e1evene1even
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 11, 2006
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This experience is from December 2006 near Iquitos Peru and was my second of five experiences with ayahuasca.
Around 8pm I drank a small cup of vile liquid tasting somewhat like rum mixed with an ashtray. I had opted for a slightly lower dose than my experience the night previous as I still hadn't slept and had plenty left to integrate.
The ayahuasca creeped on slowly and I wasn't as engaged as the night before. With deep breathing exercises I was able to keep myself grounded, and besides the person beside me with countless ayahuasca experiences under his belt, who had been such a help for me the night before was having a really rough time himself. I went to the washroom to relieve myself, but mostly to get away from the madness. I looked at my watch, it was 9:45. It'll be over soon I thought.
I was quite dysphoric and listening the sound of people puking and moaning didn't help either. Some unknown jungle animal kept laughing with a sinister tone.
I had decided that I had learned everything I needed to learn during the first experience and was going to leave before the last three ceremonies. But first I had to make it through this one. I was able to concentrate and stay somewhat sane, fighting the off the visionary reality. There was to be no grand tour of the universe tonight, but the ayahuasca had a few tricks up its sleeve. Somehow the visionary reality was seamlessly overlayed onto everyday 'consensus reality' and I didn't notice this had happened. I hallucinated the whole rest of the night and lackluster ceremony, in what was probably mere minutes of objective time.
The next day the military arrived at the camp equipped with some futuristic technologies to keep us under control and we were told there was some type of major crisis in the area. If I wanted to ever get home I had to leave immediately. A special flight had been organized to get us out of the area, but I had missed it and was stuck.
Then the apocalypse decided to come early. A technological singularity happening, in my head!! The computer simulation known as the Universe was being restarted and I was only a phantasm. Ego-death would have been getting off easy, this time my 'soul' was going with it!
There was only three days left in existence and I was hot and sweaty stuck in the jungle with no power or ways to communicate with loved ones. I had the feeling they were still trying to rescue me somehow but eventually gave up. As the three days passed I found my self at the concresence of the timewave.
Technology and the fabric of reality began to change at an ever increasing rate. Asiatic androids, tv screens and confetti all started materializing and dematerializing in front of my eyes. It was all so real, but with a plasticity to it. The universe was collapsing in on itself and I had missed the boat to salvation. Even Jesus had long since hightailed it out of here. My life force was a pulsating neon green light inside me that was fading and I struggled to keep it alive but I was mentally and emotionally crushed by the weight of the experience. Our cleverness as humans had gotten the better of us and our technological capacity and potential for destruction had long outstripped our ability to use it responsibly. Divine intervention was required, not to save us but to quarantine us and destroy us to preserve the integrity of the multiverse.
The ceremony had ended (for real this time) and although the barrage of visuals was mostly over, I was still convinced of everything that occurred. I was experiencing a "true hallucination", an altering of my relationship to reality on a fundamental level. I thought to speak up and say something like "why are you people laughing, don't you know the universe is about to end!" but I decided it would be fruitless and sulked quietly contemplating how I got into this mess, stuck in a cesspool of other people's demons.
As the ayahuasca slowly continued to wear off I began to regain some hope and sanity. "Was it all an illusion? Maybe I'll sleep on it and deal with it in the morning." The next day I woke up still half convinced 'the end was neigh' but half convinced is a far cry from fully convinced. At any rate, I was starting to accept my fate and would use the last three experiences to prepare for the disintegration of my soul. At least I'll be going out with a bang, and besides I had to get myself ready for the next ceremony...
Around 8pm I drank a small cup of vile liquid tasting somewhat like rum mixed with an ashtray. I had opted for a slightly lower dose than my experience the night previous as I still hadn't slept and had plenty left to integrate.
The ayahuasca creeped on slowly and I wasn't as engaged as the night before. With deep breathing exercises I was able to keep myself grounded, and besides the person beside me with countless ayahuasca experiences under his belt, who had been such a help for me the night before was having a really rough time himself. I went to the washroom to relieve myself, but mostly to get away from the madness. I looked at my watch, it was 9:45. It'll be over soon I thought.
I was quite dysphoric and listening the sound of people puking and moaning didn't help either. Some unknown jungle animal kept laughing with a sinister tone.
I had decided that I had learned everything I needed to learn during the first experience and was going to leave before the last three ceremonies. But first I had to make it through this one. I was able to concentrate and stay somewhat sane, fighting the off the visionary reality. There was to be no grand tour of the universe tonight, but the ayahuasca had a few tricks up its sleeve. Somehow the visionary reality was seamlessly overlayed onto everyday 'consensus reality' and I didn't notice this had happened. I hallucinated the whole rest of the night and lackluster ceremony, in what was probably mere minutes of objective time.
The next day the military arrived at the camp equipped with some futuristic technologies to keep us under control and we were told there was some type of major crisis in the area. If I wanted to ever get home I had to leave immediately. A special flight had been organized to get us out of the area, but I had missed it and was stuck.
Then the apocalypse decided to come early. A technological singularity happening, in my head!! The computer simulation known as the Universe was being restarted and I was only a phantasm. Ego-death would have been getting off easy, this time my 'soul' was going with it!
There was only three days left in existence and I was hot and sweaty stuck in the jungle with no power or ways to communicate with loved ones. I had the feeling they were still trying to rescue me somehow but eventually gave up. As the three days passed I found my self at the concresence of the timewave.
Technology and the fabric of reality began to change at an ever increasing rate. Asiatic androids, tv screens and confetti all started materializing and dematerializing in front of my eyes. It was all so real, but with a plasticity to it. The universe was collapsing in on itself and I had missed the boat to salvation. Even Jesus had long since hightailed it out of here. My life force was a pulsating neon green light inside me that was fading and I struggled to keep it alive but I was mentally and emotionally crushed by the weight of the experience. Our cleverness as humans had gotten the better of us and our technological capacity and potential for destruction had long outstripped our ability to use it responsibly. Divine intervention was required, not to save us but to quarantine us and destroy us to preserve the integrity of the multiverse.
The ceremony had ended (for real this time) and although the barrage of visuals was mostly over, I was still convinced of everything that occurred. I was experiencing a "true hallucination", an altering of my relationship to reality on a fundamental level. I thought to speak up and say something like "why are you people laughing, don't you know the universe is about to end!" but I decided it would be fruitless and sulked quietly contemplating how I got into this mess, stuck in a cesspool of other people's demons.
As the ayahuasca slowly continued to wear off I began to regain some hope and sanity. "Was it all an illusion? Maybe I'll sleep on it and deal with it in the morning." The next day I woke up still half convinced 'the end was neigh' but half convinced is a far cry from fully convinced. At any rate, I was starting to accept my fate and would use the last three experiences to prepare for the disintegration of my soul. At least I'll be going out with a bang, and besides I had to get myself ready for the next ceremony...
I couldn't imagine what would have happened without it. Ayahausca is NOT something to play around with.
). Upon awakening my baby universe was no longer accessible but I felt I was given a glimpse of how things are, or can be. The ability to generate bliss stayed with me for weeks. Had I been diligent in practicing the technique I feel it could be sustained indefinitely.
