It's been a tough few days.
I feel a little less awful than yesterday although I am still devastated about Paula. I guess it's started me off thinking a lot about my life and the way that I react to things. I'm starting to think that I might need to make some changes in my life in order to be happy.
I came home tonight and reached straight for my guitar. I am working on a version of "You and I" by Lady Gaga. I know it's a daft song to choose but I like it and I think my version is cute. I've also got "Someone Like You" by Adele down to a T. I've got a version of "Music When The Lights Go Out" by The Libertines but it sounds like two different cover versions and nobody ever knows the song. I belted them all out tonight and I'm sounding in pretty good voice. Which is nice. I think it's when I've been busy at work, because I talk on the phone all day, it warms up my voice?
I had a horribly late night last night. Colm and his fiancee fell out again and he was texting me into the wee small hours about it. She hit him with his mandolin. It would almost be funny if it wasn't for the fact it gave him a black eye. She's got issues and none of us can help her. She's just not willing to admit she has a problem with weed and it's affecting her relationship. I'm glad I don't smoke it much.
Don't get me wrong I do partake from time to time but it tends to make me sleepy and or horny. I end up sleeping for a day or feeling very frustrated... although in situations like the other weekend after my night on the billy with Debbie we were using it to try and sleep but we both kept freaking out and hiding under the covers. She's a good person to be around on a comedown although she was so sick it was unreal. It was good that we could be paranoid and tired together.
Garrick's been awesome lately. He's a good friend to have as well. He's just so decent. I kind of wish him and Debbie would get it together. They'd be so cute together.
Pat has been great also. He needs to find a nice girl to look out for him. I will have to see if I can think of anyone to matchmake him with. He was texting me all night last night to make sure I was ok and did a very good job of keeping me sane.
Well tomorrow I start work at 8am and finish at 12pm. YIPPEE!! I'm getting a haircut in the afternoon. I love my beehive but I can't wear my hair down in public which is starting to be a pain in the ass as I go through two cans of hairspray a month. I think I'm going to get a panel shaved out again and get a short fringe. Something cute. Why do I keep using the word cute? It's Sam's fault. She uses that word a lot.
Sam was great at work tonight. I think she finally sees why my stats are shit. I am going to try really hard to pull my socks up and make a good job at work. They have put up with so much and have been so supportive.
I got asked out on a date last night by a guy I used to know. I checked his Facebook as I'd logged in to get Tom's details so that I could find out what happened to Paula. Turns out he's engaged??? I was trying to think of an excuse not to anyway. What a dickhead. I should have facebooked his fiancee and told her. I'm not like that though. I told him not to contact me again. Who needs men anyway. They're just a stress. It would take someone pretty special to break through my barriers and I don't think I'm ready. I'm still not past my ex. STILL. I wish I could be, because he is. It's not healthy that I still have feelings. He's moved on so I should too.
I guess it proves I really did love him despite what he thinks. I wish he knew. I yearned for him these last few days especially. He'd have known how to settle me. He gave the best hugs.
Oh god. I can't bore you all with another rambling entry about him. I'm kidding myself holding onto the memory but I can't seem to let go.
I should probably get on. I've got a flat to clean and a pasta dinner to have. I got a custard slice for dessert. For some reason it makes me think of my ex. As do those pastry things with raisins in. I call them a fly graveyard. I must be mental. He would be mortified that cakes make me think of him...
I really, really hope tomorrow is an ok day. I can't take much more stress.
I would really just love one lovely day where something nice happens.
I feel a little less awful than yesterday although I am still devastated about Paula. I guess it's started me off thinking a lot about my life and the way that I react to things. I'm starting to think that I might need to make some changes in my life in order to be happy.
I came home tonight and reached straight for my guitar. I am working on a version of "You and I" by Lady Gaga. I know it's a daft song to choose but I like it and I think my version is cute. I've also got "Someone Like You" by Adele down to a T. I've got a version of "Music When The Lights Go Out" by The Libertines but it sounds like two different cover versions and nobody ever knows the song. I belted them all out tonight and I'm sounding in pretty good voice. Which is nice. I think it's when I've been busy at work, because I talk on the phone all day, it warms up my voice?
I had a horribly late night last night. Colm and his fiancee fell out again and he was texting me into the wee small hours about it. She hit him with his mandolin. It would almost be funny if it wasn't for the fact it gave him a black eye. She's got issues and none of us can help her. She's just not willing to admit she has a problem with weed and it's affecting her relationship. I'm glad I don't smoke it much.
Don't get me wrong I do partake from time to time but it tends to make me sleepy and or horny. I end up sleeping for a day or feeling very frustrated... although in situations like the other weekend after my night on the billy with Debbie we were using it to try and sleep but we both kept freaking out and hiding under the covers. She's a good person to be around on a comedown although she was so sick it was unreal. It was good that we could be paranoid and tired together.
Garrick's been awesome lately. He's a good friend to have as well. He's just so decent. I kind of wish him and Debbie would get it together. They'd be so cute together.
Pat has been great also. He needs to find a nice girl to look out for him. I will have to see if I can think of anyone to matchmake him with. He was texting me all night last night to make sure I was ok and did a very good job of keeping me sane.
Well tomorrow I start work at 8am and finish at 12pm. YIPPEE!! I'm getting a haircut in the afternoon. I love my beehive but I can't wear my hair down in public which is starting to be a pain in the ass as I go through two cans of hairspray a month. I think I'm going to get a panel shaved out again and get a short fringe. Something cute. Why do I keep using the word cute? It's Sam's fault. She uses that word a lot.
Sam was great at work tonight. I think she finally sees why my stats are shit. I am going to try really hard to pull my socks up and make a good job at work. They have put up with so much and have been so supportive.
I got asked out on a date last night by a guy I used to know. I checked his Facebook as I'd logged in to get Tom's details so that I could find out what happened to Paula. Turns out he's engaged??? I was trying to think of an excuse not to anyway. What a dickhead. I should have facebooked his fiancee and told her. I'm not like that though. I told him not to contact me again. Who needs men anyway. They're just a stress. It would take someone pretty special to break through my barriers and I don't think I'm ready. I'm still not past my ex. STILL. I wish I could be, because he is. It's not healthy that I still have feelings. He's moved on so I should too.
I guess it proves I really did love him despite what he thinks. I wish he knew. I yearned for him these last few days especially. He'd have known how to settle me. He gave the best hugs.
Oh god. I can't bore you all with another rambling entry about him. I'm kidding myself holding onto the memory but I can't seem to let go.
I should probably get on. I've got a flat to clean and a pasta dinner to have. I got a custard slice for dessert. For some reason it makes me think of my ex. As do those pastry things with raisins in. I call them a fly graveyard. I must be mental. He would be mortified that cakes make me think of him...
I really, really hope tomorrow is an ok day. I can't take much more stress.
I would really just love one lovely day where something nice happens.