I had figured that I could tie her to my bed, quickly mix the Jello and then play around with her while it was still jelling in the bathtub.
I put way more planning than I care to admit into masterminding this caper. She and I had shared a bubble bath before, so I had a good idea of how full the bathtub should be to accommodate the two of us. I did a bunch of geeky calculations like measuring the speed of water from the faucet, the volume of the bathtub, and the water temperature from the hot and cold spigots. For all you scientific types, I actually did a nerdy ENERGY balance using stuff like 4.19 kJ/kg/C and how much heat melting ice absorbs. I even accounted for losses to the atmosphere! LOL
I was not even concerned that I had never made Jello before! I went shopping trying to find her favorite flavor. Unfortunately Wal-Mart did not have grape so I had to make do with cherry...and when I had put all the boxes of cherry into my cart, I went for raspberry...when that was gone, I got strawberry...I finally got all the way down to lime. My shopping cart was full of 177 little boxes of Jello gelatin and the total bill came to ~$50!
Since each package was 3 oz and you add 16 oz of water, that means I had a grand total of ~210 lbs of Jello (~95 kg). I hid all the Jello in the closet until I had her tied to the bed and blindfolded. Okay, this is where I started to fuck up big time: PLAN AHEAD! You people have no idea how long it takes to open 177 boxes of Jello and tear all the little packets open. Not only is it time consuming, but I got clumsy and made a mess all over my kitchen.
The entire apartment started smelling like raspberry and my fingers were stained red. Argh! I’d go into the bedroom to mess around with her but my mind was still preoccupied with the Jello in the kitchen. I shuttled back and forth, spending 20 minutes with the young lady and 40 minutes with the Jello.
I had done all these fancy calculations and measurements, but I should’ve opened the boxes of Jello and transferred the powder to ziploc bags ahead of time. And what about the ice? I had to get in my car at 2AM on a Saturday night to get 70 lbs of ice.
I finished mixing the bathtub at around 4 AM, but by then she was completely exhausted so I untied her. When she found out about the Jello she thought I had lost my mind! We cuddled in bed and she said stuff like, "It’s okay. It happens to a lot of guys." Now where have I heard that before?
Periodically I checked the bathtub to see what was happening. After two hours there was only some solidified Jello in the corners of the tub, and since the sun was coming up I admitted defeat and we went to sleep.
We woke up around noon only to find that 200+ lbs of Jello had not magically appeared. There was ~125 lbs of Jello unevenly distributed on the bottom of the bathtub with ~75 lbs of half-melted ice and red colored water on top of it. The part of the powder that "jells" the Jello together had apparently sunk to the bottom. Regardless, we climbed into the mess and it felt so damn weird being surrounded on all sides by something so squishy.
Now you understand why The Birthday Girl would not appreciate me revealing her identity! My only regret is that I got so damn preoccupied with the Jello that I did not take better advantage of her company while I had her in such a compromising position. And before anyone asks, some pictures do exist...but the leftovers were washed down the drain.
So you can see I showed her a great time—or maybe not! LOL I like her too much to shame her good name, but she has been registered here for over a year so you would probably recognize her. If you have bothered to read this far, please wish this anonymous Bluelighter a happy birthday!
A couple months ago I took a fellow Bluelighter to see a play and we followed that up with dinner at Outback Steakhouse. Everything went well and I brought her back to my apartment. I had figured that I could tie her to my bed, quickly mix the Jello and then play around with her while it was still jelling in the bathtub.
I put way more planning than I care to admit into masterminding this caper. She and I had shared a bubble bath before, so I had a good idea of how full the bathtub should be to accommodate the two of us. I did a bunch of geeky calculations like measuring the speed of water from the faucet, the volume of the bathtub, and the water temperature from the hot and cold spigots. For all you scientific types, I actually did a nerdy ENERGY balance using stuff like 4.19 kJ/kg/C and how much heat melting ice absorbs. I even accounted for losses to the atmosphere! LOL
I was not even concerned that I had never made Jello before! I went shopping trying to find her favorite flavor. Unfortunately Wal-Mart did not have grape so I had to make do with cherry...and when I had put all the boxes of cherry into my cart, I went for raspberry...when that was gone, I got strawberry...I finally got all the way down to lime. My shopping cart was full of 177 little boxes of Jello gelatin and the total bill came to ~$50!
Since each package was 3 oz and you add 16 oz of water, that means I had a grand total of ~210 lbs of Jello (~95 kg). I hid all the Jello in the closet until I had her tied to the bed and blindfolded. Okay, this is where I started to fuck up big time: PLAN AHEAD! You people have no idea how long it takes to open 177 boxes of Jello and tear all the little packets open. Not only is it time consuming, but I got clumsy and made a mess all over my kitchen.
The entire apartment started smelling like raspberry and my fingers were stained red. Argh! I’d go into the bedroom to mess around with her but my mind was still preoccupied with the Jello in the kitchen. I shuttled back and forth, spending 20 minutes with the young lady and 40 minutes with the Jello.
I had done all these fancy calculations and measurements, but I should’ve opened the boxes of Jello and transferred the powder to ziploc bags ahead of time. And what about the ice? I had to get in my car at 2AM on a Saturday night to get 70 lbs of ice.
I finished mixing the bathtub at around 4 AM, but by then she was completely exhausted so I untied her. When she found out about the Jello she thought I had lost my mind! We cuddled in bed and she said stuff like, "It’s okay. It happens to a lot of guys." Now where have I heard that before?
Periodically I checked the bathtub to see what was happening. After two hours there was only some solidified Jello in the corners of the tub, and since the sun was coming up I admitted defeat and we went to sleep.
We woke up around noon only to find that 200+ lbs of Jello had not magically appeared. There was ~125 lbs of Jello unevenly distributed on the bottom of the bathtub with ~75 lbs of half-melted ice and red colored water on top of it. The part of the powder that "jells" the Jello together had apparently sunk to the bottom. Regardless, we climbed into the mess and it felt so damn weird being surrounded on all sides by something so squishy.
Now you understand why The Birthday Girl would not appreciate me revealing her identity! My only regret is that I got so damn preoccupied with the Jello that I did not take better advantage of her company while I had her in such a compromising position. And before anyone asks, some pictures do exist...but the leftovers were washed down the drain.
So you can see I showed her a great time—or maybe not! LOL I like her too much to shame her good name, but she has been registered here for over a year so you would probably recognize her. If you have bothered to read this far, please wish this anonymous Bluelighter a happy birthday!
