• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ā¤ļø Welcome Guest! ā¤ļø


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Are there women here that will accept introverted psychos?

Status
Not open for further replies.
AbbeyLee said:
Cartman is an evil genius. I don't think he gets the credit he deserves because he's spoilt and rude.. He and I have much in common šŸ˜Ž
Click to expand...
Ellen Degeneres Nod GIF
 
The only solution is to find peace and deal with the cards you have been given. Being a psychopath is nothing rare. Many people are psychopaths and funnily enough, many of them have never received a criminal record and lots of them are in positions of power. Those that aren't are among us anyway and you probably wouldn't notice unless you knew what to look for.

You can manage your shit and live a decent meaningful life. I once read a book written by an acclaimed psychologist whose job it is is to forensically analyze psychopaths. Interestingly his father was a psychopath, which is what put him on the path to learning about psychopathy. Something special that stood out in his book was how many examples he used whereby psychopathy could be integrated with everyday life. In other words, how psychopaths can live good lives and not end up with the stereotyped label of serial killer. His book outlined the most important elements of doing this by describing what is known scientifically about psychopathy and then the applied psychology to implement that knowledge.

Psychopaths can be good guys. Of course, good implying that they are also capable of expressing behaviour that can be extreme and potentially harmful. You could say that people with BPD are terminally sick and their symptoms fatal but that is not the case at all, physical implications of pathology or not (psychopathy is predicated on physical abnormalities in the brain). The same can be said for psychopaths. Although how they are wired is different doesn't mean they HAVE to flick that switch when shit hits the fan.

I mean, you know this already because you haven't committed the ultimate acts of violence on another like the well known pop culture psychopaths like Bundy. Although you talk like you have, there is a difference between idealizing and reality. Doesn't that imply you are capable of restraint and discipline? Therefore, can't this be applied to relationships in your life and anything else for that matter? You just have to want this. And for that that will inevitably involve a journey that will span your entire life into working on yourself, developing and growing and learning etc.

Its going to be hard and you might be better off not mentioning psychopathy unless you want to end up stigmatized and stereotyped all your life. Its probably also best to learn that psychopathy is not something you want to boast about or assume will give you street cred. Understanding that will involve maturity and more self awareness. It will just reinforce any negativity which will then fuel loss of impulse control and make it easier to lose your cool. You are also going to find a lot of people that are not interested, won't go near you and will also do anything to avoid you like crazy. And you can't blame them. Psychopaths don't get a good rating in society.

Its your job to prove you are a good psychopath. Just like someone with narcissism can also be a good narcissist. Someone who is sociopathic also having desirable traits. Someone with bipolar but doesnt meltdown and destroy relationships, as with BPD. Good doesn't mean perfect nor does it even mean normal. Good meaning having dark traits but whose traits do not consume all the light. And good means having sufficient level of control so that negative symptoms do not heavily impact the life of the individual and/or those around them.

Responsibility is key. Just think there are psychopaths all around you. You are not alone. You don't hear about them but they exist. All around you. The one thing you probably should remember is you probably don't hear about them because they don't hit the big red button. They don't hit the big red button because they don't have to or want to. Its only those who fail to integrate into society or choose to severe their connection to society who do and they end up being those who fit the negative labels who spend the rest of their lives in prison, are permanently removed and reviled, struggle to maintain relationships, destroy everything around them and ultimately end up alone and forever empty on the inside without opportunities to do what they could have done if they had done things differently.
 
imo_incolae said:
The only solution is to find peace and deal with the cards you have been given. Being a psychopath is nothing rare. Many people are psychopaths and funnily enough, many of them have never received a criminal record and lots of them are in positions of power. Those that aren't are among us anyway and you probably wouldn't notice unless you knew what to look for.

You can manage your shit and live a decent meaningful life. I once read a book written by an acclaimed psychologist whose job it is is to forensically analyze psychopaths. Interestingly his father was a psychopath, which is what put him on the path to learning about psychopathy. Something special that stood out in his book was how many examples he used whereby psychopathy could be integrated with everyday life. In other words, how psychopaths can live good lives and not end up with the stereotyped label of serial killer. His book outlined the most important elements of doing this by describing what is known scientifically about psychopathy and then the applied psychology to implement that knowledge.

