i wish i can have the confidence like on drugs. it seems weird to say but drugs give me the best confidence and its no good because that is not reality. i have improved my confidence by being sober but sometimes i wish my brain had the confidence like on drugs. anyways my real question is how do you avoid the friend zone?
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
anyone else wish they had the confidence
- Thread starter drug100
- Start date
I think this topic would of probably been covered in another thread, but I'm new so not too sure.
There is a fine line between confidence and ignorance. If you wanna know how to avoid the friends zone there are plenty of dating gurus you can learn from online, just don't get conned into spending any money on info, most of the best info is free and can be found right here(seriously). And the best way to learn is through trial and error.
There is too much to cover, but I can tell you what not to do
dont be overly nice, dont act feminine, dont buy them stuff, dont be too emotional, dont drop your life or friends for them, dont give them too much attention, dont be a wuss.
There is a fine line between confidence and ignorance. If you wanna know how to avoid the friends zone there are plenty of dating gurus you can learn from online, just don't get conned into spending any money on info, most of the best info is free and can be found right here(seriously). And the best way to learn is through trial and error.
There is too much to cover, but I can tell you what not to do
dont be overly nice, dont act feminine, dont buy them stuff, dont be too emotional, dont drop your life or friends for them, dont give them too much attention, dont be a wuss.seriously thank you very much. this makes perfect sense. no more mr nice guy. of course i won't become an abuser but now i get it how to avoid the friend zoneI think this topic would of probably been covered in another thread, but I'm new so not too sure.
There is a fine line between confidence and ignorance. If you wanna know how to avoid the friends zone there are plenty of dating gurus you can learn from online, just don't get conned into spending any money on info, most of the best info is free and can be found right here(seriously). And the best way to learn is through trial and error.
There is too much to cover, but I can tell you what not to do
Dude confidence is just one step. Once you no longer have any fear of social situations, ie, speaking in front of lots of people, approaching people you dont know etc etc, you realize oh fuck.. what do i do now. Anyone can be confident, its actual being genuinly cool and of good character that people lack, and you cant just 'learn' that shit online.
BeachBum4u
Bluelighter
You know, most of those guys who hold themselves out as pick-up experts or dating experts, whatever...almost always tell you to approach women like you don't give a shit and basically treat them with indifference. They claim it works but people will be who they are and I feel like most are not built that way. I mean, what's wrong with treating a lady like a lady. What you can't have is a fear of failing. It's bound to happen and can't rule your life. Just go out and meet as many women as you can and stay loose. You'll find your way and things will work out just fine. Not all women want assholes treating them like shit, but the funny part is that some apparently do. Go figure!
Hmm. Well, the best advice i can really is that.. its good to speak your mind, how you feel, and so forth.. but dont let that dictate or stop others from speaking there mind or how they feel. Never be too over-powering, or too weak, its a fine balance. If you are having a convo with someone and you have spoken for 5min strait and they have almost not said a word, your fucking up. Being unique and not being scared to be, being honest and compassionate... simple things like picking up a piece of litter and putting it in a nearby bin will impress a girl more than you would think, as an examplee. If you can just think for a minute.. whos really cool, then think, what makes them cool, and how can that relate to ME being cool.
For example, to me being smooth is really cool. As in, the opposite of being a badly spoken, clumbsy person. The ability to not become flustered, no matter how crazy shit is. Maybe to some people thats not cool, and thats fine.. cause they probably think things are cool that i dont, too
but he lacks confidence so he can't just flick a switch and be like this.For example, to me being smooth is really cool. As in, the opposite of being a badly spoken, clumbsy person. The ability to not become flustered, no matter how crazy shit is. Maybe to some people thats not cool, and thats fine.. cause they probably think things are cool that i dont, too
it seems that a common answer to the question "how can i be more confident?" is "you just have to be more confident!". can you see that is circular and doesn't answer the question at all?
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
alasdair
tokenname
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2012
- Messages
- 2,056
alasdair,
I completely understand what you say.
Would you agree that there is no magical or practical advice as to how to tell someone to be more confident?
The only plausible answer I can imagine is to take a good look at himself, find what it is that makes him who
he is, and realize he is the only one who has the honor to be him.
There is something in each of us that makes us extremely
worthwhile, and we have to embrace it, and be proud of it.
But it's an individual choice to do so.
It's like getting clean. As many times as someone who cares could say to you..this is the best thing for you..I believe in you..you're better than this..
Until that person comes to the realization on their own, that it is more than worthwhile and purposeful to believe in themselves,
and then makes the choice to feel the confidence that comes with that decision..true confidence won't be found.
token
I completely understand what you say.
Would you agree that there is no magical or practical advice as to how to tell someone to be more confident?
The only plausible answer I can imagine is to take a good look at himself, find what it is that makes him who
he is, and realize he is the only one who has the honor to be him.
There is something in each of us that makes us extremely
worthwhile, and we have to embrace it, and be proud of it.
But it's an individual choice to do so.
It's like getting clean. As many times as someone who cares could say to you..this is the best thing for you..I believe in you..you're better than this..
Until that person comes to the realization on their own, that it is more than worthwhile and purposeful to believe in themselves,
and then makes the choice to feel the confidence that comes with that decision..true confidence won't be found.
token