Aw Fuck - I ve put my foot in it! ....the THREAD

[swedger77]

I used to be really bad for speaking without thinking and always ended up putting my foot in it.

I recently had 2 such incidents, both at the same wedding function......


I was sitting inbetween 2 people who suffer from bi-polar. They don't know, that I know (along with other mates) that they have this condition...anyway.

It was a typical wedding function with a DJ belting out chart music. He put on Titanium by David Guetta. Without a second of a though i started belting out "Im on Lithium" to the words "I am Titanium"

I did realise after doing this several times my blunder but carried on in the hope they saw the funny side of it.......I think I got away with it.



Shortly after I was speaking to a guy at the bar I know, about one of our mates who was trying to get in about a bird with 3 kids.....I said to the guy "He should just go and try and get laid, the last thing he needs to do is end up shacked up with her and her 3 kids"

- The guy i said that to at the bar lives with a woman and her 2 kids. - im a fuckwit


Whats your best "foot in it moments"

 

[BadBesty]

I am continuously doing it, even when sober. I am really into my golf and had a big do down there a couple weeks ago where a lot of the members families come down. Stood at the bar with a group and this young blond stunner walks in, of course a few beers and sniff in i proceed to explain how i would ruin her given half a chance, just for the club captain to introduce her as is grand daughter!!! He hasnt been the same to me since!!!

 

[Sprout]

I'm bi-polar also but I'd be in stitches if my mate sang that!

 

[username13]

At work.....didnt know it but the person was a super passive agressive control freak! Kindly explained how they would no longer have admin rights to the network they used to admin. Soooo much fun ensued. They became my new best friend, well not really.

 

[BlindHelperMonkey]

im on lithium haha

 

[mydrugbuddy]

Back in the fucked up Meph days ran out and hatched a plan via text with a pal to invite an acquaintance over cos we knew he had a few g. Last text was basically… he’ll be chuffed he’s getting asked over, skud his Meph then get him to fuck. Sent the text by mistake to the guy with the Meph.

He texted back “See what happens when you take too much Meph and text the wrong person. Think I’ll give it a miss”

Suppose that’s what I get for being a cunt 8)

I've done a simillar thing with instant messaging at work. Typed a note to my mate with words to the effect of 'kate is realy pissing me off today. She's not doing any fucking work whatsover'. I didnt send it to my mate though, i sent it to 'kate' by mistake. I think being embarrassed as fuck and turning bright red helped, as she was still OK with me after that.

 

[dan88]

Back in the fucked up Meph days ran out and hatched a plan via text with a pal to invite an acquaintance over cos we knew he had a few g. Last text was basically… he’ll be chuffed he’s getting asked over, skud his Meph then get him to fuck. Sent the text by mistake to the guy with the Meph.

He texted back “See what happens when you take too much Meph and text the wrong person. Think I’ll give it a miss”

Suppose that’s what I get for being a cunt 8)

Haha!! Similar story, at work I sent an email slagging off my boss to my boss instead of my mate! That was awkward!

Edit: you beat me to it MDB

 

[mydrugbuddy]

Narh, you 'out trump' me, kate was a colleague not my boss !

 

[Septonn]

Haha!! Similar story, at work I sent an email slagging off my boss to my boss instead of my mate! That was awkward!

Edit: you beat me to it MDB

I once did the same thing to the girl I was with.. We didn't stay together for long after that lol

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

^

Similar. Had just started having an affair, phone rings.

me "Hello P****"

Her "This is S*****" (cries)

 

[Bearlove]

I've done the email thing a few times - sent the stupid email circulars to all users in certain region etc.

 

[ColtDan]

slagging off fat people to fat people. "look at the size of that fat cunt, i wonder what hes been eating" and my friend is fatter

 

[masaz]

I remember me Mum meeting an old friend outside a supermarket and, noticing the amount of food she had, going 'Gosh, you look like you're planning a funeral! Ahawhawhaw'.

Yep.

On a slightly more grim note, one of our tutors when I was at college had recently lost a baby, his wife having had a stillbirth. He came back after a few months and was teaching a class on animation and used a DVD of various examples. One was an Adult Swim thing showing a ward full of newly born babies, with an adoring crowd, until a doctor comes in and pulls a blanket over one of the babies. I'm assuming it was a DVD he'd used before and hadn't fully considered when showing us lot it. We all sat in complete, stony, painful silence apart from one guy who practically shit himself laughing.

That one is probably the most uncomfortable situation I've ever been in. Dude just said 'right, I think we'll end that there' and left while the rest of us verbally tore laughing boy a new one. Argh. I mean the guy probably forgot or whatever but oh my ouch.

