michael6120
Bluelighter
I'm scratching my head over the idea of lightly splurging with meth again. It's been 4-5 years since I last had a smoke.
I dont know if I'm making excuses or not, but after having a few years to look back there are many things I would of done different which I am in a position to do so now. I guess life itself is an entire learning experience.
These days I am in a position where I am on the same income but working fewer days, I have a solid 3/4 days off in a row each week now. In the past I would try cram my use into a 5-6 working day week and it was just idiotic, therefore it affected my work life with the fatigue.
I would always smoke first thing at 10-11pm and instantly lose a nights sleep. If I did it again I would always aim for use first thing in the morning.
In the past I would score some product and have to "get into it" as soon as I got home. I've actually had some product around for a few weeks and havent come close to pulling it out. With my alcohol and weed I have stuck to disciplined use and making promises to myself and keeping them. The big one for me was powdered speed, years gone by once I started I had to go hard and go ALL night...(just like the crystal) but now I can have 1 line at say 8pm and not touch it again and be in bed by 2am.
I am definitely disciplined lately with all my other substances and I feel I have control over it all.
But crystal is so much more powerful and I still worry thinking about how it controlled myself years ago, like all the other drugs I mentioned although I tamed everything else. But this is next level..
Anyone else here managed to stay disciplined with use? Or am I kidding myself? If you think I'm kidding myself please tell me and I'll stay clear if the numbers are clearly against me.
I dont know if I'm making excuses or not, but after having a few years to look back there are many things I would of done different which I am in a position to do so now. I guess life itself is an entire learning experience.
These days I am in a position where I am on the same income but working fewer days, I have a solid 3/4 days off in a row each week now. In the past I would try cram my use into a 5-6 working day week and it was just idiotic, therefore it affected my work life with the fatigue.
I would always smoke first thing at 10-11pm and instantly lose a nights sleep. If I did it again I would always aim for use first thing in the morning.
In the past I would score some product and have to "get into it" as soon as I got home. I've actually had some product around for a few weeks and havent come close to pulling it out. With my alcohol and weed I have stuck to disciplined use and making promises to myself and keeping them. The big one for me was powdered speed, years gone by once I started I had to go hard and go ALL night...(just like the crystal) but now I can have 1 line at say 8pm and not touch it again and be in bed by 2am.
I am definitely disciplined lately with all my other substances and I feel I have control over it all.
But crystal is so much more powerful and I still worry thinking about how it controlled myself years ago, like all the other drugs I mentioned although I tamed everything else. But this is next level..
Anyone else here managed to stay disciplined with use? Or am I kidding myself? If you think I'm kidding myself please tell me and I'll stay clear if the numbers are clearly against me.