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Anyone else have problems reaching an orgasm?

lyricaboi

lyricaboi

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 17, 2020
Messages
24
So, umm, I've been in multiple relationships and I've always lasted long in the bed (slight flex but true)
I find that the older I get the harder it is to reach orgasms with other people. if I'm alone I can rub one out quite quickly but for some reason with another person it is really difficult.

I haven't had an orgasm during sex for 2½ months now.

I wonder if part of it is due to my ex, she refused to eat BC or use condoms and always tried to get me to cum inside her as she wanted kids and I didn't (hence why ex)
My current partner eats BC but I just..can't. No matter what she does, no matter if I've had a no fap for a while, if I've been sober, if I'm not sober - nothing seems to work and I know it stresses her out.

I also feel that I might have a less sensitive penis than others or something cause like said I have always lasted for a long time and I don't quite understand what all the hype is about regarding sex.
Oral, anal, handjobs, vaginal - none of it feels that special and honestly I'd usually rather have a huge blunt than fuck for an hour or two..Unless I am on pregabalin.

Idk, maybe my gf is loose, maybe I have a tiny dong, maybe I've wanked myself to ruins or just used too much drugs.

It is frustrating though as she says I have less libido than her when all I am thinking about is spraying her everywhere <__<

Anyone else struggling with similar issues?
 
^^^Bat Cum, said to be an aphrodisiac. Good shit too, gives me a raging hard on. (Birth Control)

I did when I was younger. Like you it was nice, I could fuck for hours and not cum. But I learned over time that it was likely because my reward center was all fucked up from drug use.

I just read another post by you that said you feel burnt from lyrica use, this may be to blame.

Psychedelics and empathogens have re-wired me and now I’m more “normal” lol.

-GC
 
I find that the older I get the harder it is to reach orgasm simply because it's far too much fuckin effort for a man of my age. I'd rather lie back and get ridden/blown/wanked, then I have no problem. Just don't ask me to bloody move...
 
Crackedout420 said:
What is "eating BC"??
Click to expand...
Birth control

G_Chem said:
^^^Bat Cum, said to be an aphrodisiac. Good shit too, gives me a raging hard on. (Birth Control)

I did when I was younger. Like you it was nice, I could fuck for hours and not cum. But I learned over time that it was likely because my reward center was all fucked up from drug use.

I just read another post by you that said you feel burnt from lyrica use, this may be to blame.

Psychedelics and empathogens have re-wired me and now I’m more “normal” lol.

-GC
Click to expand...
I had this issue before I ever had lyrica, but it has gotten "worse"

F.U.B.A.R. said:
I find that the older I get the harder it is to reach orgasm simply because it's far too much fuckin effort for a man of my age. I'd rather lie back and get ridden/blown/wanked, then I have no problem. Just don't ask me to bloody move...
Click to expand...

Lucky I'm still young enough to have energy for an hour or two but I definitely enjoy some rewarding blowjobs.

Thanks all by the way, this feels like a good community.
 
I'm not quite sure what the point is. I learned the hard way in my last relationship to take birth control. Didn't have a kid though. Lasting a long time isn't all it's cracked up to be. I was with a guy who lasted way too long and at some point, you just want it over with.

Relationships suffer when one partner has a much higher libido than the other. One ex didn't want sex enough and the other wanted it too much. Haha Couldn't win.
 
When not taking meth I have the opposite problem if wearing a condom - 3 pump chump. Without a condom I seem to be able to control myself adequately to keep my partner happy. When taking meth I can’t come at all. In all cases I note that bareback with a partner I know well and care about produces best results.

Interesting I don’t really care about cumming so much (especially on drugs) so long as my partner has a good time. I enjoy the drugs I’m on, she enjoys my playful enthusiasm for getting her off (extended pussy eating a typical meth-based obsession).

I suspect communication, negotiation and maybe experimentation the key to resolving the problem for OP
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
Relationships suffer when one partner has a much higher libido than the other. One ex didn't want sex enough and the other wanted it too much. Haha Couldn't win.
Click to expand...

This.
My ex was addicted to computer games and treated having sex as some kind of a special ritual that happened every now and then.
She got vaginal orgasms and didn't particularly want sex often, what a waste in a way (cause a lot of women don't have that joy)
She also got nipplegasms..
I also came easier with her. But she thought blowjobs (no matter how shaven and washed) is just "humiliating towards a woman" but it's okay for her to ask me to eat her out after she hasn't showered for 2 days :oops::rolleyes:

With my current GF she wants sex way lot more than I do, I kinda feel like a failure cause I rarely cum and I know it makes her feel like there's something wrong with her even though there isn't - we do so much things, she even loves anal.
I suppose my redeeming quality is that I always listen to my partners in bed so even if I can ram it for hours I'll of course stop as soon as the other person is sore or just wants a cig break or whatever, we have a tendency to do our thing, take a break for drink/smoke, continue.
She can take it for surprisingly long though, usually I tire first.

Atelier3 said:
When not taking meth I have the opposite problem if wearing a condom - 3 pump chump. Without a condom I seem to be able to control myself adequately to keep my partner happy. When taking meth I can’t come at all. In all cases I note that bareback with a partner I know well and care about produces best results.

