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Are you alone? v. I'm off to visit my friends.

M

max_

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 15, 2011
Messages
576
Okay, I'm 20 now. Finished high school 2 years ago. Dropped out of college on the first year, and went back on this year. In these couple of years since high school I didn't make any new friends, not one. I did meet new people, but couldn't really bound with them. My social life is whatever I have left from high school, which is 1 twisted ex gf and her twin sister (I have some fucked up shit going on with the two of them) and my two best friends from school, only one of them sees me every week or two (which has been slowly turning into once a month), the other every three months of so.
Aaaaaaaanyway, I seem to be becoming and adult, and alongside with it a lonely person. I know many adults are lonely, plus I've learnt to be happy and have a great time on my own. But still, it'd be nice to have someone to go for beers with or whatever. What do you think?
 
64 views and no answer?? is everyone around here so d@mned popular?? :P just kidding, no thoughts though?
 
Just being around new people in college isn't going to make you new friends. You have to open yourself up and make an effort to get to know people. Almost everyone is a lot different than their first impression indicates so you can't really say you can't bond with someone until you really get to know them. Do you spend any time in the student center? Have you tried striking up conversations with anyone while you're there? Do you ever do anything with anyone from school outside of school?
 
It all depends on how your personality is. If you have a very upbeat, social attitude, all you need to do is go to the bar and talk with random dudes and ladies and you're sure to make friends. I can attest that I don't have all that many friends anymore, but when I do get a chance to see my friends, I make sure to have a great time with them or I ask if they have any other friends that would like to come along for the ride.

If you don't have a social attitude, then you just gotta work up to it. It sounds like you're doing pretty cool on your own, so maybe this is just a portion of your life that you need to get to know yourself better.
 
I used to pretend like how I imagined I would act were I someone else that were popular. Whenever I am super nervous or lost, I just pretend I'm one of my neighbor's older siblings that always knew what to say, how to say it, and were never disliked. Find someone like that and mimic them.

Sounds horrible, I know- but it got me through so many awkward phases. Just don't idolize someone who's a jackass.

And as others have said: get out there, go to student centers, cafes, etc.
You could be a super creeper and go to a bus stop and just keep waiting for new people and never actually get on a bus. <- That's such a good idea I'm going to go do it.
 
i've had a really active social life my entire 32 years. friends, family, women, etc etc.

i'm thankful for that.

but, as someone who is recently divorced and living alone, i can honestly say i love being alone.

i still have a ton of friends, but i don't hang out with them that much just because i'm loving my space.

ask ken and pander about that.

anyway....listen to the posters above and open yourself up. get out there and make it happen, friend.
 
Do different things. Get out more. If the methods you're using aren't working - try something new! :)
I don't have many friends either. I do have a boyfriend who is like my "main" friend. Besides that, my best friend would be my sister, and I see her like once every couple of months since she's away at university and neither of us live anywhere close to our parents right now. I have some other kinda friends who I see at parties and whatnot. But I do most of my things alone anyway. I like it that way. I can choose when to go out and see people and then I can get rid of them when need be.
Parties, clubs, bars ... you can find cool people there.
Hobbies - clubs, volunteering, extracurricular
School/class - you have to really make an effort to talk to others though
Work - not my personal choice (my "work" persona is completely different than my "fun" persona so hanging out with work people isn't my idea of a good time) but that takes quite a bit of effort too

:)
 
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