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And I guess that I just don't know

ichosewisely

ichosewisely

Greenlighter
Joined
May 21, 2010
Messages
36
Location
Iceland
There was a whole speech above this with my whole drug phase story and whatnot but here is what really matters.

Withdrawal flew by painfully but surely with the help of antihistamines and benzos. It's now that I feel the insane cravings and all I really think about is how badly I wanna get high. I feel completely disconnected from the world, out of place if you will. I forget everything, I walk into a room having no idea what I came in there for. I zone out in conversations and there are times where i'm so fatigued that I need help getting out of bed or even walking. The depression is the worst. I frequently am tempted to end it all.
Up to this day no one knows about my drug use, although my friend and possibly my psychologist might have their suspicions, but not my family. I'm tempted to talk to someone but I don't know if I'll be able to get the words out. How would you tell someone: I am a (recovering?) junkie?

I just felt like I had to get it out there, thanks for reading. Any suggestions are welcome.
 
Sounds like you're goin thru PAWS...which are a lot worse than physical w/d IMO. It'll take some time away from drugs to get your body and mind healed. How much time that is depends on how long you were using...
 
All I can say is that suppressing your feelings and emotions is only going to cause further anxiety and depression. I'd really suggest just trying your hardest to talk to family or close peers that could help you along the way. If this fails then I would move on to a professional therapist.

Good luck.

Edit: Just understand that its time to drop your fear of judgment and not care about what others think of you, but let them know that you are trying to make a life changing movement towards a better life.
 
^^ Both excellent posts from Georgie and aparanz <3

ichosewisely, as Georgie said it can take a while for your brain and body to heal from the damage the drugs did. But it's important to remember that you WILL get better. It's pretty normal that you're feeling this shitty even though you've gotten through the physical withdrawals. I really think what you need the most at this time is support from your loved ones. It's going to be hard, but once you get it out there you will feel so much better and they will be able to really help you get through this.

I just told my parents the other day that I have a pretty serious drinking problem, and they had no idea so it was REALLY hard to find the right words and spit it out. But I was instantly glad that I did because now they're 100% behind me.

And, of course, there is LOTS of support right here on Bluelight, from all sorts of people who have been through exactly what you're going through. You're not alone okay? Hang in there <3
 
OP: You have to understand that the drugs chemically alter you and those chemicals have to balance back out. It will ease with time. Best of luck to you!
 
Thanks for the replies and and the good lucks. I find it kinda therapeutic to know that I had the guts to post this. Maybe now i'll find the courage to confront my shrink and/or family.
 
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