Well i dont mean to throw a wrench in a seemingly good string of success stories but my life as an addict... Well i'll tell you about it. My mother was addicted to meth from 18 to 38. She had me at 21. From the start meth ruled my life even tho i had no clue what it entailed for my future then. At four meth cost my mother custody of me. At 7 meth cost her the fight to regain custody of me. At 9 I moved back in with her. At 10 she was using again.
At 11 meth tore us apart again. At 12 crack cost me a great foster family and had me expelled from school. At 13 meth cost my mother her fight to regain custody of me once more. At 13 drugs eventually lost me my closest foster parent. At 14 i turned to drugs more to cope with losing my family and being second classs in my mother's eyes, i was expelled from yet another school. At 15 I was released from the intensive therapautic foster care i had been placed in due to the state's inability to control me, upon freedom i lost control, drugs were my life and i was free to get them again and i dove head first spiralling out of control, i went through every agency and state home still willing to take me due to my Maximum risk level.
The state eventually moved me first into my aunts, then my sister and her husbands, then to SRC or jail for foster kids and then finally out of options no where to place me in the entire state my mother who had moved back shortly before this and asked her if she would like to have me placed into her care pending a custody hearing, my mother said yes. At 16 my mother was granted custody of me the final time, within months she had relapsed, we moved, out of state, not once but twice each time farther from my home to get my mother away from meth.
At 17 having moved around so much in just a year my HS credits were a mess most eventually being lost in transfering schools, I dropped out got my GED and started workin, drug free now in our new home. At 18 i moved to to a major city but came back within weeks a few short weeks after that i was arrested for a burglary my friend had committed but said i was also involved with in order to get a plea bargain. I got my first felony and a few months taken from me, i got out went back to work but liked the fast easy cash that was free to me as much as i could steal, i worked and stole like none other things werent too bad.
At 19 life went downhill when a friend got his car stuck when we were partying in the mountains, other friend with a car left his passengers who i didnt know there with me while he drove the others to town, one of them broke into a cabin and took a lousy two bottles of liquor, but when the owners made it to their cabin they noticed the car called the police and a string of confessions ended with the group of strangers i had stayed behind with pinning it on me, once again another felony but tough luck it was prison this time, complete a 7 month boot camp (weighing 303 coming in it felt impossible) or serve my two felony charges of 2 -4 yrs one after another, i chose boot camp, i went struggled, lost 130 lbs got out.
Now i'm 20 fresh out of prison i'm sent to the largest city in our state to complete 1 yr of the hardest probation in the state. I struggled having to schedule my every move a week ahead, no deviation from it whatsoever, I met a girl fell in love, got invloved in smokin 'spice' aka legal weed, went to school finally but was forced to quit because inbetween classes i was caught deviating from my weekly schedule and it was find a job in 3 weeks or get revoked so i got a job, overall doing good on my probation made it off the hardest level not without some trouble here and there but i made it unlike 85% of the ones who tried.
I'm 21 now and i'm on regular probation doing good have a niceish house still with girl she leaves outta state to help her sister for a month with kids, being free of all the strict rules i lose control like i normally do, i split with her after a year, i party 3 or 4 nights of the week drinking until sunrise, i party out of control for 4 months solid until i got a death threat from my ex's dad over some prank call he thought i'd arranged, well i'm not going back to prison or dealin with drama, i pack my shit and scoot back to near where i was arrested, I get here i hook back up with all my friends who all 20+ now and most on dope, they all want me to party and use with them 24/7 and here it goes again, i'm riding this wave right now trying to stay in control of my life even with dope this time, its not the easiest but in my own mind I'm a success story of failure...
I've succeeded out of failure, everything in this mini novel i've just written is a fraction of a minutae of what i've been through, I had it rough, others have had it way worse, but i came out of prison a convict with my ID a ssc card and the clothes on my back, somehow never making more than $9.00 i completeda semester and most of another of nursing studies, i have a house full of furniture and stuff, my own car and above everything else i figured out what i used in my mind to enable me, now i know what it is i'm working to fix it...
As a cinderella tale my story is nothing even close, but I'd like to think that even tho i raised hell and havoc when i was younger, I got caught i did what they told me i had to do to pay for it, i got out did everything there too made something of myself contributed to society positively for the first time in my life and i still do to this day. I'm twenty one yrs old, i use meth, been on probation my entire adult life, i've been incarcerated in jail and or prison for over half my adult life, lived imprisoned in my own home for an entire year once out of prison and despite my fucked up childhood and fuckin up my life once i was an adult I've succeeded at life in my eyes, I'm alive and healthy, free at last with a blank check on life...
