This is a story, from several months ago, when I attempted to opt-out, by taking 16-24g of caffeine anhydrous (160-240 redbull equivalent) 
I should start this report with a little bit of background on my situation. This was a low point in my life. My days typically consisted of waking up early, going to school, working my ass off to catch up on assignments, leaving school, getting home, leaving to work immediately afterwards, usually working until 9 or 10, coming home, doing homework if I had the energy, smoking a hefty amount of cannabis to drown my sorrows, sometimes followed with a couple shots of bottom shelf, plastic bottle vodka. Rinse and repeat. This was my life about 4 days a week. Working less, to focus on school and decreasing my stress, wasn’t an option. I was working to pay for my attorney fees because of an ongoing lawsuit. I had been wronged by my biological father, which was resulting in this lawsuit.
In this period, I was dealing with pretty severe depression. This begins after a particularly difficult couple of weeks. I constantly felt like I was about to lose it and flip out. My mood became unstable, fighting the feeling of depression was my number one priority at this point. I’d dealt with some more mild depression in the past, but this was much worse. I do my best to make the timeline as accurate as possible, but the alcohol and intense caffeine intoxication makes the event quite blurry. This was the day after my birthday.
9:15PM: I get home from a particularly shitty day at my fast food job. I feel absolutely exhausted, but I still have an entire report to write for school. I shower, pull out my assignment. I just stare at it, and my stressed brain simply decided to quit on me, so I gave up. Admitted to my own failure. I didn’t care about how it went regardless. I was at my wits end. I just wanted something to change, anything.
9:45PM: I discover 5 beers that I’d stashed away and forgotten about. I decided to take 500mg of L-theanine to help me relax and to potentiate the alcohol. I take one small hit of some mid grade weed to try and ease my depression. I sit down and try to relax, but whatever I’m doing, I simply can’t pay attention to, my mind is racing in a circle of negative thought loops. I try and occupy myself and distract myself from it, but nothing seems to help.
10:15PM: At this point, all 5 beers are gone. The negative thought loops continue, but I start to feel numb. I ask my girlfriend if she can talk on the phone, but I get no reply. We had been talking much less than we had before. It went from at least 4 hours a day on the phone, to long periods of time without talking. This was very upsetting to me, but I figured that she was just really busy with school. I didn’t see a break up in the near future though. My girlfriend was unaware of the extent of my depression. She was one of the few things I was happy about at the time.
10:30PM: The frustrations of life come pouring out me. I feel desperate for more relief. I take another tiny hit, the last of the cannabis I have. I try to take about 50-100mg of powdered, anhydrous caffeine to boost my spirits, as it typically does.
10:45PM: The alcohol kicks the rest of the way in, but I still feel sad, exhausted, and had an overwhelming sense of just giving up. I start to think about tomorrow’s hangover before school with dread (Little did I know it would be exponentially worse than I was expecting). I know the rest of the year will probably be the same as it has been. Working my ass off, for nothing. A settlement will be made regarding the lawsuit, which will in all likelihood, result in my filing bankruptcy and there was a strong chance that it could ruin my chances of going to college, something I had been working so hard for. Everything just seemed bleak. The alcohol makes me feel numb, the upsetting discouraging feelings still pierce through.
11:00PM: I’m eyeballing the 150 gram bag of caffeine sitting on my desk. All emotion that I may be feeling cuts away. The words that accompany my thoughts seem to go completely silent. I sit staring blankly, spacing off. Without consciously thinking about it, I grab the bag, and my 500mg scoop. I look at myself in the mirror for a solid minute, and begin dumping scoops of the white vile powder into the cup. I probably dumped around 5-8 scoops into the cup. I pour a bit of water into the cup and knock it back. The horrible taste makes me gag, but I manage to get it down without incident. I go back and do the same thing about 6 more times, over the course of 5 minutes. A total of 16-24 grams of caffeine anhydrous. (160-240 red bulls worth of caffeine)
11:10PM:
I slump down into the corner in the bathroom. I start contemplating everything about life. If it would have been worth it to just deal with it, or perhaps giving up on success, slacking off in school and being a loser at life may have been a better alternative than death. I’m stubborn though, that’s one thing I couldn’t bear to deal with. I picture my parents discovering my cold, lifeless body, or even worse, the OD becomes too much to take and I wake them, only to die a short time later.
