C Divinity
Bluelighter
Why am I awake at 8:30 am? Good question, I ponder the answer myself. I lay down everynight in hopes that I will drift into a peacefull slumber and sleep until the morning, but everynight I toss and turn. My body twists up in the blanket, and I awake to sweat glistening on my chest. These dreams I have are not ones of far off places, they are dark and morbid, awakening me with a jolt. Every noise I hear, every sound in the middle of the night makes my heart beat faster. I reach my hand out beside me and I realize there is no one there next to me, I'm alone in my room, as i've always been. I often grasp the pillow besides me as if it were the love of my life, curling my fingers around the corner and resting my head gently on it, all the while thinking, soon he'll be beside you, soon he'll share your bed. But these things I tell myself over and over seem as if they won't ever be true. I dread going to bed everynight in fear, tossing, turning, crying because i'm alone with my thoughts. Will the empty void that is that space to my left ever be filled? For now I need more pillows, perhaps a stuffed animal or two, anything to trick myself into believing that I'm not alone...
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You gotta be a bad girl in this world to be heard...
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You gotta be a bad girl in this world to be heard...