Psychopaths can be good guys. Of course, good implying that they are also capable of expressing behaviour that can be extreme and potentially harmful. You could say that people with BPD are terminally sick and their symptoms fatal but that is not the case at all, physical implications of pathology or not (psychopathy is predicated on physical abnormalities in the brain). The same can be said for psychopaths. Although how they are wired is different doesn't mean they HAVE to flick that switch when shit hits the fan.

I mean, you know this already because you haven't committed the ultimate acts of violence on another like the well known pop culture psychopaths like Bundy. Although you talk like you have, there is a difference between idealizing and reality. Doesn't that imply you are capable of restraint and discipline? Therefore, can't this be applied to relationships in your life and anything else for that matter? You just have to want this. And for that that will inevitably involve a journey that will span your entire life into working on yourself, developing and growing and learning etc.

Its going to be hard and you might be better off not mentioning psychopathy unless you want to end up stigmatized and stereotyped all your life. Its probably also best to learn that psychopathy is not something you want to boast about or assume will give you street cred. Understanding that will involve maturity and more self awareness. It will just reinforce any negativity which will then fuel loss of impulse control and make it easier to lose your cool. You are also going to find a lot of people that are not interested, won't go near you and will also do anything to avoid you like crazy. And you can't blame them. Psychopaths don't get a good rating in society.

Its your job to prove you are a good psychopath. Just like someone with narcissism can also be a good narcissist. Someone who is sociopathic also having desirable traits. Someone with bipolar but doesnt meltdown and destroy relationships, as with BPD. Good doesn't mean perfect nor does it even mean normal. Good meaning having dark traits but whose traits do not consume all the light. And good means having sufficient level of control so that negative symptoms do not heavily impact the life of the individual and/or those around them.

Responsibility is key. Just think there are psychopaths all around you. You are not alone. You don't hear about them but they exist. All around you. The one thing you probably should remember is you probably don't hear about them because they don't hit the big red button. They don't hit the big red button because they don't have to or want to. Its only those who fail to integrate into society or choose to severe their connection to society who do and they end up being those who fit the negative labels who spend the rest of their lives in prison, are permanently removed and reviled, struggle to maintain relationships, destroy everything around them and ultimately end up alone and forever empty on the inside without opportunities to do what they could have done if they had done things differently.
Click to expand...
I've read his books too, Kevin Dutton :)
I majored in Psychopathy in my Psychology degree at university.
 
n3ophy7e said:
I've read his books too, Kevin Dutton :)
I majored in Psychopathy in my Psychology degree at university.
Click to expand...
Yes, an excellent writer and well respected researcher. I bumped into his books a while ago. Psychopathy and psychopathology in general are fascinating.

Interesting subject to study. I bet it yields an interesting learning path. Sure beats some mundane subjects you could study in psychology!

Did you bump into Kent Kiehl on your academic reading journey? I found his research into criminal psychopathy really interesting. Just recently he scanned the brain of a serial rapist who according to the checklist hit 99%. Apparently the brain was no different either, having such a brain that was among 1% of the population.
 
imo_incolae said:
Did you bump into Kent Kiehl on your academic reading journey?
Click to expand...
As far as I know, Kiehl, like Hare who he was taught under, only works within the prison system with violent inmates.
Doesn't exactly give a fair representation of psychopaths. Like rounding up all the violent addicts and say "this is what addicts are like".
 
tubgirl.jpg said:
As far as I know, Kiehl, like Hare who he was taught under, only works within the prison system with violent inmates.
Doesn't exactly give a fair representation of psychopaths. Like rounding up all the violent addicts and say "this is what addicts are like".
Click to expand...
I think that's a good observation and you are right. It is just one side of many in a complex subject and you shouldn't conflate this with the entire scope of psychopathy.

