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Anyone ever gained skills/expertise as a result of addictive behaviors?

Fornax55

Fornax55

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Jun 17, 2010
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To clarify I'm not talking about things that you learned while under the influence (i.e. learning how to repair bikes while on meth, writing poetic autobiographies on heroin) but rather if anyone's ever translated actual addictive behaviors into positive skills?

For example, carpet surfing has really expanded my attention to detail and allowed me to pick out certain patterns and colors amidst tapestries of different colors/textures. Scraping pipes has made me a thorough cleaner and I know when I miss a spot. Even fiending for tobacco has made me an expert at looking through crevices/pockets/small spaces I might have otherwise overlooked.

I imagine dealing with cravings has also fortified my emotional resilience.

Anyone else have any tangible experience turning addictive behaviors into something positive/usable in regular life?

p.s. after rereading this, I wish I was joking. but nope.
 
Guess drugs taught me a lot about the human mind, society and psyche, besides the obvious knowledge about themselves and interest in neurosciences and related topics. None of this is particularly beneficial for my life as I'll never make it to a doc, shrink (ugh) or researcher anymore (not completely sure, I am my greatest enemy and I know of a Romanian ex-sexworker who finished medical study and got a job at a hospital. Didn't manage to hold it tho.)

Resilience - I thought about that and there's something into but would say addictions desolate your mind at a similar rate as the fight with them might make you stronger. Active addicts tend not to be the most stable individuals around. People who overcame a serious addiction might be though, but that tells more something about them than the addiction imo. Best thing is to exercise moderation before falling for substances, easier said than done. Some will tell you everything which doesn't kill you makes you stronger; tend to disagree because an excess of suffering creates depression, grief and bitterness.

Unless I over-used dissociatives, they seemed like the perfect aid for me and might have continued to be such yet that'd then be off-label use, not expertise gaining.
 
It has shed some light at the dark nooks and crannies of the human mind, among other less socially acceptable things.
 
They said I'm good at that but my joints look horrible:ROFLMAO: . Don't like THC (yeah, sadlly as it's the most abundant drug and well tolerated physically) anyways but tried to switch to rolling to avoid the exorbitant costs of smoking but decided it was easier to stop (through switching to snus, e-cigs don't cut it for me).

But indeed I wanna learn keyboard/piano (or guitar but yeah, too much plain exercise, and my target is electronic music anyways. Love crossover mixes though).
 
Oh absolutely. I do feel that my overall intuition about things has improved greatly, but the downside is that I honestly feel like my brain is permanently fried. I feel so incredibly stupid that it blows my mind at times, and I honestly feel like I'm a complete fraud with everything nowadays. But I don't really even care. Yet I still am able to function without anything at all, which means that there's nothing wrong with any of this. Right? But I really do feel like I've become mind bogglingly stupider in some ways like getting all befuddled when I'm counting change and random little "glitches" like that. Nothing serious.
 
LandsUnknown said:
Yet I still am able to function without anything at all, which means that there's nothing wrong with any of this. Right?
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This is the point, yeah. Besides what you tell, negative impact on the user's life, I see nothing bad in using drugs. Much of drain bamage tends to turn out to be tolerance, lifestyle or mentally based, humans are notoriously bad at estimating their own performance and this makes us, or the more sensitive of us, vulnerable to manipulation. If you can achieve something you wouldn't have without drugs, why not. If they just made some boring time fun, why not. But guess we don't need to mention that most of us will have done some more or less seriously stupid stuff while or because of being high. Just that nobody knows whether it at the same time might have saved us (I could well be in jail out of bad impulse control, also nearly went in because of drugs, but I didn't)

One of the few users I know closer in real life says drug people have understood something which others mostly lack. I don't fully get what she means (knows few real addicts either - I changed my mind when I saw some really stupid and reckless people in rehab who had zero insight into their situation and each and everyone of them was there voluntarily) but there might be something into it. At least with psychedelics for sure, I can't talk seriously about religion or spirituality to/with people w/o psychedelic experiences. Non-users always seem somewhat naive, material-centered and.. umm, difficult to explain but I feel we're not on the same level and I myself just got a slight taste of what psychedelics really might offer.

