Intenselife
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2013
- Messages
- 382
Hey, so i'll try to keep this short. I have cut myself off my daily dose of gabapentin by half (it was 1200mg) because it was making me feel very spacy and dreamlike (in a bad way) I did that a few months ago all of the sudden without any problems. Than my other medication seroquel 200mg, i started to take it less and less because i didn't like the oversleeping everyday to feel rested (easily upto 14hours) which is way too much for someone who is only in in their early 20's and has much left to accomplish during this time. I would take it every other day and then sometimes just 3 times a week and less and less to the point where i haven't taken it in a week now. These meds were from my psychiatrist and did not help with my heavy daily anxiety and depression (lack of motivation, hopelessness, always worried about something).
When i had enough of this and found a new psychiatrist who started me on a LOW dose of benzos to be taken daily (that i do not abuse) my anxiety symptoms fairly quickly began to disappear and i could go to job interviews, family events, public etc without over worrying about ridiculous things. Things improved greatly, but only to a certain extent since a lot of my depression and anxiety is also triggered by my current life situation and could improve if i hadn't moved to where i am now, had my old friends etc etc. So on my next visit, i was prescribed adderall ir at a fairly high dose, but instead of taking them daily (the depression, coming down makes me feel worse and wanted to avoid addiction to it) I have been taking 2-3 times a week after playing around with my prescribed dose and realized i couldn't handle the euphoria going away, and the depression greatly increasing.
Although I am not abusing or doing any other drugs at this point (I have in the past tried almost every drug once, but recreationally used others more than some ones). Now i started my new job, which helps a lot from being in a very depressed state of my mind regarding my home life, it keeps me busy and a little bit more motivated even though it wasn't the ideal job i wanted, just until I hopefully (Pray that i do) get accepted, and start nursing school in December. (If i don't i can see another big wave of depression hitting me). Since i have logically thought about what i can do to help lower this depression and anxiety in order to start my new life, the key answer is to graduate with some sort of degree that requires less than a few years (hence i chose nursing) and start my professional my life at a young age, and move to where i want and begin my new life that i dream about every night.
I have been having troubles falling asleep in the past few days unlike when i was taking my gabapentin and seroquel, and although i have managed to avoid a lot of the major withdrawal symptoms that people get from these medications especially when not even properly tapering off, i'm probably almost a full week without either. And even before that week i was only taking the gabapentin and seroquel a few times throughout the week. Although my anxiety is bearable since the potency and non-abuse pattern of the daily low dose benzos, i've noticed after hours of trying to fall asleep (even with nyquil, benadryl sometimes) I wake up pretty late still and when i do it's just i feel something is missing. It's obvious to me jumping off 600mg of gabapentin and 200mg seroquel xr, is definitely going to cause severe side effects (most of them i didn't get somehow thank god) But the depression seems like it's kinda getting a little worse or maybe just coming back (the seroquel and gabapentin helped a little bit with it not a lot, the side effects outweighed the tiny pros)
Now i don't think anyone knows about Dr.reckeweg's homoepathic tinctures because i never saw them here in the united states, but they are used to treat a variety of symptoms (depression,sleep,liver problems,nerve disorders etc etc) And i didn't believe in them since their "homoepathic" and because i never heard of them being used here, but after having tried a certain kind for sleeping problems/depression etc i realized that they are very potent, and can produce very intoxicating effects (can be recreationally used) since they are highly diluted with alcohol, valerian root, chamomile, and a bunch of other natural stuff that i don't remember. While i wait for my paycheck to get that, i don't know if their is anything else that's highly effective in the depression department when i see my psychiatrist next time. (I have to tell him about my discontinuation with the gabapentin seroquel and gabapentin, he will understand although would probably have told me to do a taper to be on the safe side). Is their anything i can ask him about for depression, (I have tried effexor, zoloft, celexa, prozac, vibryd, wellbutrin) And NONE of them worked for my depression and destroyed my sex life. I feel like if i had soma's (carisprodol) or a low dose of opiates (to take only a few times a week, like the adderall) that i could feel better even when not on them. But i don't wanna risk breaking that trust boundary with him since he already prescribed me a low dose of benzos and even adderall.
Are their any other types of depression medications that have been real effective (without the sex drive problem or any other side effects) The only times i feel good is when i take my adderall a few times a week especially with music (makes everything seem so possible, positive, and very intense emotions). But i just want to feel that way or similar everyday and be able to just participate in my old hobbies, i don't have any new friends here and don't plan to etc but i can't even watch the tv shows i used to love, or randomly research things that i used to. It's clear to me, i have real bad depression (since i was very young) and sometimes it's just so emotionally painful but because i realize any addiction or abusing drugs will make it worse i try to steer away from that, otherwise i'd probably be going through my whole script of adderall or searching for drugs, since i'm really at a critical point to make some life changing decisions regarding school (which is my only option to move forward in my life, a salary, ability to move, buy and do what i want etc and i don't wanna fuck it up or make things worse than they already are.)
If this was too long for many of you, if you can kindly just answer the questions in simple sentences.
1) Other than the SSRI'S, are there other types of depression medications (with limited side effects) that are quiet effective in day to day depression.
2) I just don't understand why i had to be stuck with the life i had and didn't chose, and left with so much depression and anxiety from such a young age, and don't want it to get any worse because i'm almost barely 22. Natural chemical imbalances? situations and such that have impacted me mentally?
