• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Assurance

T

TaylorC

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 20, 2011
Messages
22
I'm 24, from age 16 to now i've used various drugs and am quite understanding of there affects. I'm living in a dual diagnosis supported housing where i am tested twice a week now and am really looking to get out as i want to go back to using drugs, but also keep a lid on things regards to managing my life and health so to speak.

I strongly believe i am capable of this, the main want is to smoke weed, but i'd be kidding if i said i wouldnt use heroin occasionally too.

I am getting disability, aware of AA,NA meetings etc. my support worker recomends i stay here but im so addament i want to move out i guess im going to do it anyway. I feel so stuck here.

Point to the post is i guess i just want some view on the matter, sorry i cant really get more accross, as far as mental health, i'm pretty far out in my views and am diagnosed borderline psychosis, i chose not to use meds such as ssri's and antipsychotics as i dont like the side affects.

I came to this place as i wasnt keen on going to a direct hostel and i wasnt getting on well with parents, we needed our space.

sp am i making the right move, only i can answer that i guess.
 
So...

1) You're in a dual diagnosis treatment center.

2) You're diagnosed with "borderline psychosis." I'm not sure exactly what this is, it might help if you provided more information. Perhaps it's like a personality disorder diagnosis?

3) You don't take any medicine for this diagnosis because you don't like the side effects.

4) Your case worker suggests that you shouldn't leave the treatment center.

5) You want to leave so you can do drugs while continuing to not take any type of medicine for your diagnosis.

Obviously I don't know much about your situation. But it seems like you should stay where you are for now. It would help if you provided more information about your diagnosis because it allows us to understand the severity of it.

If you didn't have mental health issues it could possibly be safe at this point for you to smoke weed and use heroin although I don't think I'd ever recommend that someone do heroin. But I can't really see how leaving a treatment center with what seems like untreated psychological issues in order to use drugs is a good idea.

Again, you'll get better advice if you provide more information about your psych condition. But I would advise you to stay where you are.
 
Thanks, It all seems quite clear now, i've spoke to a few support workers here, and essentialy its my choice, i've explained my reasons etc.

My mental healths a tricky one, i have severe distrust of society on a whole and because i have used drugs and am open about it, i can pass as having disorders etc. although i consider myself fairly well.

Weed was my medicine and it was only my living conditions at the time causing the problem, now i've matured to be able to move on. I know its difficult to get the full picture across on here, but i'm pretty confident I'm heading on the right track

Cheers :D

PS diagnosis was a bit sketchy anyhow
 
what were you in treatment for using? if it was heroin, dont kid yourself that you can just chip again.
 
i've never been a hardcore heroin addict, longest stint was 3days running, i've only ever chipped with it. however drugs have played a big part of my life since 16, my biggest interest regarding drugs has moved to entheogens such as dmt, cannabis, mushrooms, peyote etc, im all for honesty and i want to smoke cannabis. but i am unable to do so without cheating drug tests here so it would been concealing truth if i was to stay in the supported accomodation i am in.

I'm in treatment for mental health and addictions, but i'm unhappy been unable to smoke weed, i'm against prescribed anti depressants and believe i had better results using cannabis and other entheogens. being denied cannabis is like being denied a birthright to me. bring on my freedom

i say treatment, its more recovery, it has allowed me time to take a good look at my life and put support networks in place. im addament to go on my merry way and am fairly excited about it!
 
Your self medication bro. Weed can make mental disorders worse same with stuff that make you have a hallucination. Weed though effects your brain a great deal. Was your life so much better on weed? I mean it sounds like you got to where your add because of drugs, because you tried to medicate your self, it sounds like you were unable to do it. I mean if your on disability your not functioning like a normal person. I had a sugary when I was 19 I live in constant pain with lots of side effects so I understand wanting to do drugs. I used weed too for along time. I used lots of drugs some I had problems with some I could drop with no issues. However I decided I would rather go to a doctor and get prescribed drugs in a safe environment then keep trying to self medicate my self which always failed. I will also say I have lingering mental issues form my drug use including general paranoia, distrust of people, unusual thoughts, sleeping problems, physical problems. I won't say im cured or anything. I deal with my issues every day however Im much more functioning and a part of society then I was before. I feel much better and much more stable then I did using. Im in a clean and sober house my self and at first I wanted to leave too to do drugs, but I made the right choice and I stayed long enough to clear my mind.

Paranoia will never go away, but I can deal with it now, I find that weed stopped helping after a time and was really setting me off more then it was helping. I would stay where you are. your making a mistake and your worker is trying to stop you. Listen to people who have a clear mind and head they are just trying to help. its hard to get past the distrust and allow someone else to take care of you (such as a doctor prescribing you drugs) and while I don't take anything mental I like you hate the side effects I did receive counseling and I work very hard to keep my mental state stable.

don't leave. heroin and weed... this isn't any type of medication bro, medical weed isn't for mental problems it will only cause more harm long term. Like I said where has self medicating got you so far? Go to a doctor get some help. Don't you want to function?
 
I dont want to function, i just want to get on with my life, moderate drug use crossed with healthy living. appreciate your advice, i truly have my mind set in stone.
 
