any of these things.

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

Did you ever feel as lost as me
to where you can't see
What direction you should be going in?

Sometimes I'm a writer...
mostly at a lost for words
with tear-soaked cheeks
sitting behind this fucking screen
and the people who read...
know me,
better than I fucking know myself
lately.

I'm a girl to a father
who drank himself to death.
I'm a girl to a mother
who I've hardly even met.
I'm a girlfriend to this boy
who used to walk all over me-
treat me like shit,
until I almost left.
He's changed his ways though.
He really did.
Took him six fucking months to prove it.

There's this dive bar where I serve drinks
five fucking goddamn days a week.
My customers seem to like,
my sarcastic humor and wit...
They sit here for my WHOLE fucking shift.
Get sloppy drunk- leave no tip.
And they honestly think I enjoy this.

Sometimes I am a musician.
I just miss a chord here and there.
Once in D.C. I was waiting for a bus-
so I thought I'd play to pass sometime.
People gave me some change they could spare.
Like I needed their fucking dollar....
I'm working, I'm blue collar
just like the rest of you fucks.
(although, i did make fifty bucks)
And I realized,
that was the closest I'd get
making money through song.

Sometimes I am a photographer.
I even bought my own enlarger.
And a mess of other junk
to build my own darkroom.
I find myself avoiding it,
but hopefully I'll find motivation soon.
Honestly,
I can't really find motivation in anything.
Lately.
I can't really seem to find myself.

In any of these things I do.

 

[Chaotic Action Man]

wow.

the first and second-to-last stanza's sum up exactly where i was last night. it got so bad, all i could do was curl up into a ball and fall asleep. leaving a ton of unfinished work that is going to come and get me tomorrow.

"Did you ever feel as lost as me
to where you can't see
What direction you should be going in?"

"...I can't really find motivation in anything.
Lately.
I can't really seem to find myself.

In any of these things I do."


i can relate to so many things in this poem, not just these two stanzas. when my father died, i was thirteen. my mother proceeded to drink herself through the next decade. but tis not about me...it is about you. once again i can only thank you for letting us (me) glimpse into your life through these writtings.

the rawness of emotion that pours out of your words, and the way within you construct it, is spellbinding.

 

[cherub]

Written very rawly but i like it. It fits,,,, not all open written raw words do with poems but I like the way you had this one written.

Good work girlie ~

 

[CrYsTaLe]

wow, one of my friends told me to check out your work cause it's good and it truely is...not everything is rainbows and gumdrops and I like how you captured that side of things, your honest..that's a good quality to have