Its fuckin horrible and over the last year it has gotten worse and worse. I still try to be normal and do normal things but it just doesnt work. Tonight I went to a party with this dude im cool with I knew I probaly wasnt going to know anyone there but I went anyway. I lasted like 10 mintes before I had to leave real bad negative thoughts and a panic sensation. Well im sure dude I went wth thinks im an asshole I didnt even go find him to tell him I was leaving. He txted me and I made up some BS. Fuck my life. I dont know what im gonna do but this cannot continue. I dont want to be alone my whole life.
Yeah I have been in talk therapy for the last 16 months. It really helped some of my issues but it seemed to have hit a wall in the last 5 months. My phycologist has recomended I go on some kind of anti-anxiety medication but when I go to the doctor they treat me like a drug seaker and prescribe SSRI. I actually broke down and tried cymbalta for a couple months last year but it didnt do anything.