The thought that hit me hardest, was how my girlfriend would feel about this. I felt she would question why I didn’t try to go to her for help before I did something so extreme, how sad she would feel.
11:15PM: I quickly jolt to the toilet and stick my fingers down my throat, pushing the limits of how far my jaw can open, desperate to vomit up this nasty shit. I make myself puke and taste the bitter substance coming back up. I make myself gag and puke until I am dry heaving. I quickly chug 2 glasses of water and repeat.
11:25PM: I feel a strong jittery feeling setting in. I can feel it in my chest, my hands start shaking, but I keep forcing myself to puke, I keep chugging water and forcing myself to puke.
11:30PM: I start to feel a massive rush of energy. This horrifies me. I do the only thing I can, flood my stomach, and purge it, again and again and again and again and again and again.
11:40PM: My stomach and throat are so sore from the havoc my fingers and the caffeine have been doing. I scratch the shit out of my throat to the point that the moment I try again I gag and cough, I’m unable to do it anymore.
11:45PM: The feeling begins to intensify quickly, as does my heart beat, blood pressure and panic. I do the only thing I can think to do, pace up and down my room. As more caffeine seeps into my system, I begin to pace faster and faster. The thought of seeking help never crosses my mind. I couldn’t imagine having to explain the entire situation to my loved ones. I didn’t want to see their sadness or pity.
***At this point I stop paying attention to the time, so I will use my best guess with the rest of the timeline***
12:00AM: I can feel the blood rushing through my head with every heartbeat. My heart rate redoubles, each beat sounds like the boom of a drum. The feeling in my chest becomes VERY intense. I run to the bathroom to puke more. I sit down and notice I am tapping both of my legs, but I have no control over it. I hold out my hand and the see that it is violently shaking. Through my shirt and my jacket, I can see my heart beating out of my chest.
12:15AM: I begin to feel a strong pain all through my stomach and in my heart. Taking deep breathes makes the heart pain nearly unbearable. I begin to sweat, yet I feel extremely cold and flush. I am shivering. I notice that my heart beat becomes less consistent, several fast beats, then it seems to skip a beat. The rhythm seems to be significantly off. I feel incredibly jittery. The uncomfortable feeling my chest continues to intensify to an almost unbearable level. I am grinding my teeth like crazy and ripping apart the inside of my mouth with my teeth, I have a complete emotional breakdown and believe that death is right around the corner. Everything has an overwhelming sense of bleakness to it. It seems like any potential for joy and happiness is gone from the world. All colors seemed weak and watered down, looking at anything bright was unbearable. I had a ridiculous sensitivity to light, which I have never experienced before, I start having mild hallucinations. My thoughts start to go all over the place, a thought would go through my mind, but would never seem to complete itself, I would get the jist of the thought, but the another fragmented thought would quickly take it’s place, I felt that madness was setting in. My eyes were peeled open as WIDE as they could possibly be.
12:30AM: I suppose this is what you would call the “peak” of the caffeine “trip”. The agony is indescribable. I become incredibly nauseas. I can’t seem to stop dry heaving, nothing more was coming up, and it was difficult to drink water because of how badly I’d scratched up the back of my throat, if I did manage to get something down, it wouldn’t stay down. There was no point in sitting by the toilet anymore. Nothing else was going to come up. I started to feel intense jolts, like someone was electrocuting me with a car battery, all of my muscles would quickly tense up and this would cause me to uncontrollably jolt and it resulted in me falling over several times. My ears were ringing and my vision was fading, like when you have been laying down and stand up too quickly. It came in waves, each time the ringing became loud and my vision began to fade, I felt that it would continue to intensify until I completely slipped away, but every time it would reverse itself. I felt that I needed to lay down in an attempt to ease the nausea, and to slow my horrifyingly fast heart rate. I grabbed my phone and climbed up the ladder onto the top bunk. The massive dosage made me feel a strong sense of quickly impending doom. I bolt back down the ladder and try to purge my stomach again with no luck so I go back up onto the dunk.
