Anxiety and Racing Thoughts... What to Take

[sedative_hypnotic]

So, I suffer from debilitating anxiety: both generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. Throughout my adult life, I have alternated between Xanax (which helps with the panic attacks, but doesn't last long enough without having to re-dose when that low-boiling anxiousness inevitably comes back) and Klonopin (which helps with the generalized anxiety, but takes too long to work when experiencing a panic attack- also, Klonopin is more likely to exacerbate depression for me, as I have this problem as well to a lesser extent). Please don't suggest SSRI's; they don't help me. I am a young woman, and antidepressants cause me to be exponentially more depressed, to the point of suicidality. Benzos are kind of my only option. As of now, I have at my disposal (prescribed) 2mg Klonopins and 10mg Ambien for insomnia. I am terribly anxious due to work issues, guy issues (of course) and an upcoming move back to my hometown (which will hopefully be a good thing in the long run- I'll be closer to family with a better support system). However, in this moment I feel so much angst, I want to claw my skin off (hypothetically speaking of course, but it is pretty rough). I am hesitant to take my Klonopin right now, as I am pretty hormonal and I fear that it will cause some depression. I THINK that the best option right now is some Ambien (about 15 mgs) and a couple of beers, to help me relax and eventually (although hopefully not immediately, as I have some journaling/reading that I need to do) sleep. Thoughts on this? Can anyone think of something which may be safer, more effective, etc. (keeping in mind what I have here)? Ideas as to whether or not this sounds like a decent plan would be appreciated; I feel that I am not in the best decision-making state right now. Also, I should note that when combining reasonable doses of Ambien and small amounts of alcohol, I don't ever suffer from those crazy black-out spells that some people report. I am just debating on whether or not it'd be a good idea to go ahead and take a Klonopin, or just take the above mentioned combo... Sorry, my thoughts are clearly all over the place.

 

[Speed King]

I deal with the same issues. I take 3mg of Klonopin a day and 10mg Ambien a day..
By issues I mean anxiety related.
What I can suggest is first, leave the alcohol out of the equation. That will mess up your tolerance and add to the depression. Secondly, if you think the Klonopin is causing depression, take it less. Most every doctor will say PRN aka as needed. I don't know how you dose, but at most, I take 1mg every 8 hours. The benefit to that is you achieve a steady blood level and I feel it lowers depression effects, because it's so spread apart. Ambien could be causing or adding to your depressive effects. You could try taking that less and see if that changes anything.
Aside from that, it seems like your only choice is to see a doctor about your depressive issues.
Let me re point out that the Ambien / beer combo isn't a very good idea for a few reasons including blackouts and screwing up your tolerance. If you have any questions or need more help, pm me. I hope this helps