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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Back into Benzos after t break. What should I take

triazulu

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 9, 2025
Messages
7
Hello, first of all I would like to say thank you to everyone here. From the bottom of my heart. I have been on this forum since I was about 15 (male) (I am 25 now) (first post) and it has really helped me learn and understand these allosteric chemicals and have a great time with them.

I have been us using benzos for about 8 years (every day for about 3-4 years lately)
Mainly from anxiety as I feel and it shows they help me tremendously with my autism and social anxiety in particular as it’s a really bad

I have recently taken about a 3 month break from them because i wanted a t break and had to focus on my hustle (selling high end clothing online) for a while.

Now. I just popped 1x 2mg clonazepam and 2x 1mg alprazolam and 2mg clonazepam right after my pickup/cop and I am feeling good, maybe a bit over my functional dosage although I just started again.

So my question is…

I have been using these two benzos mainly/mostly and What would be the best Benzo be for this? (I go to auctions, thrift normalt thrifts as well as high ends, small shops and so on but most of the work is really at home or on my phone.

I have access to these most easily (they are all tested legit and from a good source:

Diazepam
Alprazolam
Clonazepam
Bromazepam
Lorazepam
Ambien

Although I could probably get most of them even rc’s and etizolam

Thank you everyone. I love you yall and thank you for being so amazing and also being a part of something so beautiful and helping and saving sooo many like me. you all deserve the best in your life.

I really like ducks btw
 
I should say that I generally have a high tolerance especially after the years. Having 100-140+ a days (xan/clon) eras before (I do not take that high doses anymore).
 
Hey @triazulu I know you've been here a while. You probably already have a pretty basic idea of how the phenomenon of "Kindling" works in relation to sedative/hypnotic drugs. I feel like I'd be doing you a disservice though by not giving you the rundown. I saw that your thread wasn't getting responses. I'm pretty sure one reason for that is the morbidity that comes to mind for a lot of us who, like you have been through the ups and downs of sedative/hypnotic dependence. In short, once you have become addicted to and dependent upon Benzodiazepines, if you're able to take any time away from them at all, the smart move is to never look back and thank God you broke away. A lot of us know people who have been driven to literal insanity, depression and suicide due to the chronic effects of Benzodiazepine dependence and the realization that they can't stop.

We are a Harm Reduction site, not an abstinence site, don't get me wrong. If I didn't believe that psychoactive substances had a valid place in our existence as humans, I wouldn't devote my time to all of this. You can have some serious good times with drugs. However, once you've become addicted and dependent, it's pretty safe to say that the good times have ended.

I'm not sure how many times you've quit and restarted with the Benzodiazepines. If this was your first time taking moderate-large doses chronically, withdrawing and restarting, you can probably expect 7-10 days of "fun" before you're literally right back to the place you were before. That same place might have taken you months to get to previously. If you repeat the cycle again, you'll eventually settle into a cycle in which 2-3 days of Benzodiazepine usage following even months or years of abstinence will bring you back to the height of dependence and withdrawal. It is scary how exponentially fast this process gets. In addition to this, each successive withdrawal episode will become more intense. Symptoms like Tonic-Clonic Seizures, Hallucinations and the potential for death become more common each time the cycle is repeated.

If you're able to take time away, I would try to parlay that into permanent abstinence or otherwise using Benzodiazepines no more than once a week. If you are needing them or special occasions like work/social stuff, then use them for the most challenging experiences, don't use them every day.

As far as which Benzodiazepine to use, that's mostly going to be a matter of personal preference man. They are all remarkably similar in how they will effect you. That doesn't mean people don't develop soft-spots for their favorites. Still, I have never met a Xanax addict who's gonna throw a fit over being given some Klonopin.
 
thank you for such a heartfelt message. This really put me in my feelings for a moment.

