Anyway to help friend?

[LocalGuy44]

Brief introduction, I have a person I met several months ago that I'm fairly certain based on my life experience is currently on a path that is steadily declining. I would appreciate any honest feedback on keeping her safe, and any way a friend can work to make things better or atleast not decline. I would also appreciate any input on my assessment of her actions.

I know what my friends that don't understand say, which is to leave things be you can't help someone who doesn't want it. I'm Not certain this individual doesn't want to get help may just need some support. Maybe I'm clueless or optimistic? I know what the research and studies say. What I'm looking for is honest input, or any success stories from someone in a similar spot to mine.

The signs I see that concern me are the textbook ones, going through large amounts of cash, disregard for own well being, not caring about friends, family, etc

Admits to past involvement with substances although to me the needle marks appear recent, ankle swollen similar to a diabetics on the side full of marks on vein, also lots of missing time in life that has funny excuses.

Earlier this year I feel she was close to death and rock bottom, as sent to er with collapsed airway from neck infection, I'm assuming based on bad practice of shooting neck and unclean needle something went bad wrong. Hospitalized for week and released with trach.

I appoligize in advance if this is improperly posted or any info is not considered appropriate. I'm Just looking for any any way if possible to help this person. Thanks for any insight.

LG44

 

[Pill2Chill]

I'm gonna move this to a more appropriate sub-forum, where your thread will get more attention from posters (& mod) who can give you more solid advice than this lot here on DC (myself included.. ).
DC > Sober living

(@mods from sober living; if this isn't the correct subforum I apologize, I'm sure you guys do now where to send it though incase I'm wrong).

Anyway, welcome to bluelight LocalGuy44! I hope you find the information & help you're looking for! I'll leave a temporary redirect in this forum for 4 days, so you won't think your post just vanished.

 

[cj]

Geez she has a tracheotomy? It sounds like you don't really know what drug she is using even though it's obvious she's shooting something. If it's opiates then methadone is the obvious answer. If it's something else then your options are more limited. Even if you could talk her into switching to a safer route of administration it would be a win.

 

[LocalGuy44]

CJ, correct, I don't know as she claims she's not using. Part of my dilemma is how to get through to her and admit there's a problem and get help. In the past it was meth which I found from a mutual friend she was arrested for. I believe given the long periods of awake time I suspect is atleast one of the current vices. I wouldn't be surprised for there to be some heroin in the mix either from some falling asleep I've seen. Or bentos. Again just speculation given my observations. I apologize for less specific answers.

 

[RDP89]

It's gonna be very hard to convince someone to get help if they won't even admit to use. If you can get her to trust you enough to open up about using, you can start a dialog from there, but without that I don't see how you can really do much.

 

[simco]

LocalGuy...is it your sense that she is actively hostile to the idea of getting help? Or is it just that you don't know her stance or she claims she doesn't have a problem? Unless she really does not want help, I think you'd be a good friend by offering (gently) to have her back.

I totally agree with cj, a great place to start would be by trying to help her to change her route of administration, leaving the needles for just about anything else. That might have two nice effects. First, it obviously raises the chance of reducing how much she's hurting herself. Second, it might show her that you have a nuanced appreciation of her situation...you wouldn't come right out of the gate insisting that she has to stop altogether, which is likely to be a deal breaker in the short run--you'd show her that you understand that there are shades of gray in addiction and recovery and that you just want her to be as safe as she's ready to be.

 

[LocalGuy44]

Simco thanks for the input. I appreciate the idea on the approach. I would have to agree to the level of addiction and seriousness of it. While in a perfect world she would use 0, but a reduction and safer use would be better than none. The current needle marks almost look like a scab. Probably 50-100 in a long line almost look like a fingernail scratch about 2" long. Based on my limited knowledge of anatomy and abuse, I'm thinking those are recent? I would imagine old ones would look much like a healed cut or any other injury? Thanks

LocalGuy...is it your sense that she is actively hostile to the idea of getting help? Or is it just that you don't know her stance or she claims she doesn't have a problem? Unless she really does not want help, I think you'd be a good friend by offering (gently) to have her back.

I totally agree with cj, a great place to start would be by trying to help her to change her route of administration, leaving the needles for just about anything else. That might have two nice effects. First, it obviously raises the chance of reducing how much she's hurting herself. Second, it might show her that you have a nuanced appreciation of her situation...you wouldn't come right out of the gate insisting that she has to stop altogether, which is likely to be a deal breaker in the short run--you'd show her that you understand that there are shades of gray in addiction and recovery and that you just want her to be as safe as she's ready to be.

 

[Reanimator13]

If its meth... My cycle was always binge. Then find anything at the end so I could sleep. Repeat. If its meth there is also the smell. You can smell it. I was never a picker but thats always a clear cut sign.

R13

 

[LocalGuy44]

Reanimate Thanks. Meth was my educated guess based on her behavior, and a previous arrest years ago. Haven't noticed any smell, but she is obsessively clean, multiple showers etc. Odd to me as an when I typically read about signs of addiction, you read about caring about things including yourself. It's definitely there as everything else fits, I understand meth can be one of the harder addictions to beat. No picking, I've seen that in some but not her. Definitely a binged as she has the multiple day "disappearances". Does meth use at some point typically have a nodding off to sleep like heroin or is that likely being used maybe to sleep? I've seen the long periods of hyperactivity and lack of sleep then nodding offf. Just curious as to what "it" is ? I agree on your input on meth just thinking.
Thx

If its meth... My cycle was always binge. Then find anything at the end so I could sleep. Repeat. If its meth there is also the smell. You can smell it. I was never a picker but thats always a clear cut sign.

R13

 

[Jabberwocky]

Speculating only dose so much good. I hope you're able to get to a place with her where she's comfortable talking frankly about her drug use with you.

 

[Reanimator13]

Coming down off a meth binge is bad. Your body is wiped but your brain is still going warp 10. I used anything I could to come down. Alcohol, muscle relaxers, benzos, pot. As I got further into it I would make sure I had stuff ready ahead of time for the come down. Multiple showers are sign. I used to sweat alot and shower alot. Meth being sweated out of your body has a very distinct smell. closest thing I can think of is like a musky ferret smell.

Missing days is another sign. Once I was binging I avoided everyone. Would not answer my apartment door. That or drive out to a remote location. Meth makes you paranoid.

TPD made a good point... Talk to her.

R13

Reanimate Thanks. Meth was my educated guess based on her behavior, and a previous arrest years ago. Haven't noticed any smell, but she is obsessively clean, multiple showers etc. Odd to me as an when I typically read about signs of addiction, you read about caring about things including yourself. It's definitely there as everything else fits, I understand meth can be one of the harder addictions to beat. No picking, I've seen that in some but not her. Definitely a binged as she has the multiple day "disappearances". Does meth use at some point typically have a nodding off to sleep like heroin or is that likely being used maybe to sleep? I've seen the long periods of hyperactivity and lack of sleep then nodding offf. Just curious as to what "it" is ? I agree on your input on meth just thinking.
Thx