ThatSpaceyKid
Bluelighter
Sober Living...
A few weeks back I had a revelation... I was smoking Heroin and Crystal Meth. I was working. I was going to school. I had a few mental issues... I had been feeling extremely depressed for a LONG time. The only reason I used drugs was to escape the pain that was afflicting me. I did not grow up like every kid should. I never had any childhood friends. I am the kid that no one knows much about. My family is sheltered. We do not associate with most people. We are too proud. I had a lot on my plate. Times were good, but they weren't.
It all started last year when we finally got help for this issue... I had serious problems at this time. I had gotten onto Heroin, Pills, Cannabis, Drank Liquor, Hash, Wax, and Crack... I had trouble growing up and spent most of my days alone. I learned so much about this world. I was once a smart productive member of society. I used to get straight A's in school. I finished high school. I started college, but have not advanced at all because I screwed up last year and didn't ever go to class so I failed... This year I couldn't go because something terrible happened.
I had been doing drugs since I was about 13. I am only 19... I am not bragging by far, but I should have been dead by now
... I did some STUPID SHIT. I just want to finally do things right for once. I know you have read about me from previous posts. But I have been clean for a month now.. I gotta say living is nice. It is a good feeling to know I am clean. I am still having trouble with the cravings. I am also having trouble because the day when everything stopped... I had gotten into a fight with my father for 6 hours. I was having a Bipolar meltdown! I had gotten so pissed off and was having anxiety attacks like crazy.. Then I made a mistake.. I was high on heroin and Meth... I grabbed a knife and threatened my life to my family..
It was then that I heard my mom on the phone. So I knew she was calling the cops. I tried to run to my room to throw my weed, weed pipe, and shit in there... My dad threw me to the couch and let those cops in... They treated me like shit. I was being abused and I was the one who got into trouble... That night I was taken the hospital. They took blood, and Urine... Before I knew it I was being taken to Detox. In that whole few hours... I was fighting like crazy. Nothing I said helped me. I was scared and betrayed... I got charged for the weed, my pipe, and the syringes...
I am going to a treatment program this week. I need help with my Bipolar issues. I have moved out of my dads house because we are going to kill eachother.. I cannot stand to be around him. They have a protection order so I havent even seen them in a long time.. I just need to know that I am human for once... I am so TIRED of this thirst. How do I get pasts all this.. I can not get that night off my head.. IT hurts worse because my family is keeping me away from work, school, my friends, and my home... I am living with my grandma. But I am getting depressed just sitting here all day... I have bad depression issues. This is going to be a dual problem with drugs and mental issues so a dual diagnosis?
I just want everyone to know I am serious about help... I woke up. I dont want this anymore. I am so tired of this being my life. ='[ <\3
A few weeks back I had a revelation... I was smoking Heroin and Crystal Meth. I was working. I was going to school. I had a few mental issues... I had been feeling extremely depressed for a LONG time. The only reason I used drugs was to escape the pain that was afflicting me. I did not grow up like every kid should. I never had any childhood friends. I am the kid that no one knows much about. My family is sheltered. We do not associate with most people. We are too proud. I had a lot on my plate. Times were good, but they weren't.
It all started last year when we finally got help for this issue... I had serious problems at this time. I had gotten onto Heroin, Pills, Cannabis, Drank Liquor, Hash, Wax, and Crack... I had trouble growing up and spent most of my days alone. I learned so much about this world. I was once a smart productive member of society. I used to get straight A's in school. I finished high school. I started college, but have not advanced at all because I screwed up last year and didn't ever go to class so I failed... This year I couldn't go because something terrible happened.
I had been doing drugs since I was about 13. I am only 19... I am not bragging by far, but I should have been dead by now
... I did some STUPID SHIT. I just want to finally do things right for once. I know you have read about me from previous posts. But I have been clean for a month now.. I gotta say living is nice. It is a good feeling to know I am clean. I am still having trouble with the cravings. I am also having trouble because the day when everything stopped... I had gotten into a fight with my father for 6 hours. I was having a Bipolar meltdown! I had gotten so pissed off and was having anxiety attacks like crazy.. Then I made a mistake.. I was high on heroin and Meth... I grabbed a knife and threatened my life to my family..It was then that I heard my mom on the phone. So I knew she was calling the cops. I tried to run to my room to throw my weed, weed pipe, and shit in there... My dad threw me to the couch and let those cops in... They treated me like shit. I was being abused and I was the one who got into trouble... That night I was taken the hospital. They took blood, and Urine... Before I knew it I was being taken to Detox. In that whole few hours... I was fighting like crazy. Nothing I said helped me. I was scared and betrayed... I got charged for the weed, my pipe, and the syringes...
I am going to a treatment program this week. I need help with my Bipolar issues. I have moved out of my dads house because we are going to kill eachother.. I cannot stand to be around him. They have a protection order so I havent even seen them in a long time.. I just need to know that I am human for once... I am so TIRED of this thirst. How do I get pasts all this.. I can not get that night off my head.. IT hurts worse because my family is keeping me away from work, school, my friends, and my home... I am living with my grandma. But I am getting depressed just sitting here all day... I have bad depression issues. This is going to be a dual problem with drugs and mental issues so a dual diagnosis?
I just want everyone to know I am serious about help... I woke up. I dont want this anymore. I am so tired of this being my life. ='[ <\3