12:40AM: I lay down on the bed and keep feeling random muscles throughout my body quickly tense up. I feel like I am having repeated mini-seizures. Tears start to roll down my cheeks. I grab my phone and attempt to text my girlfriend and apologize for selfishly killing myself. My fingers keep spazzing out and it is very difficult to type. I can only get one message out “I feel like I’m fucking dying”. I feel an urgent need to puke set in so I sit up quickly and start to climb down the ladder, I put my feet down on the first step, and simply lose control of my body. It goes completely limp and I fall down into the small space between the bed and the wall onto the floor and smack my head onto the ground.
13:61AM: I open my eyes, I have no clue what is going on, no thoughts going through my mind, other than I was in agony. I was heavily intoxicated by the caffeine. I try to move, but am completely unable to. I feel that I can’t even breathe, I notice, that as my phone sometimes does, it started playing music out of nowhere, “Liquid Spirit (20syl) remix. I fight the feeling with all of my will, but can only move my fingers and toes. I’d felt this before. Sleep paralysis. I sat there using all of my will to get a breath of air, but I was completely unable to. Something about laying on the ground, hearing such an upbeat happy song while in complete terror felt so incredibly vindictive and torturous, like I was being drowned by a jolly psychopath. Eventually I broke free from it and began gasping for air, which leads me to dry heave. I push myself into the corner and sit there rocking back and forth. Eventually I feel that I am slipping away again and go into a seizure. Over the course of the night, I would continue to faint and wake up stuck in sleep paralysis. I have no memory of the rest of the night, I believe that I was awake for the majority of it.
6:30AM: My next solid memory is hearing my phone go off, I check and see that it’s my girlfriend. “Well aren’t you just a bundle of joy”. This just crushed my spirit. I don’t think I replied to her. Somehow, I managed to get up and get ready for school. I was still feeling HORRIBLE, but I could, to an extent, form thoughts. The rest of the school day was absolute misery. I wanted to leave so badly, I needed to leave.
During first period I left to the bathroom because I couldn’t stand to be sitting still in misery, surrounded by people. I get to the bathroom and slump into the corner and faint. I wake up 15 minutes later and rush back to class. I made it through the rest of the day without incident. I took several 10mg melatonin tablets and fall asleep.
It would take me about a week and a half to feel mostly “normal” again, the depression I felt in the following days was unfathomable and beyond crippling. The massive dose of caffeine must have caused a major chemical imbalance in my brain that would take a while to return to normal. I was very close to trying to kill myself again, in a less painful manner. The day after I told my girlfriend that I attempted to OD and was extremely sick. Her reaction, or lack of reaction, was a bad sign. I begged for a couple minutes of her time, but she was too busy to talk. 5 days after my OD attempt, I could see that she was lying about simply not having the time and I talked to her about this, only to be broken up with over text and hung up on in the following phone call.
I had memory issues for the next week, and stopped consuming caffeine for a while because the thought of it made me sick to my stomach. Thankfully, there isn’t any apparent damage. I was fully aware of this at the time, but didn’t care, but if one is to commit suicide, I would not recommend caffeine unless you want to feel unbearable pain, an extreme sense of doom, and horrible, slow death. Writing about this has been extremely difficult, but I felt I needed to do it to sort out my thoughts about the whole incident and still feel scarred from the incident. The worst experience of my life.
EDIT: I should make one thing clear, based on the feedback I've heard on some other sites. I didn't do it just because of the few reasons I discuss, there was much much more to it. I had practically no free time, even on the weekends, I was losing contact with my first serious girlfriend, and although it may seem a bit ridiculous because I am young, but I felt that I would be with her for much much longer, we talked for a MINUMUM of 4 hours a day and when we weren't doing that, we were messaging, before our relationship, I believed that I was practically unlovable, except through obligation, but that is just because I was too introverted, now I'm a social butterfly, with plenty of girl options, but ceasing to talk to her was very hard on me because I was so afraid of losing her. The few friends I had were becoming estranged because I only had time to hang out with people, every two or three weeks max, I'm having to file bankrupcy when I turn 18, which will fuck with college, I had horrible insomnia (got about 4 1/2 hours of sleep a night), a rapidly deteriorating home life, money issues, etc. I felt that I would never be happy, and that my life was going to be shit, so there was no point in working hard. Now I know that I'm going to be in for one hell of a life and feel much more optimistic.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ethanol
substancecode_alcohols
substancecode_gabaergics
substancecode_caffeine
substancecode_stimulants
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_negative
exptype_healthissues
exptype_bodyload
exptype_difficult
exptype_disaster
exptype_overdose
roacode_oral
I should start this report with a little bit of background on my situation. This was a low point in my life. My days typically consisted of waking up early, going to school, working my ass off to catch up on assignments, leaving school, getting home, leaving to work immediately afterwards, usually working until 9 or 10, coming home, doing homework if I had the energy, smoking a hefty amount of cannabis to drown my sorrows, sometimes followed with a couple shots of bottom shelf, plastic bottle vodka. Rinse and repeat. This was my life about 4 days a week. Working less, to focus on school and decreasing my stress, wasn’t an option. I was working to pay for my attorney fees because of an ongoing lawsuit. I had been wronged by my biological father, which was resulting in this lawsuit.
