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Are your parents racist, and how do you deal with them?

Kenickie said:
i find this statement to be uproariously false. show me a 'SERIOUSLY equal' place that isn't North Korea and I'll show you a liar.
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in Cuba everyone is fucking equal! .. you dont know because you haven't experienced it and your family didn't flee from Communism. in communism every one is EQUAL
there is no such thing as color everyone is poor together nobody gives a shit what your skin color looks like.
you can call a person black or as in cuba we call then negros (pronounced differently ) and it is not offensive nor racist

sorry for getting off topic but i just had to explain
 
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Middleway said:
You will find people get more "racist" as they get older because they have more experience's that have caused those views. They realise that the whole idiology of multiculturalism is one of convienience, an invention by the government to increase the population for more economic growth, increase division and therefore control of the populus and to reduce wages.
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No, some people become more racially insensitive as they get older for the same reason they stop listening to new music, and learning new skills.

They see a world that's moving faster than they are; progressing at a speed they can't keep up with. They retaliate by clinging to a place that never moves - their comfort zone. As they shrink in the distance behind the rest of the world, they make desperate attempts to rationalize how the world is steadily declining, and becoming morally bankrupt. In reality, it is simply them grasping for a sense of exceptionalism. It's more sad than anything, seeing these miserable xenophobes grow old and confused, all the while voting republican, and yelling at kids to get off their damn lawns.

On the matter of the topic: No, my mother was never racist and my girlfriend of five years is of mixed race. Yes, we make racial jokes, but I hold no prejudice or malice against people simply because of how they look, or who they worship.
 
No. My parents are both very open minded, and they both love the blacks. ;)

Anyway, just remember, that a large part of growing up, is realizing that you are going to surpass your parents in some way. It looks like it won't be too hard for you to do that. That's a good thing IMO. But on the other hand, it must suck to not be able to relate to your parents.
 
Cyc said:
No, some people become more racially insensitive as they get older for the same reason they stop listening to new music, and learning new skills.

They see a world that's moving faster than they are; progressing at a speed they can't keep up with. They retaliate by clinging to a place that never moves - their comfort zone. As they shrink in the distance behind the rest of the world, they make desperate attempts to rationalize how the world is steadily declining, and becoming morally bankrupt. In reality, it is simply them grasping for a sense of exceptionalism. It's more sad than anything, seeing these miserable xenophobes grow old and confused, all the while voting republican, and yelling at kids to get off their damn lawns.

On the matter of the topic: No, my mother was never racist and my girlfriend of five years is of mixed race. Yes, we make racial jokes, but I hold no prejudice or malice against people simply because of how they look, or who they worship.
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lol, awesome break down and very true in parts, but dont try and lump all conservatives into one basket it causes your epidermis to show imo
 
And don't lump left wing people who have witnessed and experienced ethnic violence way out of proportion to the size of their population as right wing radicals.
The cry of racist is cop out way to shut down people who hold a different viewpoint to your own and is just as sad as the particular old man. Multiculturalists and facists hold much in common.
Anyway, back on topic :D
 
My father lost most of his family in the holocaust, but was not tolerant of blacks, browns, yellows, hispanics or women.
My mum thought black people were only ok when singing songs.
My stepmother called orientals "rice cackers".
There's not much you can do to change their opinions, just see that you don't become like them.
 
Pegasus said:
Start dating a black (or whatever race) girl? It worked for me with my father's comments, though he isn't very racist, just a little harsh with stereotypes...
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Im kind of seeing a black guy. She isnt racist she just doesnt believe in interracial relationships. I live with her. Idk what to do.
 
^Umm, is it a guy or girl? It seems that you are referring to this person by both genders.

Regardless, I don't see much of a point in sticking around if he/she is close-minded like that. Maybe her family or friends would flip out over this type of relationship? I don't think that this is a good excuse, but it is a probable reason if he/ she is truly not racist.
 
My whole family is, among other things....basically they're fucking ignorant rednecks who can't ever accept anyone who isn't exactly like them, so I changed my name, cut ties with them and moved states so I never had to interact with them again (obviously there was more to it than that, but their bigotry is a big part of it).

That is admittedly a bit extreme for most people, lol....but I suggest don't give them any more leeway than you would anybody else you know. If they say something you think is grossly offensive, explain why you feel this way and ask them to stop. If they don't actually realise what they're doing is wrong or if they don't respect you enough to at least tone it down in your presence, then just stop spending time with them unless you have to. There is an inflated sense of how close you should be to someone just because you're related, but there's no actual rule that says you have to be miserable/awkward/uncomfortable/whatever just because of their failings as human beings...
 
