You changed my life, the day I met you, and you don't even know it.
Not many people do.
And although its a day too late to tell you,
The memories are worth a first and last telling.
Wherever you are, I hope you are still dancing...
I was 18.
I was the shy girl in the club, dressed conservatively, hugging the wall.
You were the goofy guy with the big baggy pants, all smiles, bouncy bleach-blond hair.
Joanna introduced me to you, and you bounced all over me and infected me with your energy.
You put a bracelet made of big rainbow-colored beads on my wrist.
You told me I was beautiful.
You pulled me away from my wall, and out of my shell, and into a crazy world where everyone is happy, and the music doesn't stop.
This strange new world came with unexpected surprises, and things I wasn't ready for, and things I didn't understand.
But I felt so safe around you, and always wanted to be around you.
We would sit on your porch, at your old house, late night after late night,
With a candle burning, and summer noises echoing all around us as we sat on the swing in each other's arms.
I wasn't in love with you, and maybe you were with me, but it didn't matter.
Just getting to be in your arms, neither one of us cared. It couldn't have been perfect any other way.
We'd walk down to the playground and talk about everything, about nothing.
We'd fall asleep upstairs, on your mattress.
We'd listen to music, and talk about life. You loved Robert Miles, and happy hardcore.
I'd come visit you at the gas station with all the spiders. I'd go to parties with you, and we'd always be the last ones dancing.
I will never forget Whistle 3, as the sun was coming up and we were in the main room listening to Anabolic Frolic, and everyone was sitting on fliers on the floor, exhausted
But you were oblivious to it all... you kept right on dancing, and I stared at you, mesmerized. It was beautiful, watching you dance.
I'll always remember that.
I remember nights at the house on Blarney Street. And when I say that, it's amazing I remember anything from those years at all.
At what point in our lives did we decide that that surreal world was better than reality? We were totally lost in it.
I don't remember when it all stopped.
I remember the visits were fewer, the phone calls shorter. I think at some point, you were really upset with me, because I wasn't capable of returning your feelings.
Distance grew. I'd see you here and there,
And I always remembered our old conversations, but things just weren't the same.
I hurt you, didn't I?
I did what I was so good at doing, but to someone who definitely didn't deserve it.
I remember the past year. I remember the last time I saw you. I remember the long emails, the sadness in your words.
We were both going through a hard time, and remember thinking,
It's sad that it takes us a difficult time to come together.
I remember sending you messages, hoping to see you when I came home for Christmas, but I never got to.
I remember when I got the call. The call that you were gone.
I didn't know how to react. I couldn't speak, I couldn't cry. I couldn't think.
Why did you leave, Mikey? We really did love you, all of us.
Were things really SO BAD, that no one could help?
Did we not see how much pain you were in?
Why didn't you come to us!!
I can't remember you as anything except the smiling, crazy happy Mike I met that night in the club, when I was 18.
I don't remember that little blond girl at all,
But I remember you.
And I hate myself that most of the memories have faded,
And I have let them.
They come trickling back now, moment by moment.
In a song, in a thought, in a word, in a picture.
You were loved.
I hope your time here, short as it was, was happy.
I hope I gave you enough memories to take with you.
I hope you look down on me, and guide me, and remind me how precious, and short, life is.
I hope you are finally free, and at peace, wherever you are.
I hope you never forget how much I cared about you,
even though I wasn't the best at showing it sometimes.
What I wouldn't give to have one more walk to the playground...
One more kiss...
One more crazy night of insanity in jennielee's apartment...
One more memory...
One more dance...
Dedicated to my dear friend Mike, who died 2 weeks ago, by overdosing.
Not many people do.
And although its a day too late to tell you,
The memories are worth a first and last telling.
Wherever you are, I hope you are still dancing...
I was 18.
I was the shy girl in the club, dressed conservatively, hugging the wall.
You were the goofy guy with the big baggy pants, all smiles, bouncy bleach-blond hair.
Joanna introduced me to you, and you bounced all over me and infected me with your energy.
You put a bracelet made of big rainbow-colored beads on my wrist.
You told me I was beautiful.
You pulled me away from my wall, and out of my shell, and into a crazy world where everyone is happy, and the music doesn't stop.
This strange new world came with unexpected surprises, and things I wasn't ready for, and things I didn't understand.
But I felt so safe around you, and always wanted to be around you.
We would sit on your porch, at your old house, late night after late night,
With a candle burning, and summer noises echoing all around us as we sat on the swing in each other's arms.
I wasn't in love with you, and maybe you were with me, but it didn't matter.
Just getting to be in your arms, neither one of us cared. It couldn't have been perfect any other way.
We'd walk down to the playground and talk about everything, about nothing.
We'd fall asleep upstairs, on your mattress.
We'd listen to music, and talk about life. You loved Robert Miles, and happy hardcore.
I'd come visit you at the gas station with all the spiders. I'd go to parties with you, and we'd always be the last ones dancing.
I will never forget Whistle 3, as the sun was coming up and we were in the main room listening to Anabolic Frolic, and everyone was sitting on fliers on the floor, exhausted
But you were oblivious to it all... you kept right on dancing, and I stared at you, mesmerized. It was beautiful, watching you dance.
I'll always remember that.
I remember nights at the house on Blarney Street. And when I say that, it's amazing I remember anything from those years at all.
At what point in our lives did we decide that that surreal world was better than reality? We were totally lost in it.
I don't remember when it all stopped.
I remember the visits were fewer, the phone calls shorter. I think at some point, you were really upset with me, because I wasn't capable of returning your feelings.
Distance grew. I'd see you here and there,
And I always remembered our old conversations, but things just weren't the same.
I hurt you, didn't I?
I did what I was so good at doing, but to someone who definitely didn't deserve it.
I remember the past year. I remember the last time I saw you. I remember the long emails, the sadness in your words.
We were both going through a hard time, and remember thinking,
It's sad that it takes us a difficult time to come together.
I remember sending you messages, hoping to see you when I came home for Christmas, but I never got to.
I remember when I got the call. The call that you were gone.
I didn't know how to react. I couldn't speak, I couldn't cry. I couldn't think.
Why did you leave, Mikey? We really did love you, all of us.
Were things really SO BAD, that no one could help?
Did we not see how much pain you were in?
Why didn't you come to us!!
I can't remember you as anything except the smiling, crazy happy Mike I met that night in the club, when I was 18.
I don't remember that little blond girl at all,
But I remember you.
And I hate myself that most of the memories have faded,
And I have let them.
They come trickling back now, moment by moment.
In a song, in a thought, in a word, in a picture.
You were loved.
I hope your time here, short as it was, was happy.
I hope I gave you enough memories to take with you.
I hope you look down on me, and guide me, and remind me how precious, and short, life is.
I hope you are finally free, and at peace, wherever you are.
I hope you never forget how much I cared about you,
even though I wasn't the best at showing it sometimes.
What I wouldn't give to have one more walk to the playground...
One more kiss...
One more crazy night of insanity in jennielee's apartment...
One more memory...
One more dance...
Dedicated to my dear friend Mike, who died 2 weeks ago, by overdosing.
but you have a beautiful writting style.