and such is life

it's just one thing after the other.. I'm fucking done
lose my boyfriend to drugs, have my wallet stolen/lost with all my cash, give in to addictions of my own, and now I've got people lying about me, betrayal.. I know there are other people with way worse problems than mine but fuck it sucks
And I'm so tired of it
Wish the world would leave me alone,
like I'm supposed to be

 

Difficulties like this come in bursts. The things that have helped me the most when going through difficult times are: having my feelings, but not identifying with them, and remembering that nothing is permanent-- this too shall pass.

Not to preach, but it sounds like this might be a ripe time to work on freeing yourself from your addiction? My thought is that if you're already stressed, why not get it all done with at once? Like a band-aid you know?

Glibness aside, it's of little-to-no value to compare your troubles to others'. You can't feel their pain for them, and they can't feel your pain for you. What you can do is change your own behaviour, including your outlook. It's a skill, and like any other it takes practise and failure to get good at it. But there's no reason why you can't do it.

Anyway, pardon my rambilng. I just wanted to suggest that perhaps things aren't as hopeless as they seem.

 

Yeah, I occasionally just get down and then feel like everything and everyone is out to get me. I'm better now. And workin on the addictions, I haven't smoked in 3 days which is good and it's been a week since I've done any coke or k. I know things will get better with time and patience.
thanks.

 

No problem, it's what I'm here for.

Your reply shows that you have the right outlook. Just be patient and keep working at life, and things will turn out. There's a glib saying that popped into my head when I read your post: Everything turns out okay in the end; if it's not okay, it's not the end. I don't know that I agree entirely with it, especially as both good and bad times are impermanent (as is everything else), but the sentiment is in the right place, methinks.

Good luck with the coke addiction. That's a tougher one to beat, but one of the better ones to get off of. It's quite simply impossible to be a functioning cokehead in the long run.