In this period, I was dealing with pretty severe depression. This begins after a particularly difficult couple of weeks. I constantly felt like I was about to lose it and flip out. My mood became unstable, fighting the feeling of depression was my number one priority at this point. I’d dealt with some more mild depression in the past, but this was much worse. I do my best to make the timeline as accurate as possible, but the alcohol and intense caffeine intoxication makes the event quite blurry. This was the day after my birthday.
9:15PM: I get home from a particularly shitty day at my fast food job. I feel absolutely exhausted, but I still have an entire report to write for school. I shower, pull out my assignment. I just stare at it, and my stressed brain simply decided to quit on me, so I gave up. Admitted to my own failure. I didn’t care about how it went regardless. I was at my wits end. I just wanted something to change, anything.
9:45PM: I discover 5 beers that I’d stashed away and forgotten about. I decided to take 500mg of L-theanine to help me relax and to potentiate the alcohol. I take one small hit of some mid grade weed to try and ease my depression. I sit down and try to relax, but whatever I’m doing, I simply can’t pay attention to, my mind is racing in a circle of negative thought loops. I try and occupy myself and distract myself from it, but nothing seems to help.
10:15PM: At this point, all 5 beers are gone. The negative thought loops continue, but I start to feel numb. I ask my girlfriend if she can talk on the phone, but I get no reply. We had been talking much less than we had before. It went from at least 4 hours a day on the phone, to long periods of time without talking. This was very upsetting to me, but I figured that she was just really busy with school. I didn’t see a break up in the near future though. My girlfriend was unaware of the extent of my depression. She was one of the few things I was happy about at the time.
10:30PM: The frustrations of life come pouring out me. I feel desperate for more relief. I take another tiny hit, the last of the cannabis I have. I try to take about 50-100mg of powdered, anhydrous caffeine to boost my spirits, as it typically does.
10:45PM: The alcohol kicks the rest of the way in, but I still feel sad, exhausted, and had an overwhelming sense of just giving up. I start to think about tomorrow’s hangover before school with dread (Little did I know it would be exponentially worse than I was expecting). I know the rest of the year will probably be the same as it has been. Working my ass off, for nothing. A settlement will be made regarding the lawsuit, which will in all likelihood, result in my filing bankruptcy and there was a strong chance that it could ruin my chances of going to college, something I had been working so hard for. Everything just seemed bleak. The alcohol makes me feel numb, the upsetting discouraging feelings still pierce through.
11:00PM: I’m eyeballing the 150 gram bag of caffeine sitting on my desk. All emotion that I may be feeling cuts away. The words that accompany my thoughts seem to go completely silent. I sit staring blankly, spacing off. Without consciously thinking about it, I grab the bag, and my 500mg scoop. I look at myself in the mirror for a solid minute, and begin dumping scoops of the white vile powder into the cup. I probably dumped around 5-8 scoops into the cup. I pour a bit of water into the cup and knock it back. The horrible taste makes me gag, but I manage to get it down without incident. I go back and do the same thing about 6 more times, over the course of 5 minutes. A total of 16-24 grams of caffeine anhydrous. (160-240 red bulls worth of caffeine)
11:10PM:
I slump down into the corner in the bathroom. I start contemplating everything about life. If it would have been worth it to just deal with it, or perhaps giving up on success, slacking off in school and being a loser at life may have been a better alternative than death. I’m stubborn though, that’s one thing I couldn’t bear to deal with. I picture my parents discovering my cold, lifeless body, or even worse, the OD becomes too much to take and I wake them, only to die a short time later.The thought that hit me hardest, was how my girlfriend would feel about this. I felt she would question why I didn’t try to go to her for help before I did something so extreme, how sad she would feel.