Interesting I don’t really care about cumming so much (especially on drugs) so long as my partner has a good time. I enjoy the drugs I’m on, she enjoys my playful enthusiasm for getting her off (extended pussy eating a typical meth-based obsession).

I suspect communication, negotiation and maybe experimentation the key to resolving the problem for OP
Click to expand...

I too don't feel that sex is just about orgasms, it's about vulnerability and being close to your partner.
I have a kink for getting my partner off as well, so I eat that ass, pussy, play with vibes etc.
It's not that I care too much about blowing my load but if your partner is begging for you to cum on her face and you can't and it happens a lot it is a bit frustrating for everyone involved sadly.

For the record I'm not on any daily medication, I do take a big dose of pregabalin 3-6 times a month.
Sometimes I slip and it's more like 10 times in a month but not my fault doc prescribed so much of it, it is kind of a tease always having a bottle of them nearby.

I wish MXE was still around sigh
 
lyricaboi said:
, I kinda feel like a failure cause I rarely cum and I know it makes her feel like there's something wrong with her even though there isn't - we do so much things, she even loves anal.
I suppose my redeeming quality is that I always listen to my partners in bed so even if I can ram it for hours I'll of course stop as soon as the other person is sore or just wants a cig break or whatever, we have a tendency to do our thing, take a break for drink/smoke, continue.
She can take it for surprisingly long though, usually I tire first.
Click to expand...

You sound like a lover most women would be happy with. Even though I am totally about honesty when it comes to sex I admit that I sometimes fake cumming (when high) if it is taking too long and I can’t do it. Some of my partners have taken it as an insult if I don’t cum - so I just think of it as being polite to make like I have.
 
Atelier3 said:
You sound like a lover most women would be happy with. Even though I am totally about honesty when it comes to sex I admit that I sometimes fake cumming (when high) if it is taking too long and I can’t do it. Some of my partners have taken it as an insult if I don’t cum - so I just think of it as being polite to make like I have.
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Thanks, nobody has complained so far and have heard that from ladies before.
I could never fake an orgasm though because if that was done to me I'd get a little bit sad, but yeah girls sometimes get the whole "omg something is wrong with me I must suck in bed" and I'm like, no I just have difficulty of getting an orgasm with another person.

Sometimes I feel like I'm having an orgasm "in my head" though, if that makes any sense, like feeling the climax but just no cum, have tried to explain that to partners before but sometimes people don't understand or think I'm just saying something to make them feel better

Might have something to do with my past (abuse and such) so perhaps I never fully let go and be completely relaxed..
Then again, I have offered my ass for toys and such so I feel like I am pretty free spirited in bed, not a lot of things I'd say no to especially cause I am stocked with lube (I even got salted caramel flavor one that is actually good)
I need to learn how to use my ropes though, cuffs are much easier.
 
Out of interest, have you ever really been into porn and masturbation alone?

I’ve been reading a bit about how drugs + porn + wanking = eventually not able to climax with real loving person
 
Atelier3 said:
Out of interest, have you ever really been into porn and masturbation alone?

I’ve been reading a bit about how drugs + porn + wanking = eventually not able to climax with real loving person
Click to expand...
Well, yes. I'm not the most attractive dude and I am socially awkward most of the time so I spent a lot of my teen years fapping.
I still do it sometimes, but I don't like use the DEATH GRIP and I've tried to also cut it off cause I thought it might affect.
Also sometimes I just use my imagination, when I was younger I also read a lot of erotica online instead of just watching porn cause I thought imagination is better

I like amateur porn though and I think my gf has "porn curves" so I do find her attractive, I guess my ex just really fucked me up with the whole trying to get forcefully pregnant, I know my current one would never do that but still.

We used to watch porn together sometimes cause we had a smaller apartment and laptop was near bed, it was just there for inspiration, my GF doesn't "hate" porn but never watched it herself (she didn't need to masturbate much cause Tinder exists)

Edit: I'd like to thank everyone for participating in this conversation because I feel like it helps and it's good to talk about it, I have talked about it with her a lot obviously but it's good to get other people's thoughts as well <3

Double Edit: Also I've found that I cum a lot easier in the mornings but usually she wakes up first and doesn't wanna wake me up cause she knows I have a lot of sleep issues and on weekdays she has to rush to uni and stuff.
 
No i learned to orgasm in different ways. If you know meditation practices you know what i'm talking about. I have gone fucking 4 or 5 hours straight before the girl said she was getting numb, and one time she missed her period because i'd kept on so long. You do build up stamina. Think of it like running. Same deal, different turf, lol ;)
 
Atelier3 said:
Out of interest, have you ever really been into porn and masturbation alone?

I’ve been reading a bit about how drugs + porn + wanking = eventually not able to climax with real loving person
Click to expand...
.
When you've got drugs and porn and wanking, who needs a real person? :ROFLMAO:
 
To be honest, as of yesterday I think the novelty of marathon meth-wanking porn (&/or hooker) sessions has finally worn off for me. I've noticed that for several days later I still can't cum and its all become a bit boring. I'm trying to find more useful/interesting/stimulating things to do with this drug. Or possibly stop taking it altogether. Although I've said that before...
 
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