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Bluelight Crew
All my life, I have been somewhat unable to "get" most people or social conventions - conversely, a lot of people have not been able to "get" me. Disaster usually ensues, due to a communication error that had no chance of being prevented. Throughout my psychiatric explorations, I've been given false diagnoses of a Bipolar Disorder which would not qualify as Bipolar and obviously incompatible Personality Disorders, and have previously been drugged into oblivion because I was "delusional" or "psychotic". These things are not good for the self-esteem. I was eventually worn down to the point where I just gave up and accepted it.
Recently, however, I happened to come across a DSM-IV and came across Asperger's Disorder. As I read it, I could easily identify with the diagnostic criteria - the poor RL social skills, the ungodly resistance to change and the pattern-adherence especially so. But it wasn't an "oh god, I have this too?!?" identification, it was more like a light-bulb going off. Qualifying for this syndrome would make my personality fundamentally different from the norm, and it does tend to mimic schizophrenia in its more severe forms.
I seem to have gone off on a tangent(it happens). I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I fundamentally don't fit into normal society, through no fault of my own(at first
). Reading non-verbal clues and picking up the subtleties of inflection, as well as what the expected social boundaries are, involve me sending my brain into overdrive. That only goes so far, though.
I guess what I expect to accomplish with this thread is to maybe make my experience translatable - maybe conjure up moments in your life where you were fundamentally misunderstood, or had to get along with someone who was raised in a foreign culture(or subculture); the converse situation applies as well. I'd just like to know how other people would go about solving problems I encounter on a daily basis.
A link that probably explains it better than I do
Move it if you want to. I posted this in here to focus on the social aspect.
Recently, however, I happened to come across a DSM-IV and came across Asperger's Disorder. As I read it, I could easily identify with the diagnostic criteria - the poor RL social skills, the ungodly resistance to change and the pattern-adherence especially so. But it wasn't an "oh god, I have this too?!?" identification, it was more like a light-bulb going off. Qualifying for this syndrome would make my personality fundamentally different from the norm, and it does tend to mimic schizophrenia in its more severe forms.
I seem to have gone off on a tangent(it happens). I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I fundamentally don't fit into normal society, through no fault of my own(at first
). Reading non-verbal clues and picking up the subtleties of inflection, as well as what the expected social boundaries are, involve me sending my brain into overdrive. That only goes so far, though.I guess what I expect to accomplish with this thread is to maybe make my experience translatable - maybe conjure up moments in your life where you were fundamentally misunderstood, or had to get along with someone who was raised in a foreign culture(or subculture); the converse situation applies as well. I'd just like to know how other people would go about solving problems I encounter on a daily basis.
A link that probably explains it better than I do
Move it if you want to. I posted this in here to focus on the social aspect.
