I'm being serious for once.
Yeah. You are always going to crave and struggle because you quit for someone else and not yourself. Love is powerful and it will get us to do things we don't want to do to save a relationship. BUT.....you will always resent having to do this to keep a partner that gave you an ultimatum.
Then you are going to have to fight the cravings with everything you have. It's not like a school detention or a night in jail after a DUI.
'Not everyday' is one thing. I have no trouble with not using every day. I haven't used on a daily basis in years now, haven't wanted to, and have honestly never once felt a desire to go back to that. The thing I can't handle is not using AT ALL.
I miss my old blanket as well. It kept me warm and toasty and took all my troubles away. But she was not my friend. She made me do stupid shit for more. Made me untrustworthy to my family. Made me lose jobs. Made me think I couldn't live and function without her.
That my friend is the hardest thing to reconcile. " At all " denotes forever and who the hell wants to go forever without that lovely feeling. In your case you have to be true to the one you love. And although I do hope it last with you and your SO.......if it doesn't then maybe your next partner will be a bit more relaxed in letting you imbibe once a month or so. I was never good with ultimatums and i usually resented the hell out of them.
Exactly, I can't think of my life without an opioid/opiate now, even if once in a while
Asww dear fran, I can relate to that. I remember when my dad took me on a surprise 10 day trip and I had no dope. I was sick during the whole trip haha I even was 90% clean at the 10th day but as soon as the plane landed in lima I was inside a cab on my way to SCOREEEEE. Haha ik ure not dope Ill rn but the mental aspect Is pretty fking rough.