That being said, there is correlation. Those with antisocial traits, be them physically related to brain abnormalities or not, still exhibit similar behaviours and are still capable of exhibiting the ones we consider harmful to society. Those with antisocial traits usually exhibit them from an early age (that is also a major criterion in order to diagnose particular disorders in this group also) and so you cannot deny the foundations for these behaviours as already engrained in the individual. Are they criminal though? That depends. The studies into this side though illuminate that possibility and provide a much more detailed account should that be the case, and we have reference to where things CAN go should it go down that route.

You wouldn't deny the possibilities of such behaviours in those with the disorders, but its also not concrete and not guaranteed. I think the criminal element of the field is very interesting and also very important and cannot be denied as beneficial to understanding psychopathy in those that are not categorised as criminal psychopaths.

Other disorders are similar. BPD for example. BPD has extreme potential and while you wouldn't assume everyone is on the extreme end, you also wouldn't refute the knowledge we have of BPD at this polar end of the disorder. Its because we have the knowledge of extreme symptomatology that we have a broader understanding of the condition that is BPD. We don't have to throw people into the extreme box to understand the spectrum of their experiences, but seeing the spectrum is what enables us to understand them better. It would be detrimental if we didn't.
 
imo_incolae said:
That being said, there is correlation.
Click to expand...
I do agree, there is definitely a correlation. But a lot of it could be chalked up as conduct disordered too, especially when you talk about subjects under 25.

imo_incolae said:
Those with antisocial traits, be them physically related to brain abnormalities or not, still exhibit similar behaviours and are still capable of exhibiting the ones we consider harmful to society.
Click to expand...
That is also very true. But I think we as a society are a bit too quick to label people with things like psychopathy (using something like the PCL-R checklist; not brain scans) to explain horrific behavior most of us are capable of, under the right circumstances.
imo_incolae said:
Its because we have the knowledge of extreme symptomatology that we have a broader understanding of the condition that is BPD.
Click to expand...
Definitely. Unfortunately, studies on psychopathy are mainly conducted on criminals. Actually, I can't even think of a single study that isn't done on violent inmates in regards to psychopathy.
 
tubgirl.jpg said:
I do agree, there is definitely a correlation. But a lot of it could be chalked up as conduct disordered too, especially when you talk about subjects under 25.


That is also very true. But I think we as a society are a bit too quick to label people with things like psychopathy (using something like the PCL-R checklist; not brain scans) to explain horrific behavior most of us are capable of, under the right circumstances.

Definitely. Unfortunately, studies on psychopathy are mainly conducted on criminals. Actually, I can't even think of a single study that isn't done on violent inmates in regards to psychopathy.
Click to expand...
Studies are conducted on criminals because it is in the public interest and because they are among a demographic more easily accessible.

All we are changing is the environment in which a person is housed. Someone assigned the status of criminal is largely superficial if we are going off sociological factors. Despite the institutionalized nature of incarceration, aren't we still assessing an individual?

I agree with you though. Research should be more widely conducted. It would fill the gaps. I also don't think it would yield much we don't already know as criminal psychopathy and psychopathy among the general population isn't miles apart. The only difference is the behaviour that leads to criminal convictions and imprisonment. That's a small part of it I feel because much of the meat of the story lies in what culminates in their decisions, and that occurred when they weren't criminals and before they committed their first crime. Then again, you can argue many psychopaths have committed numerous crimes that have not received convictions and/or incarceration, and so aren't you dealing with a criminal psychopath anyway? Just because they haven't been caught (yet) doesn't not make them a criminal.

One thing that stands out for me that reinforces everything you said is how slow the transformation is in how we view disorders like psychopathy towards something more whole and accepting of wider populations. There's still a lot of disorders that aren't recognized and understood. Its taken a long time for mental illness in general to have the persecution and stigma of past understanding removed so we can see mental illness as being not something indicative of all the negative and limiting factors that stalled our progress.

We can always do with more awareness of disorders in the context of everyday life.

I'm interested though to find out what would studies on psychopaths in the general population be like. How would they be different? Wouldn't it be the same? What would be done differently?
 
This is perhaps the most moronic and disingenuous thread ever started in SLR.

