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GottaGo

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 5, 2010
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2
Think of ways to end ones life? I do a fair bit and recently came up with the 'best' way to do it. I am pretty badly allergic to peanuts and remember ingesting things containing peanuts 3 times in my life.

One time I was given a normal looking biscuit and after taking one bite the anaphylactic shock started my throat started to close over, a lot of vomiting followed, after some phenergan I felt better.

The thoughts I was having are something along the lines of buy a packet of biscuits containing peanuts and some Emetrol (medicine to relieve vomiting) eat them both and see what happens.

Should this sort of thought scare me? It feels comforting to know there is possibly an easy way to end it.
 
GottaGo said:
One time I was given a normal looking biscuit and after taking one bite the anaphylactic shock started
Click to expand...

Not nice, was it.

Scary shit that shit.

Not going to discuss the best ways to exit, just don't man. You are ripping yourself off.

Regards.
 
The thought SHOULD scare you, but i can totally understand why it's comforting. I've had times in my life where the thought that only I could decide when to end it, really comforted me. It's a sort of safeguard, making sure that if you run into endless suffering you CAN end it. Just remember that this will probably turn into suicidal ideation sooner or later if you don't do something about your life to fix it, whether it be drugs or some other part that's causing you trouble.

Take care :)
 
These thoughts should scare you because when your down far enough that you start thinking of different ways to off yourself you should get help. I lived like that for along time and came close to killing myself but thankfully never went through with it. It's really bad when you ish you wiould die so you don't have to finish the job yourself :(

All i can say is get some help and please don't fucking off yourself. Even talking to someone about your problems can help. So does working on them with a psychiatrist or other mental health professional.
 
For one, that would be horrible way to die! Secondly, no matter how you feel now LIFE IS WORTH LIVING and I promise your life has meaning and worth. Why would you want to end your life? I'm certain you are a good person and there are people that would be devastated to lose you. Take care my friend and email me ([email protected]) if you need someone to talk with. :)
 
I've thought about it yes... I've done and thought a lot of horrible things, but what is important is that I get past the fucking illusion of how horrible the world and I are and make something positive happen. Just go out and do something nice for someone els. Trust me. Go buy a hobo some food or something.

Its not real man. Its thoughts affirmed by an emotional pain. When those thoughts are transformed and the emotional pain finally released, why would you want to die?

If I can stick around, and fucking PA who I know personally been through hell too, can stick around then you can too :) Gota find that balance though! and be tough as nails!!!
 
It should not be done.

But, the most painless would possibly be a heavy dose of lethal depressants and alcohol and stand on a trainline. The train won't even seem real.

Make sure its the high speed line and you're on a bend if possible. Then the reaction time of the driver is minimised.

But seriously, don't do it man !!!!
 
I think about it quite a lot. Trouble is, almost all methods of suicide have the potential to go wrong. If you try to hang yourself, you may just break your neck and be paralysed for the rest of your life. If you shoot yourself in the head you may survive but become permanently brain damaged. If you overdose, you might just fuck up your internal organs. Anaphylactic shock sounds like a horrible way to die... I definitely wouldn't consider it an easy way out. :\
 
I'm gonna take an opposite stance by saying no the thoughts shouldn't scare you.

Does being alive make you happy? No not really you're just alive and don't really get HAPPY about it.
Death after all is just as natural as being alive. Freuds the one who intially said people always have a survival instinct and death instinct naturally oscillating through most of their life so I believe its perfectly normal to contemplate death.

People fantasize about how their relatives would act, how bad they would actually be hurt, and what kind of impact their death in general would have.
When you're depressed its just as normal to go over rituals in your head of how to kill yourself.
I mean at one point in my life I think I did this everyday for a couple years straight and it actually became an OUTLET to not kill myself. For some reason by thinking about death it does liberate you a bit from depression knowing there IS an escape.

Most people ethically don't support suicide, niether do I, but I still think what you're doing is completely normal and that a shrink would tell you the same thing. I do also agree with others that the particular method you're contemplating WOULD be a TERRIBLE way to go out. So the fact that you've haven't thought it out that much to understand it would in fact be painful shows me you haven't really thought THAT MUCH about it.

I think anyone who was seconds away from suicide would have figured out that allergic reactions would be the last on the list to pick in terms of comfort. Since there are so many common sensical painless ways to die I'll refrain from talking about that either.

I don't think this thread mirrors intent and I just want the OP to be comfortable with his thoughts even if they ARE about suicide. Only because it was so natural for me to think about myself and for whatever reason I think being able to think about it actually helped me in the long run rather than being scared of an idea that hasn't happened yet.

Good luck and all I can say is on a long enough timeline for most people life IS worth living. Just that people seem to have an easier ability to remember bad memories over good ones. And I think its becauses humans are innately somewhat selfish and just EXPECT good things to happen. When bad things happen we feel wronged, but we never realize thats the literal price you pay to enjoy the sweet things in life.

If we didn't have those extreme lows in life by contrast we wouldn't value the extreme highs to the extent we do. If you just went through your life getting smacks on the back of the hand everytime something terrible was suppose to happen then when something real good happened you wouldn't even appreciate it.

Thats the balance of life I guess.
 
I spose I would sorta like those close to consider it being an accident, so their minds are more at ease then to know it was intentional. If this method is most likely to make them believe that, its the way im leaving. I'm seeing my psych next week.

Thanks for replys, Draigan I will try doing something for someone else even if it is buying a hobo food, for now im taking refuge inside because venturing out seems to scare me and make me anxious.
 
I have a cousin who almost died from a similar allergy. I watched him go into anaphylactic shock and it was one of the most frightening, gruesome things. I really don't think that would be a pleasant way to die whatsoever. Any way you can come up with to commit suicide isn't going to be pleasant. Hang in there and weather the storm, it will eventually break.

I agree with the advice to do something nice for someone else. When I was in a very dark place myself, I decided to volunteer at a local soup kitchen. I had worked there previously because I had some community service hours to do :\

If nothing else, the place makes you realize your life isn't all that bad. I did start to feel more positive about my life, and hopefully I helped some of the people I had conversations with. Most of them were very interesting people to talk to.

Just force yourself to get out. Even little things like holding a door for someone can elicit a smile which can turn your mood around a bit.
 
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