For what it's worth I believe that both Jesus Christ today would get locked up somewhere, if not in psych ward then in Area 51 or wherever, that religions can't really be understood without taking psychoactives into account, and to me the praeastronautics theory is pretty appealing. Before drugs I was atheist, didn't believe that you could leave your body when now I am assured (somewhat) that death is just a transformation and that it's possible to exist free of material boundaries. That possibly long ago already some made it into .. whatever other place and still exist there, free of time and age and that the real sense of life is evolution, but biologic evolution just a byproduct of some weird game which is about reaching the next level.

Some people would feel like they're going crazy off such thoughts and some tell me to stop but it calms me down instead, lol. Just when not taking any drugs for too long, I'll lose all I gained and slip back into that destructive mode which school bullying formed.

@LandsUnknown, how can you be sure that these glitches aren't in reality you realizing more than before, you as an immortal soul which maybe inhabits his own universe without actually knowing it? That doesn't have to be oppositing to other people getting the impression that it was just in your mind. If multiverse theory is true then reality could well be knitted just around us and everybody only seeing what he/she should.. I don't like these people telling that the mind was infinite or sickness wouldn't exist etc.pp. but maybe it's just different words for the same. Belief is ultra powerful.

Began to get interested in religions and myths, not to submit myself to them but to learn more about existence. It's sad that people speaking too openly about stuff outside the mainstream get stigmatized. Hell I know of more than just somebody who made the mistake to talk too loudly about spiritual experiences or to the wrong people and got diagnosed with schizophrenia, forced to take antipsychotics.

But, no, I was stronger before. Just that I wouldn't want to switch back - there's plenty of stuff I'd love to reverse tho. Most of it being wasted time (less so to drugs than with people who weren't worth it and with destruction etc.) and - unfortunately - money. While excess of it doesn't make happy, the lack of it certainly is dysphoric. Sometimes I thought of drugs having taught me empathy but I'm not sure. I'd say they can but you need to want it.
 
I learned about air flow from smoking weed. When I was young I couldn't conceptualize how a bowl with a choke worked when someone was hitting it, first hand experience and the subsequent hyper focused mindset helped me learn.

I learned how quickly a mind can become unstable, something I truly didn't understand in my neat and organized mind, through first hand experience of addiction. Not that the revelation has really aided me, but it's definitely made me more understanding of people's behavior in desperate situations.
 
falsifiedhypothesi said:
I learned how quickly a mind can become unstable, something I truly didn't understand in my neat and organized mind, through first hand experience of addiction. Not that the revelation has really aided me, but it's definitely made me more understanding of people's behavior in desperate situations.
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That's something indeed. Wish doctors and other gods in coats would have experienced this themselves. They'd see the people with other eyes. Sadly most of these who do tend to make a clear distinction between healthy and sick and just ignore that they themselves were on the sick side. As a teen I met a chief doc who drove a Ferrari or Porsche and was a high animal in military besides working as doc. He told me to be a man and take a healthy kick in my ass, and put me cold turkey from 3 months of 3mg lorazepam/d. Was as inpatient with pretty fucked up people, my roommate always thought I'd steal his cigarettes when I didn't even smoke back then. Kept me 5 weeks without any freedom.

Psychiatry indeed taught me to remain calm under any and all circumstances and I'm not alone with that. Would say as much people as react to medicine just play not to have any more symptoms and behave how they want you to behave. Know of somebody who faked dyskinesia for not to get more medicine, etc.pp. it's fucked up. And these docs believe they help people, and put a number in the statistics which brings Pfizer, AstraZeneca & co more billions for the next me-too medicine when the interesting candidates get shelved because possibly the people could ... unspeakable ... actually LIKE the medicine. That mustn't be!