----Thanks to myself and bluelight/erowid, it has helped me prevent from following a path of heavy addictions, homelessness, and probably way more depressed and anxious. If i didn't know what i know for awhile now, i would of have definitely been addicted to something to numb this daily pain of depression which is what many users do, and I feel their pain. I love meth, heroin, a bunch of pills, but I am aware of how much more problems that would create and am legitimately trying to cure problem without causing more.
-Thanks much love to anyone who bothered to read my mess, it's just when i do post something I tend to go into to much detail.
When i had enough of this and found a new psychiatrist who started me on a LOW dose of benzos to be taken daily (that i do not abuse) my anxiety symptoms fairly quickly began to disappear and i could go to job interviews, family events, public etc without over worrying about ridiculous things. Things improved greatly, but only to a certain extent since a lot of my depression and anxiety is also triggered by my current life situation and could improve if i hadn't moved to where i am now, had my old friends etc etc. So on my next visit, i was prescribed adderall ir at a fairly high dose, but instead of taking them daily (the depression, coming down makes me feel worse and wanted to avoid addiction to it) I have been taking 2-3 times a week after playing around with my prescribed dose and realized i couldn't handle the euphoria going away, and the depression greatly increasing.
Although I am not abusing or doing any other drugs at this point (I have in the past tried almost every drug once, but recreationally used others more than some ones). Now i started my new job, which helps a lot from being in a very depressed state of my mind regarding my home life, it keeps me busy and a little bit more motivated even though it wasn't the ideal job i wanted, just until I hopefully (Pray that i do) get accepted, and start nursing school in December. (If i don't i can see another big wave of depression hitting me). Since i have logically thought about what i can do to help lower this depression and anxiety in order to start my new life, the key answer is to graduate with some sort of degree that requires less than a few years (hence i chose nursing) and start my professional my life at a young age, and move to where i want and begin my new life that i dream about every night.
I have been having troubles falling asleep in the past few days unlike when i was taking my gabapentin and seroquel, and although i have managed to avoid a lot of the major withdrawal symptoms that people get from these medications especially when not even properly tapering off, i'm probably almost a full week without either. And even before that week i was only taking the gabapentin and seroquel a few times throughout the week. Although my anxiety is bearable since the potency and non-abuse pattern of the daily low dose benzos, i've noticed after hours of trying to fall asleep (even with nyquil, benadryl sometimes) I wake up pretty late still and when i do it's just i feel something is missing. It's obvious to me jumping off 600mg of gabapentin and 200mg seroquel xr, is definitely going to cause severe side effects (most of them i didn't get somehow thank god) But the depression seems like it's kinda getting a little worse or maybe just coming back (the seroquel and gabapentin helped a little bit with it not a lot, the side effects outweighed the tiny pros)
Now i don't think anyone knows about Dr.reckeweg's homoepathic tinctures because i never saw them here in the united states, but they are used to treat a variety of symptoms (depression,sleep,liver problems,nerve disorders etc etc) And i didn't believe in them since their "homoepathic" and because i never heard of them being used here, but after having tried a certain kind for sleeping problems/depression etc i realized that they are very potent, and can produce very intoxicating effects (can be recreationally used) since they are highly diluted with alcohol, valerian root, chamomile, and a bunch of other natural stuff that i don't remember. While i wait for my paycheck to get that, i don't know if their is anything else that's highly effective in the depression department when i see my psychiatrist next time. (I have to tell him about my discontinuation with the gabapentin seroquel and gabapentin, he will understand although would probably have told me to do a taper to be on the safe side). Is their anything i can ask him about for depression, (I have tried effexor, zoloft, celexa, prozac, vibryd, wellbutrin) And NONE of them worked for my depression and destroyed my sex life. I feel like if i had soma's (carisprodol) or a low dose of opiates (to take only a few times a week, like the adderall) that i could feel better even when not on them. But i don't wanna risk breaking that trust boundary with him since he already prescribed me a low dose of benzos and even adderall.
Are their any other types of depression medications that have been real effective (without the sex drive problem or any other side effects) The only times i feel good is when i take my adderall a few times a week especially with music (makes everything seem so possible, positive, and very intense emotions). But i just want to feel that way or similar everyday and be able to just participate in my old hobbies, i don't have any new friends here and don't plan to etc but i can't even watch the tv shows i used to love, or randomly research things that i used to. It's clear to me, i have real bad depression (since i was very young) and sometimes it's just so emotionally painful but because i realize any addiction or abusing drugs will make it worse i try to steer away from that, otherwise i'd probably be going through my whole script of adderall or searching for drugs, since i'm really at a critical point to make some life changing decisions regarding school (which is my only option to move forward in my life, a salary, ability to move, buy and do what i want etc and i don't wanna fuck it up or make things worse than they already are.)
If this was too long for many of you, if you can kindly just answer the questions in simple sentences.
1) Other than the SSRI'S, are there other types of depression medications (with limited side effects) that are quiet effective in day to day depression.
2) I just don't understand why i had to be stuck with the life i had and didn't chose, and left with so much depression and anxiety from such a young age, and don't want it to get any worse because i'm almost barely 22. Natural chemical imbalances? situations and such that have impacted me mentally?
----Thanks to myself and bluelight/erowid, it has helped me prevent from following a path of heavy addictions, homelessness, and probably way more depressed and anxious. If i didn't know what i know for awhile now, i would of have definitely been addicted to something to numb this daily pain of depression which is what many users do, and I feel their pain. I love meth, heroin, a bunch of pills, but I am aware of how much more problems that would create and am legitimately trying to cure problem without causing more.
-Thanks much love to anyone who bothered to read my mess, it's just when i do post something I tend to go into to much detail.