11:15PM: I quickly jolt to the toilet and stick my fingers down my throat, pushing the limits of how far my jaw can open, desperate to vomit up this nasty shit. I make myself puke and taste the bitter substance coming back up. I make myself gag and puke until I am dry heaving. I quickly chug 2 glasses of water and repeat.
11:25PM: I feel a strong jittery feeling setting in. I can feel it in my chest, my hands start shaking, but I keep forcing myself to puke, I keep chugging water and forcing myself to puke.
11:30PM: I start to feel a massive rush of energy. This horrifies me. I do the only thing I can, flood my stomach, and purge it, again and again and again and again and again and again.
11:40PM: My stomach and throat are so sore from the havoc my fingers and the caffeine have been doing. I scratch the shit out of my throat to the point that the moment I try again I gag and cough, I’m unable to do it anymore.
11:45PM: The feeling begins to intensify quickly, as does my heart beat, blood pressure and panic. I do the only thing I can think to do, pace up and down my room. As more caffeine seeps into my system, I begin to pace faster and faster. The thought of seeking help never crosses my mind. I couldn’t imagine having to explain the entire situation to my loved ones. I didn’t want to see their sadness or pity.
***At this point I stop paying attention to the time, so I will use my best guess with the rest of the timeline***
12:00AM: I can feel the blood rushing through my head with every heartbeat. My heart rate redoubles, each beat sounds like the boom of a drum. The feeling in my chest becomes VERY intense. I run to the bathroom to puke more. I sit down and notice I am tapping both of my legs, but I have no control over it. I hold out my hand and the see that it is violently shaking. Through my shirt and my jacket, I can see my heart beating out of my chest.
12:15AM: I begin to feel a strong pain all through my stomach and in my heart. Taking deep breathes makes the heart pain nearly unbearable. I begin to sweat, yet I feel extremely cold and flush. I am shivering. I notice that my heart beat becomes less consistent, several fast beats, then it seems to skip a beat. The rhythm seems to be significantly off. I feel incredibly jittery. The uncomfortable feeling my chest continues to intensify to an almost unbearable level. I am grinding my teeth like crazy and ripping apart the inside of my mouth with my teeth, I have a complete emotional breakdown and believe that death is right around the corner. Everything has an overwhelming sense of bleakness to it. It seems like any potential for joy and happiness is gone from the world. All colors seemed weak and watered down, looking at anything bright was unbearable. I had a ridiculous sensitivity to light, which I have never experienced before, I start having mild hallucinations. My thoughts start to go all over the place, a thought would go through my mind, but would never seem to complete itself, I would get the jist of the thought, but the another fragmented thought would quickly take it’s place, I felt that madness was setting in. My eyes were peeled open as WIDE as they could possibly be.
12:30AM: I suppose this is what you would call the “peak” of the caffeine “trip”. The agony is indescribable. I become incredibly nauseas. I can’t seem to stop dry heaving, nothing more was coming up, and it was difficult to drink water because of how badly I’d scratched up the back of my throat, if I did manage to get something down, it wouldn’t stay down. There was no point in sitting by the toilet anymore. Nothing else was going to come up. I started to feel intense jolts, like someone was electrocuting me with a car battery, all of my muscles would quickly tense up and this would cause me to uncontrollably jolt and it resulted in me falling over several times. My ears were ringing and my vision was fading, like when you have been laying down and stand up too quickly. It came in waves, each time the ringing became loud and my vision began to fade, I felt that it would continue to intensify until I completely slipped away, but every time it would reverse itself. I felt that I needed to lay down in an attempt to ease the nausea, and to slow my horrifyingly fast heart rate. I grabbed my phone and climbed up the ladder onto the top bunk. The massive dosage made me feel a strong sense of quickly impending doom. I bolt back down the ladder and try to purge my stomach again with no luck so I go back up onto the dunk.
12:40AM: I lay down on the bed and keep feeling random muscles throughout my body quickly tense up. I feel like I am having repeated mini-seizures. Tears start to roll down my cheeks. I grab my phone and attempt to text my girlfriend and apologize for selfishly killing myself. My fingers keep spazzing out and it is very difficult to type. I can only get one message out “I feel like I’m fucking dying”. I feel an urgent need to puke set in so I sit up quickly and start to climb down the ladder, I put my feet down on the first step, and simply lose control of my body. It goes completely limp and I fall down into the small space between the bed and the wall onto the floor and smack my head onto the ground.
