mashead testing
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2001
- Messages
- 12,030
I never imagined to feel like this, I never even thought I would have to deal with this, well I did but you dont realise quite how it is until you feel it. Its more than cliche its reality, reality is that cliches hurt or the way we feel cant be describe other than the undescribable cliche "thats life".
But this isnt life, it is for me but not for you anymore your life is gone. Its gone without a notice, there was no sign up outside your house saying you wont be here tomorrow, there was no notice in the papers saying "bye its been nice", not even an email or phone call.... but how could I expect something to end like this.
We dont expect it, we fear it occasionally when we see it happen to someone else but its always someone else and we feel sad for a few seconds then its gone, but now you are gone and there was none of this and its me not them who has to cope.
Cope, the word seems to suggest I can handle all this, makes it sound like im big and strong and I can take this. Nothing could ever be so far from the truth, although recent events lead me to conclude we never know so how can anything be true. We dont know what to expect or how we will go on from here, this very second everything could stop and its gone, gone forever and no coming back.
You arent going to be coming back either, I could think of another cliche and wish it was all a dream but lifes the biggest cliche of them all. Not knowing what is going to happen leaves us scared but we cant let the fear of death get us down, can we?
But fears can be realised just like dreams and sometimes with reality we have to deal, we have to take the tears and the pain. The hurt of knowing nothing will ever be the same again, the fact of losing someone we had become a part of, someone who we loved.
Its so easy to say, im sorry but sorry doesnt ring true to these ears knowing I never got the chance to say goodbye, I never got that final time to say I love you, that one last touch that would linger forever. Knowing its the end would help but I didnt and I feel so helpless right now.
I never knew these things, I thought I did. We all think we can get by and maybe I will but theres an important part of me missing, maybe not a finger or a tooth someone I could get on with but something so much deeper, a friend, a lover someone who I could believe in.
Love hurts, death hurts, the death of someone you love hurts more than I ever imagined.
But this isnt life, it is for me but not for you anymore your life is gone. Its gone without a notice, there was no sign up outside your house saying you wont be here tomorrow, there was no notice in the papers saying "bye its been nice", not even an email or phone call.... but how could I expect something to end like this.
We dont expect it, we fear it occasionally when we see it happen to someone else but its always someone else and we feel sad for a few seconds then its gone, but now you are gone and there was none of this and its me not them who has to cope.
Cope, the word seems to suggest I can handle all this, makes it sound like im big and strong and I can take this. Nothing could ever be so far from the truth, although recent events lead me to conclude we never know so how can anything be true. We dont know what to expect or how we will go on from here, this very second everything could stop and its gone, gone forever and no coming back.
You arent going to be coming back either, I could think of another cliche and wish it was all a dream but lifes the biggest cliche of them all. Not knowing what is going to happen leaves us scared but we cant let the fear of death get us down, can we?
But fears can be realised just like dreams and sometimes with reality we have to deal, we have to take the tears and the pain. The hurt of knowing nothing will ever be the same again, the fact of losing someone we had become a part of, someone who we loved.
Its so easy to say, im sorry but sorry doesnt ring true to these ears knowing I never got the chance to say goodbye, I never got that final time to say I love you, that one last touch that would linger forever. Knowing its the end would help but I didnt and I feel so helpless right now.
I never knew these things, I thought I did. We all think we can get by and maybe I will but theres an important part of me missing, maybe not a finger or a tooth someone I could get on with but something so much deeper, a friend, a lover someone who I could believe in.
Love hurts, death hurts, the death of someone you love hurts more than I ever imagined.