Pegasus said:
^Umm, is it a guy or girl? It seems that you are referring to this person by both genders.

Regardless, I don't see much of a point in sticking around if he/she is close-minded like that. Maybe her family or friends would flip out over this type of relationship? I don't think that this is a good excuse, but it is a probable reason if he/ she is truly not racist.
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Thy guy im "involved" with is black. My gma was the she. lol
 
Raz said:
My whole family is, among other things....basically they're fucking ignorant rednecks who can't ever accept anyone who isn't exactly like them, so I changed my name, cut ties with them and moved states so I never had to interact with them again (obviously there was more to it than that, but their bigotry is a big part of it).

That is admittedly a bit extreme for most people, lol....but I suggest don't give them any more leeway than you would anybody else you know. If they say something you think is grossly offensive, explain why you feel this way and ask them to stop. If they don't actually realise what they're doing is wrong or if they don't respect you enough to at least tone it down in your presence, then just stop spending time with them unless you have to. There is an inflated sense of how close you should be to someone just because you're related, but there's no actual rule that says you have to be miserable/awkward/uncomfortable/whatever just because of their failings as human beings...
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We are super close and live together. Ive voiced my opinion and she isnt raciest per say she just doesnt believe in black/white relationships.
 
my mom is VERY racist.
and my dad is VERY stereotypical.

we are full korean and if someone is not korean, than they aren't as good (according to my parents)
it is fucking annoying because all of my past girlfriends have been hispanic and i digg hispanic/white mix, and all they say is "you better not get married to her" "i dont like her because shes not korean" "when are you going to dump her"
it is so annoying.
and i HATE it when they say stuff like "do you want to be like mexicans and blacks and not be successful in life??"
or "why is ur grade so low? you are not a native american!"

oh my fucking gosh i hate racism and i hate racist ppl.
MAKES ME MAD!
 
Kisses2miihaters said:
We are super close and live together. Ive voiced my opinion and she isnt raciest per say she just doesnt believe in black/white relationships.
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Perhaps you could tell her that phylogenic evidence has traced the earliest human remains to Africa. It stands to reason that all of our ancestors were dark skinned.

I'm not sure how she isn't being racist "per say". Speaking out against interracial coupling is flat out racist. No other way to really look at it.
 
racist parents

I am 52.

My mom is 72.

My dad is 82.

My parents are only comfortable around other white people. I have never heard either of them say anything nice about a nonwhite person.

They have always been this way. That is how they were raised.

When I was a little girl, I didn't notice. When I was a teenager, I didn't notice. I only had white friends so there wasn't anything for my parents to say.

I married a white guy.

But they didn't like him because he had long hair and a beard. That's when I realized that my parents judged people at first sight. I thought it was unbecoming. I did not want to copy my parents. I wasn't sure if I had been but I knew I didn't want to be judgmental.

I have friends from all the different colors now.

My parents don't have friends.

8)
 
My mom's "racist" in regards illegal immigration but then, so am I. Racism can be rational, i.e., if U're White, don't go into a Black neighborhood at night. Even some Blacks (kindly) told me to get the hell outta here! I've been mugged by Black gangs before, one time one of them wanted to cut my guts out but I cringed and passed out so they didn't. Went into a native American neighborhood and someone said to me, "what are U doing here?"
 
Kisses2miihaters said:
We are super close and live together. Ive voiced my opinion and she isnt raciest per say she just doesnt believe in black/white relationships.
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It's a shame that you are so close that you feel her unfair views should encroach on your actions.

If you want to date this guy, THEN DATE HIM, regardless of any ill-founded and prejudiced (read: fucking bullshit) opinions your mother has on inter-racial relations. Just don't bring him back to the house and avoid your mother at all costs when with him to ensure no nasty situation or uncomfortable experience could occur for the poor guy.

Racist fucking idiots.
 
lol Im gonna keep bring him to the house at night. shes asleep and they dont have to see each other. I thought she was against any type off interracial relationships but no. its just black and white. idk. She will have to get use to it.
 
thanks Cyc :D

I reckon attempt4 has the right idea...have a relationship with whomever you want, but it sounds like you're gonna have to limit your involvement with her if she's not willing to change.

On the bright side, not turning it into a fight and her seeing that this guy makes you happy might be enough to turn her around....when I got together with my first ex, his mum disowned him when she found out he was seeing a guy because she had obviously major dramas with him being gay. They didn't talk at all for months, but eventually she realised that he was doing what made him happy and he wasn't hurting anyone, so she made an effort to try and accept it....and by the time he and I broke up she was like a second mum to me and she was extremely supportive of gay rights etc.

So people can change, sometimes they just need a bit of enlightenment.. :)
 
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