13:61AM: I open my eyes, I have no clue what is going on, no thoughts going through my mind, other than I was in agony. I was heavily intoxicated by the caffeine. I try to move, but am completely unable to. I feel that I can’t even breathe, I notice, that as my phone sometimes does, it started playing music out of nowhere, “Liquid Spirit (20syl) remix. I fight the feeling with all of my will, but can only move my fingers and toes. I’d felt this before. Sleep paralysis. I sat there using all of my will to get a breath of air, but I was completely unable to. Something about laying on the ground, hearing such an upbeat happy song while in complete terror felt so incredibly vindictive and torturous, like I was being drowned by a jolly psychopath. Eventually I broke free from it and began gasping for air, which leads me to dry heave. I push myself into the corner and sit there rocking back and forth. Eventually I feel that I am slipping away again and go into a seizure. Over the course of the night, I would continue to faint and wake up stuck in sleep paralysis. I have no memory of the rest of the night, I believe that I was awake for the majority of it.
6:30AM: My next solid memory is hearing my phone go off, I check and see that it’s my girlfriend. “Well aren’t you just a bundle of joy”. This just crushed my spirit. I don’t think I replied to her. Somehow, I managed to get up and get ready for school. I was still feeling HORRIBLE, but I could, to an extent, form thoughts. The rest of the school day was absolute misery. I wanted to leave so badly, I needed to leave.
During first period I left to the bathroom because I couldn’t stand to be sitting still in misery, surrounded by people. I get to the bathroom and slump into the corner and faint. I wake up 15 minutes later and rush back to class. I made it through the rest of the day without incident. I took several 10mg melatonin tablets and fall asleep.
It would take me about a week and a half to feel mostly “normal” again, the depression I felt in the following days was unfathomable and beyond crippling. The massive dose of caffeine must have caused a major chemical imbalance in my brain that would take a while to return to normal. I was very close to trying to kill myself again, in a less painful manner. The day after I told my girlfriend that I attempted to OD and was extremely sick. Her reaction, or lack of reaction, was a bad sign. I begged for a couple minutes of her time, but she was too busy to talk. 5 days after my OD attempt, I could see that she was lying about simply not having the time and I talked to her about this, only to be broken up with over text and hung up on in the following phone call.
I had memory issues for the next week, and stopped consuming caffeine for a while because the thought of it made me sick to my stomach. Thankfully, there isn’t any apparent damage. I was fully aware of this at the time, but didn’t care, but if one is to commit suicide, I would not recommend caffeine unless you want to feel unbearable pain, an extreme sense of doom, and horrible, slow death. Writing about this has been extremely difficult, but I felt I needed to do it to sort out my thoughts about the whole incident and still feel scarred from the incident. The worst experience of my life.
EDIT: I should make one thing clear, based on the feedback I've heard on some other sites. I didn't do it just because of the few reasons I discuss, there was much much more to it. I had practically no free time, even on the weekends, I was losing contact with my first serious girlfriend, and although it may seem a bit ridiculous because I am young, but I felt that I would be with her for much much longer, we talked for a MINUMUM of 4 hours a day and when we weren't doing that, we were messaging, before our relationship, I believed that I was practically unlovable, except through obligation, but that is just because I was too introverted, now I'm a social butterfly, with plenty of girl options, but ceasing to talk to her was very hard on me because I was so afraid of losing her. The few friends I had were becoming estranged because I only had time to hang out with people, every two or three weeks max, I'm having to file bankrupcy when I turn 18, which will fuck with college, I had horrible insomnia (got about 4 1/2 hours of sleep a night), a rapidly deteriorating home life, money issues, etc. I felt that I would never be happy, and that my life was going to be shit, so there was no point in working hard. Now I know that I'm going to be in for one hell of a life and feel much more optimistic.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ethanol
substancecode_alcohols
substancecode_gabaergics
substancecode_caffeine
substancecode_stimulants
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_negative
exptype_healthissues
exptype_bodyload
exptype_difficult
exptype_disaster
exptype_overdose
roacode_oral
Last edited by a moderator:
). Obviously she wasn't worth your time.