another one I don't know what to call.....

[RaveAngel]

I let you take it from me. My innocence. My purity. And you took it so easily, simply standing up and walking out afterward, without a single word. Without a single look. You just fucked me and that was the end of it. Shattering my peace of mind. Dragging me back to those unlawful years, when I needed something, anything, to make me feel worthwhile. You took advantage of my loneliness. Of my sorrow. Of my lack of self-confidence. You just pushed yourself in and let me cry alone afterward, weeping for myself and for the me I used to be. And I can't stop crying, day after day, because I don't understand. The selfishness. The arrogance. I don't understand. I have too much heart. I have too much pain. I have too many memories. And you just used it, against me, in such an awful degrading manner. That I have no choice. Than to find my blade. To watch myself bleed. To feel myself hurt. Let me go, let me fly, into a world of angels and clouds.... I can't stand to be here anymore. Just let me go.....
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"Shine on you crazy diamond....."

 

[LiQwidVibeZ]

Aww raveangel that practically put tears in my eyes. Im me sometime at: liquidstylexnola or liqwidvibez.
*much love*
*Jessica*
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Trance is for people with depth, I wouldn't expect you to understand it.

 

[vixen2]

hon i know how hard that must have been for u to write. i um, i went through a similar experience last yr. it has had such an enormous impact on me both physically and emotionally. but the thing that hurt me more than losing my innocence, self esteem and basically trust, was that my own friends didnt believe me.
telling everyone like u have over BL is one of the strongest, bravest things u could do. I am soo proud of u *hugs* and i hope that in time things get better for u sweetie coz no one deserves that....

 

[Lyra]

now that im in tears....
im sorry that had to happen to you. i've been there as well. but, i was never strong enough to do something like you did. i could never talk about it. i admire you. just remember, that no matter what the situation is now, life is a beautiful thing and you have so much to offer the world. be strong and keep smiling.

 

[RaveAngel]

Thanks kiddies, for listening, for the support, for everything *hugglies* I wrote this just the other night after having an experience I'd rather forget , but it's a product of a culmination of events that have happened over the past 2 years or so. Sometimes just when you think something is in the past, it creeps up on you again. Making it even more painful, because you'd think you would have learned a lesson the first time. Damn self-consciousness and the hateful people who feed it..... But even though I don't know any of you, I think yall are different. I had a feeling that my thoughts and feelings were safe with all of you. Thanks again. And big *MUAHS*
$$ Ski $$
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"Shine on you crazy diamond....."