As a teen I had a definite impulse control problem. I never wanted to hurt others as long as they didn't hurt myself but too many suppressed emotions and bad experiences with others which were just looking for trouble / bullies in school. Got me some criminal records. That's gone but by the hard way. Wish they had a softer one but always when I tried to be open about, I got expelled because they were afraid. I'm not exactly physically strong btw, but rage can awake unknown powers in oneself.. :/

From drug users I learned not to trust anybody, not to distrust either but just not give anything which could be of value for them, not to show weaknesses. Which I don't like, to see the soft side of others makes me them more sympathetic but others are different. I get the concept, put yourself at first position and use anything and anyone for your own profit but that's not me. Unfortunately, because I lost quite some money which I'd need urgently. Had some weird ideas like opening a brothel (why not, guess that would have been the better idea), selling drugs (didn't want to be the front guy so took the chance when a friend wanted to sell but she couldn't handle the quick money and realized that you should really be sober when making business, or at least on coke not on oxytocin-empathy bomb deschloroketamine).. or make porn (did some, was before xhamster & co and didn't know how to sell, lost the girl to a seriously notorious psychopath where I still can't understand or believe that the girls fell for him. Ugly, arrogant, and abusive - made contracts over a straw company in New Zealand when he actually worked in Switzerland, promised the girls 6 figure sums and stuff when none of them ever saw a single cent. They'd have to be available for more pr0n or cease any salary, and the first like 2500 go to the guy for costs etc.pp.

He's now got the police after (had been to jail before so hope he'll go again), found online other girls and one of them gathered the others and went to police. Unfortunately such soul fucking stuff isn't priority when they can take low hanging drug user fruits. Fuck that. Should have sold this girl and split the income, would have been better for all. Just that I loved her like I loved all friends. Was too much for me at that time, quit evening school and did more drugs..
 
A lot of my budgeting skills arose from budgeting for beer when I was younger. I’m horrible with money only because I purposefully let it go. I can budget and save like a mother fucker when I’m of the mind set, usually when I’m not using.
 
I used to use stimulants to perform on a higher level, I could totally lose myself in a specific subject for years trying to master IT to such extent that I was very good in applying that information for my own benefit...
 
Igot obsessed with "La Sante Muerte" and started painting- I dont need dope to paint, but thats how I started
 
"Addictive behavior"? "Addictive personality"?

The tendency I have toward addiction has served me well throughout life. The same dedication to a particular drug I can develop also can make me focus on any subject which interests me and learn it through and through. I've been told that I don't have hobbies, I have obsessions.

I have always said that you can't change an addict, you can only change his addiction to something healthy. I'm beginning to realize that I don't want to change. I enjoy getting into subjects in great detail and the capabilities it can bring.

Working as a machinist, due to company politics I was self taught to a large extent. After years on the job, I would sometimes have a co-worker say, "How the f*ck did you do that?". Exhilarating.
 
Fornax55 said:
I imagine dealing with cravings has also fortified my emotional resilience.
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This is great OP! First just to clarify for harm Reduction purposes drugs are not bad, people are and stupid, so be smart and don't get addicted in a first place, read what you will use and test the product, and If you have a sense of being moderate you will not be just locksmith anymore the world will open!

that and with withdrawals which some people say, one close person that I became more mentally resilient and have great self-control- Thank you Psylocybin, Lysergic acid and MDMA!
I even dont have like addictive personality by profesionalls but like wtf? I'm Substance-lover in two words!, I just love that's why I work though job to provide and to pay the rest of my university for now in general we have only basic program meds. but in a less than a year I will choose clinical pharmacology as that's needed here badly, but psychiatry is also my passion!
I wouldn't, ok that's now like metaphysics but surely what I see in some of the friends who I was with I wouldn't be able to write in another language on forum!
Ok some people have talents for languages and everything but I started making connections that you all know with certain things like f.e. petrol vs diesel engine, turbine inside is propeler which reaches 100.000rpm i Think and all the system-IT HAPPENED IN A YEAR OR TWO that larger and larger nuclus acumbens or hipocampus or ok prefrontal cortex....now I would be drinking and talking how Dinamo lost from Milan tragically in some of the local bar!

