Hi, I took some MDMA 7 months ago(August) and still don't seem to have fully recovered from it. WhatI'm wondering now is if my current symptoms are just anxiety whichwas caused by the original dreadful comedown, or result from therestill being a chemical imbalance in my brain, i.e. a lack ofserotonin etc. I will list my story below, sorry it's so long andinvolves one quite 'personal' issue, but I didn't want to leaveanything out which might be important. If anyone could have a readand offer me some advice I'd be most grateful.
I took quite a high dose, 350mg, spreadover 3-4 hours, however, my friends took more and they did not haveany comedown symptoms for longer than 5-6 days (one had none at all).I wasn't a regular user either, it was my third (and will be final)time and it had been a year since my previous usage (250mg), forwhich I was fine after. The first week of symptoms was the worst,although I never had more than one symptom at once. They included:left sided chest pains, hours where I felt extremely mentally down,periods where I felt 'strange' all over and kept shuddering, periodswhere I just felt physically rubbish all over, plus twitching beforeI could get to sleep. A few days into this week I started taking some5-HTP, this stopped the twitching at least and seemed to ease thechest pain.
After 10 days or so I began to feelbetter, the physical symptoms becoming less frequent and lessintense, plus the periods of feeling mentally 'down' stopped. Thus,around about this time I stopped taking the 5-HTP. However, about aweek later, I went out clubbing with some (other) friends. I had areasonable amount of alcohol, but no more than I would usually drinkon a night out. After an hour or so in the club, whilst dancing, Isuddenly began to feel like I had taken some MDMA again. We happenedto leave the club just a few minutes after the feelings started, andthey subsequently stopped, yet the rest of the night and next morningI felt happier than I would usually be. My symptoms returned to anintense level the next night and following day, on which I began totake 5-HTP again. However, in just a few days they returned to theless intense state.
Then I had another incident when theMDMA type feelings came back, apologies for mentioning this but itreally is relevant, when I masturbated one morning a few days later.This time they lasted for 10 minutes or so and again prompted areturn of my symptoms the next day, yet this time they were worsethan ever and also included twitching legs during the day, anunpleasant light feeling in my left leg and a buzzing at the back ofmy head. I didn't take anymore 5-HTP, I took it the night after themasturbation and it made me feel really dodgy. The intense phaselasted about 2-3 weeks this time, during which I began to take omega3 fish oil and vitamin D3 tablets, which I'm still taking now. Thenthe symptoms returned to the less intense phase with no periods ofdeep depression. This was about the beginning of October, I foundfrom October to December very limited improvement in my condition.Gradually I began to have periods of a few days to a week where Ifelt pretty much fine all of the time, but then this would just befollowed by one of the symptoms returning intermittently for a fewdays, then be followed by another symptom for a few days. I didn'tdare masturbate during this time, every week or so it would happen atnight and wake me up, but this didn't seem to have any effect on mycondition in the next day or two.
Eventually, at the end of December, Idecided to try masturbating again. It felt much more like normal(i.e. not like I was on MDMA), yet straight after doing it I began toworry at what I might have caused. Lo and behold, that night thechest pains and twitching returned, at a reasonable level ofintensity too, the chest pain carrying on throughout the next fewdays without much respite.
Then I suddenly had a period of about 2weeks where I had virtually no symptoms at all, yet, from lateJanuary, I began to have periods of the buzzing in the back of myhead, shuddering feelings, twitching before sleep, feelings of slightdepression (though not as bad as previously), generally feelingrubbish all over and milder left chest pain. These have continueduntil now, they only affect me about 10-20% of the time I'd say andprobably more often in the evenings than any other time. I went outfor the first time in a while to a club after alcohol last week, forthe first 15 minutes I was there I had a strong desire to gurn, whichI resisted, and after then I was fine with no MDMA type feelings.
Today I went to see my doctor. He saidthat the drug has no doubt long left my body and he thinks theoriginal bad comedown (which I did find very distressing) has causedsome anxiety issues. He said he sees no evidence of any sort ofneurological damage been done and tried to reassure me that it was nolonger the drug doing any harm. He also said it shouldn't beaffecting masturbation at all, he thinks my worries after theDecember one caused the chest pain resurgence.
I can believe that this might be true,I now begin to suddenly feel very uncomfortable anytime drugs arementioned or seen on TV. For example, when watching a scene in a filmwhere drugs were taken I felt that I had to leave the room and itbrought on some mild symptoms which took an hour or so to settledown. In addition, my symptoms definitely occur more often when I'malone or in a place where I would usually feel relaxed (like home),or when I think about my condition more. When busy on a task orsocialising with people I don't know really well I definitely haveless symptoms. However, sometimes I don't feel worried about anythingat all, or am not thinking about my condition and symptoms can stillstart.
What I am after is another opinion, asI don't know how well the doctor knows the effects of MDMA on brainchemicals, could I still have a lack of certain chemicals in my brainor should it have recovered by now? Where should I go from here? I'mstill taking the omega fish oil and vitamin D3 and I exercisereasonably often and eat reasonably well. The doctor told me to booka follow up appointment in a month's time, which I have, and if Ihaven't improved by then he may put me on some anti anxiety tablets.