Hey Taylor, I can see that you really want to move out. No 24-year old wants to be in some sort of half-way house - you're an adult with your life in front of you. Maybe you think you want to move out just so you can smoke and chip again, and that is probably true, but I think you're also (maybe unconsciously) aware that life needs to move on. Maybe see about moving out, but with the help of a psychiatrist or psychologist to check in with. I feel for you; living the way you are probably isn't helping your mental outlook, but maybe just start making a plan to move out for independence's sake and worry about cannabis once you've adjusted. It's not something I would jump right back into when adjusting to an independent life. Good luck!
 
TaylorC said:
I'm 24, from age 16 to now i've used various drugs and am quite understanding of there affects. I'm living in a dual diagnosis supported housing where i am tested twice a week now and am really looking to get out as i want to go back to using drugs, but also keep a lid on things regards to managing my life and health so to speak.

I strongly believe i am capable of this, the main want is to smoke weed, but i'd be kidding if i said i wouldnt use heroin occasionally too.

I am getting disability, aware of AA,NA meetings etc. my support worker recomends i stay here but im so addament i want to move out i guess im going to do it anyway. I feel so stuck here.

Point to the post is i guess i just want some view on the matter, sorry i cant really get more accross, as far as mental health, i'm pretty far out in my views and am diagnosed borderline psychosis, i chose not to use meds such as ssri's and antipsychotics as i dont like the side affects.

I came to this place as i wasnt keen on going to a direct hostel and i wasnt getting on well with parents, we needed our space.

sp am i making the right move, only i can answer that i guess.
Click to expand...

I completely understand your desire for freedom and liberty.. try to be objective though. Will taking drugs make you worse? Will losing the support you currently have make it harder for you? Are the side effects of your meds really worth the risk of full-blown psychosis? It sounds like short term gain for long-term losses.. where as if you stay where you are a bit longer, listen to the experts, your support worker, focus on building yourself up and becoming stronger - then you can have your freedom, and keep it. If you leave right now, especially as your intention is to take drugs, i would be very concerned that you would rapidly spiral down and end up losing your freedom pretty quickly..

It is entirely your right not to take meds if you don't want to as long as it is not having a negative impact on yourself or others - and although your views on the matter are different to mine, that is okay, I respect your autonomy and your right to choose :)

However, I strongly advise you to stay where you are for a bit longer - make sure you are stable and can get all the support you get, before you venture out on your own and risk losing it all..

Good luck <3
 
Thanks all, i really appreciate your concerns, although the urge to rush things and get out asap its not a feesible option, I am keeping support in place when i move on and believe i have gained a lot in the 9months i have been here and no way want to go on any downward spirals, i just gotta keep a good check on myself and not let things go pear shaped.
 
my psych condition really was me being pissed at living with my mum and dad, i wanted freedom there but was using drugs and generally causing trouble, now im more stable and have support in place, i feel im ready to move on and keep mental support networks if need be although im sure im fine without the support. im not using the support anyhow, i'm doing everything my way and i'm pretty happy at that
 
what' worrying is you plan on going back to drugs.

weed is a drug. it is okay to use once in a while, or as a medicine to get off dope, or for cancer or w/e, but its like any other drug if you abuse it for pleasure's sake. it gives you euphoria, which is why it gets addictive. prescribed meds like prozac and klono or w/e are also addictive, but since they dont give you a rush or w/e its a lot different.

stop being an idiot and stay put before you sacrifice everything all over again :D
 
haha, cheers mate!

one thing i learned being here is i never wanna come back!

going back on drugs for me is the exciting part about it, roll on 3 weeks when i have the savings to move out!

Not that i need any excuses but i'm going on the fact that elapse is a natural process in recovery, like i say, i never wanna get into the messes i've been in before and im gonna remember that to my back teeth.

I gotta realise my triggers for using and alternative behaviours to use instead. not stuffing my face with processed junk food
 
Last edited:
^ glad you've had a good think about it and are going to be alert to triggers etc. An experience like that can really help keep you on track so I'm really glad to hear about that. Good luck, and make sure you are doing what is right for you, not just what you want at this moment in time :)
 
Thankyou, my head has been all over the shop, i have realised bad eating habits have been a coping strategy, albeit a unhealthy one, i am going to practice conquering that to some degree.

i spent the week cleansing, lots of juices enemas, exercise and rest, but today fell into a bad patch and went and made myself sick on junkfood (nasty), which should and could of been avoided, my excuse this morning was craving a joint which coulda been counteracted any number of ways, sauna and exercise in hindsight would of been nice.

be aware of self permissions

im hanging in there, part of me wants to run right now, but i know thats not wise. i need to plan and have things ready to run smoothly, otherwise i'll be amidst a move of chaos, however tempting is best avoided, bpooo
 
Last edited by a moderator:
^ That sounds very sensible - as I said earlier, if you do this too soon without having it planned and being as ready as you can be, you may end up bouncing back in - where as if you take your time to get it right, there is far more chance you will succeed :)

I'm merging your last few posts together by the way - generally it is best if you click the "edit" button and add to your original post rather than making multiple posts one after the other :) I hope that is okay.

Good luck with everything and keep us updated! :) <3
 
Right, heres where i am.

I can move into my flat when i get enough money together, which at latest will be the 22nd, im on my last legs regarding strikes living in this recovery facilty, i have nowhere else to live, last night i had a few drinks and i just got back blew 0 on the breathalyser so i am safe but withholding the truth about the alcohol was driving me insane. i'm just looking out for myself you know.

Part of me wants to be honest about it in tomorrows morning group but im worried about the consequences, maybe i should ask the staff first about what would happen if i were to get another strike for self admittence.

I've answered my own question really
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top