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Detox Attempt # 3,579

SS373dOH

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
8,911
So I was sober after using for 20 years. 6 months of that was in jail, then I completed a year long drug court program. I got caught with a dirty UA a few months before graduating, and to not get kicked out of the program I decided to get the sublocade shot. I got a total of 5 of them, the last being in January of 2021. My graduation was in march, so I wanted to be able to get high by march. It was only supposed to be a once or twice a week thing, but we all know how that goes. SO Ive been using daily since march. Crack and heroin. Mt family was extremely disappointed and my brother said I cojuldnt see my nephew until I was sober. So I procured about 10 xan bars. I made it 3 days and relapsed today. It was just too much. Come tuesday I plan on either going the sublocade route or the methadone route. both have their pros and cons. My biggest worry was when the time comes to jump off the medication. with the subs, I switched to heroin so I wouldnt have to detox for months. that didnt work. I think Im just going to have to bite the bullet and accept the fact I will be on those meds for the rest of my life..

Thoughts ?
 
You have to weigh if being on maintenence meds and the side effects of them is worse than relapse and the life that comes with being on heroin and other opioid drugs.
For me, methadone likely saved my life. It's an effective medication against opioid use and induction is fairly straight forward. The worst part is making it to the clinic everyay but hopefully where you're at, it dosen't take too long to start getting take homes.
Think it over carefully.
 
I'd rather have methadone, but for the wrong reasons, Id want to get high a little bit, however when I had the sub shot, I'd still use even though I knew I wouldnt get high, I still dont really get high and its been 8 months since my last shot. So methadone might work better, but the daily shit would be a hassle. And Im considering just staying on this shit untilI die. I detoxed in jail and was finally clean. thatss the only place Icanrapid detox off dope, cause I have no choice. maybe I should get arrested for something petty?
 
I'd rather be dependent on methadone for however long than detox in jail. Detoxing sucks. Jail sucks. Detoxing in jail... I pray that I never have to endure that hell.
 
Most jails at least give you clonodine, some even diazepam, bt ya still sucks, ive done it a few times.
 
Milwaukee county gave out valuim.. they switched to librium the last time I was there. I heared they switched back since.
 
I’ve come down in jail over a dozen times, then I get out and use again because I find I’m happier when I’m using drugs.
 
gaaahhhh i used to think i'd just be on gear forever cos i didn't see how it was possible to get clean, let alone stay clean.

but, this week i'm a year off crack and heroin and i haven't even wanted any this time around. i'd got about 18 months before.

is rehab an option for you? you need to put in some hard psychological work to avoid the prospect of going straight back on the dark when you finish whatever maintenance you choose. rehab was a great start for me to put in the groundwork but the real work came after and i had to treat my recovery as a full time job for over 6 months before starting an actual full time job again. and even now its an ongoing project and i'm by no means perfect. but my life is so much better.
 
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