Again, apologies for the long read andsomewhat 'personal' issue involved, any help or advice would be verymuch appreciated. Thanks
I took quite a high dose, 350mg, spreadover 3-4 hours, however, my friends took more and they did not haveany comedown symptoms for longer than 5-6 days (one had none at all).I wasn't a regular user either, it was my third (and will be final)time and it had been a year since my previous usage (250mg), forwhich I was fine after. The first week of symptoms was the worst,although I never had more than one symptom at once. They included:left sided chest pains, hours where I felt extremely mentally down,periods where I felt 'strange' all over and kept shuddering, periodswhere I just felt physically rubbish all over, plus twitching beforeI could get to sleep. A few days into this week I started taking some5-HTP, this stopped the twitching at least and seemed to ease thechest pain.
After 10 days or so I began to feelbetter, the physical symptoms becoming less frequent and lessintense, plus the periods of feeling mentally 'down' stopped. Thus,around about this time I stopped taking the 5-HTP. However, about aweek later, I went out clubbing with some (other) friends. I had areasonable amount of alcohol, but no more than I would usually drinkon a night out. After an hour or so in the club, whilst dancing, Isuddenly began to feel like I had taken some MDMA again. We happenedto leave the club just a few minutes after the feelings started, andthey subsequently stopped, yet the rest of the night and next morningI felt happier than I would usually be. My symptoms returned to anintense level the next night and following day, on which I began totake 5-HTP again. However, in just a few days they returned to theless intense state.
Then I had another incident when theMDMA type feelings came back, apologies for mentioning this but itreally is relevant, when I masturbated one morning a few days later.This time they lasted for 10 minutes or so and again prompted areturn of my symptoms the next day, yet this time they were worsethan ever and also included twitching legs during the day, anunpleasant light feeling in my left leg and a buzzing at the back ofmy head. I didn't take anymore 5-HTP, I took it the night after themasturbation and it made me feel really dodgy. The intense phaselasted about 2-3 weeks this time, during which I began to take omega3 fish oil and vitamin D3 tablets, which I'm still taking now. Thenthe symptoms returned to the less intense phase with no periods ofdeep depression. This was about the beginning of October, I foundfrom October to December very limited improvement in my condition.Gradually I began to have periods of a few days to a week where Ifelt pretty much fine all of the time, but then this would just befollowed by one of the symptoms returning intermittently for a fewdays, then be followed by another symptom for a few days. I didn'tdare masturbate during this time, every week or so it would happen atnight and wake me up, but this didn't seem to have any effect on mycondition in the next day or two.
Eventually, at the end of December, Idecided to try masturbating again. It felt much more like normal(i.e. not like I was on MDMA), yet straight after doing it I began toworry at what I might have caused. Lo and behold, that night thechest pains and twitching returned, at a reasonable level ofintensity too, the chest pain carrying on throughout the next fewdays without much respite.
Then I suddenly had a period of about 2weeks where I had virtually no symptoms at all, yet, from lateJanuary, I began to have periods of the buzzing in the back of myhead, shuddering feelings, twitching before sleep, feelings of slightdepression (though not as bad as previously), generally feelingrubbish all over and milder left chest pain. These have continueduntil now, they only affect me about 10-20% of the time I'd say andprobably more often in the evenings than any other time. I went outfor the first time in a while to a club after alcohol last week, forthe first 15 minutes I was there I had a strong desire to gurn, whichI resisted, and after then I was fine with no MDMA type feelings.
Today I went to see my doctor. He saidthat the drug has no doubt long left my body and he thinks theoriginal bad comedown (which I did find very distressing) has causedsome anxiety issues. He said he sees no evidence of any sort ofneurological damage been done and tried to reassure me that it was nolonger the drug doing any harm. He also said it shouldn't beaffecting masturbation at all, he thinks my worries after theDecember one caused the chest pain resurgence.
I can believe that this might be true,I now begin to suddenly feel very uncomfortable anytime drugs arementioned or seen on TV. For example, when watching a scene in a filmwhere drugs were taken I felt that I had to leave the room and itbrought on some mild symptoms which took an hour or so to settledown. In addition, my symptoms definitely occur more often when I'malone or in a place where I would usually feel relaxed (like home),or when I think about my condition more. When busy on a task orsocialising with people I don't know really well I definitely haveless symptoms. However, sometimes I don't feel worried about anythingat all, or am not thinking about my condition and symptoms can stillstart.
What I am after is another opinion, asI don't know how well the doctor knows the effects of MDMA on brainchemicals, could I still have a lack of certain chemicals in my brainor should it have recovered by now? Where should I go from here? I'mstill taking the omega fish oil and vitamin D3 and I exercisereasonably often and eat reasonably well. The doctor told me to booka follow up appointment in a month's time, which I have, and if Ihaven't improved by then he may put me on some anti anxiety tablets.
Again, apologies for the long read andsomewhat 'personal' issue involved, any help or advice would be verymuch appreciated. Thanks
