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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS apathy

I seek out some kind of meaning until I feel something again. It takes a while sometimes, but it does always come back to me.
 
I feel that once I start to do something, the better ill feel. I may have to push myself, but once that initial push is done- doing other things seems to come easier.

So basically, start small and slowly try to build up throughout your day. Even if you don't accomplish everything you wanted to, you still accomplished something :)
 
I force myself to do just one little thing, even if it's just to get up and water my plants or wash a few dishes. Then I realize I feel a bit better now that I'm doing something. It's that initial push that's the hardest though. Recently I started making lists of things I want to do. I thought I didn't have that many desires, but the more I write, the more I realize I want out of life.
 
I find that forcing myself to be active in something can help in the short term, but I've never been able to fully exorcise it.

The worst thing is that it spreads. For example: work right now is boring as hell and the company is starting to come apart at the seams, so I'm trying to care less about what is going on there. Put in my hours, then come home and live my life. But the problem is that since I'm so susceptible to apathy, I usually just get home and veg out. Can't be arsed to do anything. Caring about work isn't an option, though -- down that path lies madness -- but I'm finding that I really have to force myself to keep moving when I get home, or I'm fucked. Hell, even then it seems hollow and pointless half of the time any way.

But things like that usually seem worse when one's in the thick of it. I know this intellectually, but it's tough to remember it when I need to the most. Get up, get moving, pick up that thing that you (used to) love doing that you've put down, get into a different physical space: find a tree, find some grass, find some sun, find some shade, find some water, find some sky.

Or: fuck it all. That's effort.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
You have to get out of the situation you're in that's leading you to feeling apathetic. It doesn't even take too much effort either, which is the amazing thing.
Click to expand...
yep, and the thinking as well=D

Edit: also do as many things that increase dopamine as much as possible, thought patterns create dopamine (fantasizing), meditation, exercise, helping others (if you can find pleasure make it for someone else and this increases dopamine), giving yourself credit for everything you accomplish.. every step and everyday you work towards a new life you should recognize how amazing that is and give yourself a huge round of applause in your head.. yeah i know its sounds nuts, but I now think that doing it any other way is nuts on that note I will give myself a Huge hand.. ahhh and there it is=D), if you don't look for pleasure in life you wont find it, if you don't decide to look at things as being pleasurable they won't be, IMO all of life is how you look at it.
 
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I think I know where you're coming from, bro.

The interesting question is, are you really apathetic? If you came to The Dark Side and made a thread, clearly you care?

I feel like this results from a kind of split-self: part of me cares, another part of me doesn't. And they're squabbling all the time. The one that cares says to the other one, "C'MON, BROTHER, WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO! PEOPLE TO SEE, PLACES TO GO!" And the other one says, "Oh gosh, that sounds like a lot of effort, I'd rather not... :P"

It's a fucking annoying problem.
 
^ there is an insight in that. Perhaps the apathy is a defense mechanism for a very sensitive heart. Sensitive people need to develop ways of taking in the world without building walls but still knowing their own limits and boundaries. It's a tightrope walk that I know very well myself.<3
 
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