This person isnā€™t seeking an answer re: whether he can be successful in his quest to find a female whoā€™ll settle for his bullshit. Instead, heā€™s proudly making claims about his badassery, and bragging about true or fictional past events against women, all while proudly claiming to resemble:

- a gay murderer and cannibal,
- a violent murderer of brunette women, who parted their long straight hair down the middle, and,
- a sexually sadistic murderer of boys + young men, who was a married father of 2, owned 2 KFC franchises, and was a clown for hire at childrenā€™s birthday parties!

@nightranger, please save us the time and spare yourself the energy by not writing additional threads like this.

You are unlikely to find any women, or frankly any real friends, willing to put up with you because you are a self-absorbed douche, who wishes to put forth some sort of vibe of an unpredictably volatile and dangerous man. Making claims about violent behavior is not going to impress others, least of all potential romantic partners. Some introspection would likely go a long way here.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
This is perhaps the most moronic and disingenuous thread ever started in SLR.

This person isnā€™t seeking an answer re: whether he can be successful in his quest to find a female whoā€™ll settle for his bullshit. Instead, heā€™s proudly making claims about his badassery, and bragging about true or fictional past events against women, all while proudly claiming to resemble:

- a gay murderer and cannibal,
- a violent murderer of brunette women, who parted their long straight hair down the middle, and,
- a sexually sadistic murderer of boys + young men, who was a married father of 2, owned 2 KFC franchises, and was a clown for hire at childrenā€™s birthday parties!

@nightranger, please save us the time and spare yourself the energy by not writing additional threads like this.

You are unlikely to find any women, or frankly any real friends, willing to put up with you because you are a self-absorbed douche, who wishes to put forth some sort of vibe of an unpredictably volatile and dangerous man. Making claims about violent behavior is not going to impress others, least of all potential romantic partners. Some introspection would likely go a long way here.
Click to expand...
200.gif
 
schizopath said:
Being funny and trustworthy helps, methinks. Bruises on both for the matching pair!
Click to expand...
I'm glad to see you I was beginning to worry! I don't know if you just don't hang out in the lounge anymore but welcome back I was beginning to wonder if you never emerged from the Arctic winter
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
What?

No.

Of course no (sane) woman is going to be attracted to someone that labels themselves as a 'psycho'.

Women can be attracted to introverts (though not usually), but you need to drop the 'psycho' tag mate...
Click to expand...
I disagree with this. If that was true then why were some of the most prolific serial killers identified as psychopaths married? Many of them capable of long-term relationships? It might comfort people to believe psychopaths can't have relationships or attract partners because of the reputation they have, but it's not true.

Psychopaths are capable of living fairly normal lives and can attract partners. There are also lots of women who are particularly interested in men with certain personas that psychopaths could fit into. The bad boy image, or the tough guy, fighter, warrior, the leader/commander, saviour etc. The roles of these types of personality are extensive in our human history. If you take a personality test and notice personalities with traits comparable to psychopaths, you will find many groups represent roles we see everyday in society. Even narcissists and sociopaths have their roles too. If this wasn't the case then why could guys like Manson attract a whole group of women? Why could Bundy or Rich Kuklinski maintain relationships? Why would the world keep functioning when its been said for a long time we have rulers who possess these traits? Sociopathy, psychopathy, antisocial behaviour traits, narcissism, dark triad traits etc. All part of the fabric of our society.

Also, the fact the partners of mentioned serial killers didn't know anything about their crimes is irrelevant. In fact it proves even more how capable they are of having relationships and attracting partners because whoever they attract sees them from a blank slate. If they don't know then surely that proves the man they married/have been with is capable of also being a husband/partner as well as a serial killer. This blank slate is more than enough for many women. And there will still be lots of women out there who are attracted to the man whose slate isn't blank at all and crimes they are aware of, or at least the man doesn't hide away his less favourable traits.

Probably worth noting that lots of these women who fall into the latter category are no doubt coming from very problematic backgrounds, are victims of abuse and severe trauma, whose family history is dark and no doubt violent and who probably hasn't yet become fully aware of her own complex story and why and how she is attracted to such men in the first place. Still counts as women attracted to psychopaths though, even if the women are essentially victims due to their own back story. Probably not the women you were expecting though as "acceptable" examples but women nonetheless.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top