Hi,
I've been suffering from Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) for about 6 years or so now. I've always been a nervous type of person, but until this GAD struck I coped pretty well in life. I now only get a little bit of enjoyment out of life, and a lot of struggle. I've now been off work almost a year because of my symptoms getting worse.
I'm 90% sure my anxiety is the result of obsessions that are based around me punishing myself for my mistakes (things that most people would probably tell themselves off once for, and then move on). I just move from one thing to another, and ruminate on it so much that I find it intensely difficult to carry out tasks. I rush everything to escape so that I can concentrate on my thoughts. Attempting to not obsess has so far proved fruitless.
I guess it's due to a lack of self-esteem, but I don't know if that explains the obsessing. I will focus on both recent things and things from years ago. An example of something I will beat myself up over is buying something and later realising I didn't check all the options available to me. I will punish myself mentally for anything up to days on end because I COULD have possibly got something better and/or cheaper, but I didn't even bother to check.
Another example is a recent one which is a big obsession: I am beating myself up for being anxious which I think could be significantly contributing to my hairline receding. I have concluded that I could have cured my anxiety if I had tried harder and so losing hair is my fault.
These obsessions rule my life now and I'm looking for help from anyone who might have suggestions. I have seen about 6 or 7 therapists now and never really get anywhere. I meditate and do cognitive behavioural exercises. I feel as if I could beat this if only I could let myself off the hook more easily, and believe that I am not doing terribly horrible things all the time. I make mountains out of molehills all the time, but I think this all stems from my low self-esteem.
My father is always has been an alcoholic, and gave me little attention as I grew up. Other than that I don't have any troubling childhood memories, and nothing terrible has happened to me. I have a history of heavy alcohol and drug use, which I used to medicate my anxiety.
I know this is a bit of a heavy post, but if anyone has experience with such a case (if there ever has been one!) I would love to hear their advice.
If this is the wrong forum, by the way, I apologise.
Thanks
Rickyo.
I've been suffering from Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) for about 6 years or so now. I've always been a nervous type of person, but until this GAD struck I coped pretty well in life. I now only get a little bit of enjoyment out of life, and a lot of struggle. I've now been off work almost a year because of my symptoms getting worse.
I'm 90% sure my anxiety is the result of obsessions that are based around me punishing myself for my mistakes (things that most people would probably tell themselves off once for, and then move on). I just move from one thing to another, and ruminate on it so much that I find it intensely difficult to carry out tasks. I rush everything to escape so that I can concentrate on my thoughts. Attempting to not obsess has so far proved fruitless.
I guess it's due to a lack of self-esteem, but I don't know if that explains the obsessing. I will focus on both recent things and things from years ago. An example of something I will beat myself up over is buying something and later realising I didn't check all the options available to me. I will punish myself mentally for anything up to days on end because I COULD have possibly got something better and/or cheaper, but I didn't even bother to check.
Another example is a recent one which is a big obsession: I am beating myself up for being anxious which I think could be significantly contributing to my hairline receding. I have concluded that I could have cured my anxiety if I had tried harder and so losing hair is my fault.
These obsessions rule my life now and I'm looking for help from anyone who might have suggestions. I have seen about 6 or 7 therapists now and never really get anywhere. I meditate and do cognitive behavioural exercises. I feel as if I could beat this if only I could let myself off the hook more easily, and believe that I am not doing terribly horrible things all the time. I make mountains out of molehills all the time, but I think this all stems from my low self-esteem.
My father is always has been an alcoholic, and gave me little attention as I grew up. Other than that I don't have any troubling childhood memories, and nothing terrible has happened to me. I have a history of heavy alcohol and drug use, which I used to medicate my anxiety.
I know this is a bit of a heavy post, but if anyone has experience with such a case (if there ever has been one!) I would love to hear their advice.
If this is the wrong forum, by the way, I apologise.
Thanks
Rickyo.
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