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Anyone else stuck in the never ending cycle of rehab and sober livngs?

T

Tr1p

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 16, 2005
Messages
168
GOD DAMNIT!!

I'm fucking 20 years old and I just got released from my 5th fucking rehab. I feel like I'm on a fucking rehab tour of America. I've been to ones in Connecticut, Florida, now I'm in Cali.

There's just this fucking depressing cycle of rehab, AA meetings, sober livings, then relapse. Fuck.

Better make this one work before my life really goes down the shitter. I just HATE being around other fucking drug addicts all day. All we do is talk about drugs, it's like it's impossible to get away from this bullshit.

Anyone else relate?? I better make this one fucking work.
 
ive got a... unique history with rehabs. But i can relate with that cycle. It is a fucking viscous cycle. I have learned this though, you dont need to quit. Nor do you need to do drugs. You just need balance. If its mandatory rehab, play along. If you want to be sober, distance yourself from people when they are using.
 
I feel you there. I have only been to rehab once, but "detox" several times... Luckily never court ordered, well, actually one detox was a forced situation once my dad called the cops on me. He will fucking get it one of these days, that's for sure. 2 weeks in forced detox in a psych ward while i'm forced to go to group meetings with all these kids that want to kill themselves or are bipolar schitzo affected or have some other mental illness, and then there was me, who couldn't be more different than your standard psych ward patient.

The fucked thing was, that I ended up detoxing at the same hospital that was prescribing me the drugs for a legitimate chronic pain condition. Basically my Dad had a breakdown and used his pull to get the doctors to do all they could to hold me to evaluate me and try to find something. So once they did a suboxone detox there was nothing more they could do to keep me. Fuckers.

Sorry, I'm still really really pissed about that one. Can anyone relate?
 
Tr1p said:
I just HATE being around other fucking drug addicts all day. All we do is talk about drugs, it's like it's impossible to get away from this bullshit.
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War stories of addicts at meetings and elsewhere can easily be more about celebration and thereby longing for the days when people used with abandon.

No one can really tell another person what will work for getting past drugs, especially as general advice on the web. I'll put out that maybe the OP could use a non-drug related cause. Some personal mission that is not about moving away from drugs or moving towards them but about moving towards a completely different direction.

For one person that could be writing a novel, another it could be involving themselves in social justice, and another having a house and a garden. When the totality of ones life is a fight against addiction one will slip at some point and be reconsumed by a passion for drug use.

Not putting down meetings, support, and focus about addiction recovery, just I think I'm hearing from you something I think is important for me and others. Life can not be all about drugs or all about drug recovery. It takes more including somethings that are plain drug neutral. An epic battle between drug use vs vigilant abstinence is drudgery and despair without some other purposes and even some amusements or passtimes that are neutral about drugs vs sobriety.
 
I think the whole "rehab" method that is used is just plain old wrong. People can't be forced to change, and when they think they want to change, it doesn't happen over night that they have the strength to stick with it. It should be more of a thing where they notice how many times they SAY they want to stop being addicted to this shit and then write the reason WHY they were triggered to say that. ONCE They start to have a pattern THEN they can really change.
 
Enki makes a lot of good points. The usual 12-step rehab approach is not necessarily the optimal method of treatment for all individuals. If going to meetings and shaping one's life around staying off of drugs is not fulfilling or for a person, then it may be difficult to maintain that sort of lifestyle over time. On the other hand, for many it provide the structure and routine that they need in order to stabilize and have an instant support system.

Either way you can still make the most of the rehab if you are motivated to stop using drugs. I personally disagree with the concept of unquestionably taking all suggestions that are given, because much of what I was told in rehab was shown to be incorrect either based on my own experience of based on scientific research once I started to do some reading. But some it was true too. So being able to take in the useful insights and change certain beliefs can be very helpful while also staying true to who you are.
 
Every rehab Ive gone to war stories were strictly forbidden. I too feel as if I'm stuck in a pretty shitty cycle for the past years which leads me to believe I can never get out of this. Sometimes (most of the time) I feel as if I'm doomed to constantly repeat the same mistakes unless I'm locked away somewhere that I hqve no ability to use

Despite all that I try to remember that for the first 14 years of my life I didn't have any of these problems, and if I was able to do it then I can do it now
 
Wolfman, does your avatar flip upside down for a split second, or am I fucking insane?

Also, i am in this cycle currently, although with my current mindset I am telling myself I will never goto rehab again as its completely pointless. Once youve been to rehab a couple times you pretty much know what to do to stay sober, and in the end it all comes down to will power anyway.

I know a lot of people in AA/NA will try to brainwash you by saying your powerless and all that hooplah, but that is so far from the truth. In the end, ALL you have is your willpower. I dont give a shit if your 20 years sober and goto AA meetings every night, that is because you have the willpower to not use drugs and continue going to meetings.

God does not heal our drug addiction, nor do other people or meetings or anything besides yourself. Drugs are extremely selfish, and making the choice to use or not use them is always a personal decision you make. Thats just how i look at it anyway.
 
I can relate to the rehab cycle.

I have been court ordered to go to 2 inpatient rehabs and NA/AA meetings. I also lived at a sober living home and did outpatient 4 days a week for 4 months. It seemed like I got worse at those places bc I ended befriending addicts and ppl looked to me to cop drugs or use drugs with them. I ended up getting addicted to cigarettes at rehab.

I agree with Enki, that having opportunities that aren't drug focused can be more helpful. I dont know what u are into but here is an organic farm internship site http://attra.ncat.org/attra-pub/internships/ (I did it and loved it). You can plant trees in the Yukon. I played poker, mushroom hunted, played boardgames, did plant identification, some I found from meetup.com -- point is, these activities and going back to school provided me with an opportunity to connect with people who are not into drugs.
 
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