psychedelics showed me that I can do very much by myself "almost" every mechanic, electric, furniture and kitchen assembled alone! and made walls, ceiling,(with friends dad) 80m2, -heating and water installation,(with friend learning with him, watching, and only ceramic in bathroom I didn't touch, at that time becoming a higher up in job like managing all from logistics to being there for customers, and traveling through Europe(suppliers)!

I wouldn't be able do shit without stimulants and gabapentinoids also psychedelics and mdma were my once or twice a month when someone like Marco Bailey or Carl Cox or Fernanda Martins, I would like to mention one guy I met and he Is one of the best, I just love his music his way of making set and not the only one he's becoming famous just greetings to Matya (that's his stage name without DJ)

I would be alcoholic wreck, fat, I loved alcohol but it didn't loved me back luckily cause we tested why I have hangover 3 days after my friends wasn't...and I gardually stopped when I took first Mdma If i didn't discover world of love, unity, real truth(even though some think drugs are being to blame whaaat?) I again say not everyone is for drugs but obviously everyone are for alcohol in all parts of the world(resspect that)! and the other way around!

I hate those double standards!

Here every year is now like drugs are not that bad, I heard that ecstasy is used to treat people from PTSD( Is that the MDMA you told me) my father and mom to me?

Again I was addicted and still am but again not! cause It's not an addiction here. but i know the truth that I'm physical addicted to buprenorphine and pregabalin! And I don't have time to jump now and it's not a place to bla bla...so I guess I learned to not judge others, controlling my calm vs arouse or fight or flight, learning how to meditate.
Being tough is being mentally resilient, going forward and learning from what and where I can expect obstacles so I avoid them!
 
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Is music an addictive behavior?
Cause I've been an audiophile & music addict my whole life, starting from being a kid.
This of course lead me into trying to make my own. Which caused me to gain a bit of a following & even make some money.
I use to make really crazy music which required a psychotic persona & crazy vocals (hey, I went thru some incredibly dark periods & it was the only way I could express myself). But I was always nervous about performing them in my old house & having the neighbors or anyone walking by hear me. But I discovered that taking benzos got rid of that inhibition & then I was able to do it. This was in my early & mid 20's. I never really got addicted to benzos though & now I take them pretty often (for anxiety/panic) & they don't get rid of my inhibitions like that anymore for some reason (old age?).

I use to use heroin & opioids for exercise & working. Although idk if this counts. I loved working out or running around work doing physical labor while "high" on opioids. This in turned helped me use it to keep in shape & be able to handle work. I also was able to do things I would normally put off (making phone calls, going places, appts, cleaning, etc..) when under the influence of potent semi-synthetics and synthetics. Obviously heroin/opioids did wonders for just about every aspect of whatever mental illnesses plague me. Ever since stopping & remaining on buprenorphine, I've become a shell of myself & being able to handle those things.

I remember once being sleep deprived & incredibly stressed out & I had to drive an hour and a half the next morning to go pick up my mom at the hospital after she had had chemo. I was using meth & still did not feel motivated or in a mental state that would allow me to make the drive without totally flipping out & getting angry because of all the anxiety. But then my buddy helped me get some heroin & that drive the next morning was incredible smooth sailing & I was able to handle it much better than I normally would have. I did nod a little while driving :\ But I remember it just being a serene morning & I felt incredible calm & peaceful despite everything. It also helped knowing I had more heroin at home to come back to. lol Just a random memory from around 2019-2020ish.
 
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