I’ve been following you you for a while and want to thank you for everything that you are doing

My issues is (I feel) i cannot function or even clean, workout, eat, work and so forth without them (common as it is) I’ve had 4-6 months+ off of them and it just doesn’t seem to get any better and but life goes to a compleate halt without them

I feel as if your suggestion wihh to using them “for purposes” my job in particularly (I may even be slightly biast. Dare I say almost dillusional perhaps) as I feel I can get through the day and preform properly with them.

aforementioned I sell clothing online (and help voluntarily different places) from different sources and I am almost always doing something that is socially draining.

Therefore i would have to brainstorm a “schedule” due to the fact that i work so much (24/7 pretty much atm)

Perhaps I should slow down a bit and I am too addicted to the rush of the money and “high life” (which isn’t even that great) of it🤷🏽‍♂️

I have though of ssri’s maybe too

At least I am quite frankly honered by your response as i have learned a lot from this forum (and sorta followed you) and might not be here today if not for BL and you guys
 
Even last year I I kept myself at a dose of 6x mg alprazolam and 2x 2mg a day and have never been (maybe just felt) so functional. At least my bank statement shows so lol

And I never lost the euphoria nor my tolerance gained very much. It just sorta worked the same as I feel if they are used for a “purpose” and not just to party and mess around (as setting) it is quite the different… but maybe it’s just me

And generally the worst thing I do when on a benzo is have “unplanned-later-regretable” with women and get my feelings hurt which I believe is common and I can live with. Not a good feeling nonetheless
 
Ohh and supplements as 5-htp, chamomile and micro doses of psilocybin/psilocin

Apology for the spam
 
thank you for such a heartfelt message. This really put me in my feelings for a moment.

I’ve been following you you for a while and want to thank you for everything that you are doing

My issues is (I feel) i cannot function or even clean, workout, eat, work and so forth without them (common as it is) I’ve had 4-6 months+ off of them and it just doesn’t seem to get any better and but life goes to a compleate halt without them

I feel as if your suggestion wihh to using them “for purposes” my job in particularly (I may even be slightly biast. Dare I say almost dillusional perhaps) as I feel I can get through the day and preform properly with them.

aforementioned I sell clothing online (and help voluntarily different places) from different sources and I am almost always doing something that is socially draining.

Therefore i would have to brainstorm a “schedule” due to the fact that i work so much (24/7 pretty much atm)

Perhaps I should slow down a bit and I am too addicted to the rush of the money and “high life” (which isn’t even that great) of it🤷🏽‍♂️

I have though of ssri’s maybe too

At least I am quite frankly honered by your response as i have learned a lot from this forum (and sorta followed you) and might not be here today if not for BL and you guys
Took me a year to feel functional again from 1 mg/ day 7 year dose. Another year to start to feel normal again. My opinion is you didn't wait long enough. But it's your life your choice.
 
Yep I made a ton of money on them as well. My other buddy took speed while he was in college and was the first of our group to buy a house. We all eventually got off the stuff though. Not all use stories end in tragedy.

I just honestly wanted to stop being dependent on drugs period. I was right where you are now. Ten years in from 16 to 26. Extremely successful with the drugs , popular, reasonably functional. And I didn't even have prescriptions I just got them off the street back when you could do that.

All in all I'm glad that I did what I did when I did it. Gave me some perspective on life. As you know it's not all doom and gloom. I had some wild mood swings but overall who doesn't right. The reason I quit when I did was half legal and half personal. I never looked back either.

A funny thing happened right around the one year mark I realized all the stuff I had learned while in the game on drugs I still retained. I still knew how to work hard, I still had people skills, my confidence was shattered. But after another year of sobriety my confidence came back. Last time I used was August 8th 2016. But of course I was an opiate user as well.

And when I quit I didn't know if I was going to be successful. But I just set my mind to it and guess I'm going on 9 years. Feel fine there's not a week that goes by that I don't think about how thankful I am that I stayed the course. Hell Ivan quit smoking cigarettes about 3 years ago. It's good not to have the feeling that I need something to function.
Don't get me wrong I have good days and I have bad days still but I can count the bad days on one hand.