 

[parttime crackhead]

Last night around 4am. Firing up a record deck in my mates flat, spending ages shifting the needle about to get it bang on the start of Thriller. Start rocking out to it. I had my back to the living room door & my mate was sitting on a couch facing it. He starts shouting my name & doing a motion with his hand over his throat as in "kill that shit" to which I replied "Fuck up man, it's Thriller!". Still doing a stupid wee dance I spun round & there was a copper standing right behind me lol. Cunt didn't look amused.

 

[badandwicked]

I do this a lot.

Most recently there was just one old bloke at the bar. I said to the other barmaid 'God some old blokes are such miserable bastards aren't they?' to which she replied 'you mean my dad?'...

Then there was the time I text my brother about my cousin 'Mel's just a fucking psycho, if she doesn't stop texting me I'm going to block her'. Only I sent it to my cousin. Oops. She stopped texting though.

 

[masaz]

Last night around 4am. Firing up a record deck in my mates flat, spending ages shifting the needle about to get it bang on the start of Thriller. Start rocking out to it. I had my back to the living room door & my mate was sitting on a couch facing it. He starts shouting my name & doing a motion with his hand over his throat as in "kill that shit" to which I replied "Fuck up man, it's Thriller!". Still doing a stupid wee dance I spun round & there was a copper standing right behind me lol. Cunt didn't look amused.

Haha god, this happened at a mate's old flat, except it was a friend of mine standing on a lad's back, playing guitar, while the coppers stood looking on. They were most interested in the big bag of greenery on the table which WAS actually herbal smoking mix, thank fuck. Everything else had gone and they just told us to keep it down and fucked off. They weren't bad 'uns to be honest, quite friendly despite us all being blatantly, blatantly smashed.

 

[Raasyvibe]

Back in the fucked up Meph days ran out and hatched a plan via text with a pal to invite an acquaintance over cos we knew he had a few g. Last text was basically… he’ll be chuffed he’s getting asked over, skud his Meph then get him to fuck. Sent the text by mistake to the guy with the Meph.

He texted back “See what happens when you take too much Meph and text the wrong person. Think I’ll give it a miss”

Suppose that’s what I get for being a cunt 8)

Haha!! Similar story, at work I sent an email slagging off my boss to my boss instead of my mate! That was awkward!

Edit: you beat me to it MDB

I once did the same thing to the girl I was with.. We didn't stay together for long after that lol

^

Similar. Had just started having an affair, phone rings.

me "Hello P****"

Her "This is S*****" (cries)

I've done the email thing a few times - sent the stupid email circulars to all users in certain region etc.

Can I join the club.

Does anyone remember the days of hacking Trojans? Sub7? You'd disguise the Trojan as an exe file, once they'd open it you could remotely control someones computer from home.

Well I did this to a mate of mine - for a laugh - spied on his MSN chat logs, looked at his hard drive [Yes, I've grown up slightly now... at the time it was funny]... then I sent a text to friends "I've got inside his computer! I've just seen him say this, and that... and his email password is *****"...."

For some reason I mistakenly sent the text to the friend who's computer I was hacking.

How could I do something as stupid as that? Maybe it's deserved karma...

 

[dan88]

Last night around 4am. Firing up a record deck in my mates flat, spending ages shifting the needle about to get it bang on the start of Thriller. Start rocking out to it. I had my back to the living room door & my mate was sitting on a couch facing it. He starts shouting my name & doing a motion with his hand over his throat as in "kill that shit" to which I replied "Fuck up man, it's Thriller!". Still doing a stupid wee dance I spun round & there was a copper standing right behind me lol. Cunt didn't look amused.

That's fucking hilarious!

 

[RLP]

I was going out with a girl whilst also shagging my ex. They knew each other. Went round to my girlfriends after pork swording the ex at hers and whilst going for a wee the ex texted "Still got shaky legs from that shag come round again after you're done there." Needless to say, the girlfriend looked at the message and wouldn't have any of it when I said the ex had texted me by mistake. I'll be honest, my face must have looked so fucking guilty because I was fucking guilty of being great.

LOOOKING BACK I GUESS I DESERVED ALL THE KARMA I GOT IN MY RELATIONSHIP WHICH BROKE MY HEART. :V

 

[knock]

I was going out with a girl whilst also shagging my ex. They knew each other. Went round to my girlfriends after pork swording the ex at hers and whilst going for a wee the ex texted "Still got shaky legs from that shag come round again after you're done there." Needless to say, the girlfriend looked at the message and wouldn't have any of it when I said the ex had texted me by mistake. I'll be honest, my face must have looked so fucking guilty because I was fucking guilty of being great.

LOOOKING BACK I GUESS I DESERVED ALL THE KARMA I GOT IN MY RELATIONSHIP WHICH BROKE MY HEART. :V

Looking back, yes, I guess you did, you stupid fucking squirrel

Our nuts turn us into silly squirrel-nutkins at times don't they? We need a system to keep this under control and monogamy doesn't seem to work very well... IME IMHO etc. What else have we got?

fuck all at the minute.