You know yourself better than any of us you know your priorities. There's plenty of people that get prescribed drugs and they take them without a second thought for the rest of their lives. Then later in their lives they get prescribed more narcotics to offset some of the side effects of their current prescriptions again without a second thought. It's completely up to you where you want to go from here. No judgment either way it's your life brother
 
@triazulu I hear everything that you're saying. I'm honored that you're so honored by my attention buddy, so that makes two of us.

You are describing your life in terms that make it seem like Benzodiazepines are at best, very beneficial to your life in many different ways and at worst, cause you to have sex with people you might not have wanted to have sex with. It all sounds pretty tame. I totally understand how a person can have these feelings in a situation like yours.

I'm going to be very blunt. Please know that this is not intended in any way to be a shot at your intelligence or understanding. I've met a lot of people over the years
who claimed to be "unique" when it came to how drugs affected them and their lives. I've known people who are better versions of themselves on Amphetamines, pick up artists/comedians when drunk and plenty of folks for whom Benzodiazepines are "not a big deal".

Benzodiazepines are notoriously subtle. They aren't the same as injecting Heroin or Cocaine. They actively numb your central nervous system in many ways. In extreme cases, this presents as a Benzodiazepine user being highly intoxicated yet feeling they are totally unaffected by the drug. This is a real and established effect with these drugs. This often leads folks in the honeymoon phase of their usage to feel that the drugs are really not changing them as much as they really are.

I understand this is still working for you right now. I'm not gonna disagree with that. Just know that the honeymoon phase does end. It's unlikely that you're an anomaly in the world as far as how Benzodiazepines affect you. If you continue to use them, you'll eventually fall into the hole.

Think of this as the Event Horizon of a black hole. You can get up close to one, sure, but eventually you cross a specific point in which the gravity of the black hole is just too strong for you to escape. You think you still have time to turn around. When you try to turn around though, it's often too late.

Eventually, most users are going to experience their first bout of serious withdrawal from Benzodiazepines. This is different for everyone and of course it varies by dosage and frequency. If I had to make up a number out of thin air, I would say a person using moderate doses of Benzodiazepines every day has up to a year in which they can use these drugs before experiencing their first major withdrawal episode. They might be able to go on another year in which they still feel like the drugs are working despite the fact they're actually only working half as well as they did before. Another year, perhaps a couple more episodes of severe withdrawal and you'll be entering the territory of serious addiction and dependency almost inevitably.

What I mean by this last statement is, after a few solid years of Benzodiazepine usage, you're pretty likely over that even horizon. You're relationship with Benzodiazepines will become more like your relationship with food and water; you have to have them and if you don't, all systems shut down. Once you're over this line, the compulsion and conditioning of this behavior over the course of years will make it extremely difficult to stop using.

Some people will quit after this point if they are willing to put in serious work and pain to do it. However, we all know the folks who don't quit and what life is like for them. I'm sure lots of us know Benzo users of 10, 20 or even 30 years straight. It only gets harder and harder to stop as the withdrawal gets increasingly more intense.

Chronic Benzodiazepine dependence is known to produce severe side effects like early onset dementia. In simplistic terms, people who stay on Benzodiazepines, daily and chronically, eventually lose their minds in one way or another. Their minds are either destroyed or irreparably changed.

I don't tell everyone I meet not to ever use Benzodiazepines. They obviously have a very important place in modern medicine as sedatives of choice. However, if you're addicted to them, I would be wrong not to describe my event horizon analogy. If you're addicted, the fun is over and it's time to stop using Benzodiazepines completely.
 
Hey, thank and btw I love to space anslogy

Having thought off this whole question I am now begging to question myself how kinda stupid stupid it’s been

Yes I may decide

Yes I would only gain from doing so

It’s no simpler
 
Having good relations with one’s I love is the most imortsnt thing I can do. They’re good although i need to be there more and the person they now. And fist of all for me
 
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