Pfafffed
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2015
- Messages
- 1,844
Background: I've sampled dozens of different psychedelics over the years, but this one has eluded me until I managed to acquire this small sample. With the possible exception of a mystery drug that may have been aET, I've never had an enjoyable experience with a serotonin releaser. While you would think that flooding my synaptic gaps with serotonin would make me euphoric, it generally makes me feel lonely and sad. Needless to say, don't judge aMT by my experience with it. The aMT was reagent tested with Mecke, Marquis, and Mandelin reagents. It also tested negative for fentanyl. It's weirdly odorless and disolves in water readily, so it's not the freebase. I presume this is the succinate salt, but I dose as if it were the HCl just in case.
I woke up at 6am without alarm, having slept for a little under 8hrs thanks to 500ug of etizolam, melatonin, valerian, lemon balm, some kava extract, and some relaxing teas. I woke hungry, thanks to having a disrupted meal schedule the day prior caused by Thanksgiving. Still, I was in a good mood, although a little bummed to taking an entactogen with my first cold sore in eight years threatening int the background. An entactogen with no kissing is a sad thing indeed. The evening prior, my friend and I took some tadalafil in the evening (2.5mg for me, 3.5mg for them) to try to offset any aMT-induced erectile issues. I discontinued a short stint with SAMe eight days ago, and took a capsule of St. John's on Saturday and Sunday each, I believe. There should be no other relevant interactions. I've been having some issues with heart flutters recently, which I've had all my life. As usual these days, I wake with considerable shoulder, neck, and upper back tension, so I pre-load with a ton of chelated magnesium.
6:30 Ate a large bowl of muesli for breakfast. Had no caffeine, which may or may not be a good plan. Two fish oil capsules and two multivitamins.
7:10 Inserted 40mg of aMT (presumed succinate) into rinsed rectum in about 2.5mL of water (including rinse.) I also took 4mg of ondansetron orally.
7:18 Is this an alert?
7:22 Definintely feeling something. A tryptamine alteration to headspace and some stimulation growing already. Oh boy. I hope 40mg was a sensible starting point.
7:45 Warm, fuzzy, dreamy, languid, energized. I think if this was as high as it went, I would be happy. I'm not tripping, but I'm enjoying myself. I could see liking this at a lower dosage to land here. My friend is having some gut stuff. I'm having a hint of jaw tension. I took one magnesium.
7:55 I think the ondansetron was a good idea for me with this one. I have lots of energy to do things, but my headspace is chill. I have no anxiety. My friend doesn't look as comfortable. They jumped in the shower (I can't wait to shower myself.) Also, they weirdly broke out with hives in the shower and to top it off got hit hard in the foot with the metal towel rack when it broke.
8:05 CEVs of rose glitter sparkles were nice while listening to music. Some mild waving of surfaces with eyes open. I dimmed all of the lights in the house and lit some candles. I want warmth and comfort in my space. This is so far like 5-MeO-MiPT, but the stimulation is a cleaner amphetamine stimulation and the feeling is more languid and it lacks that drugs earthy, stoney, munchy vibe.
My friend had a hit of cannabis at 25.4% THC and it evened out their feelings of imbalance. They feel much better now. I'm thirsty and going for a shower.
8:35 Coming up now a bit harder. I had a shower, which felt nice. While in there, I kept seeing these little windows into happiness in my mind that were closed that I could open. I could feel the troubles of my past, those emotions hiding in the flesh of my face, sculpting my visage. Some could be released. Then it got a little stronger and I moved beyond this happy space to continue my ascent. I'm again glad I took ondansetron for nausea. Still kind of thirsty, so just sipping on water occasionally.
8:50 - Serotonin release effects are increasing now. Some of the quesiness is abating. My friend, their cat, and I cuddle on the couch, listening to the Chrono Cross soundtrack. They discuss getting another pet to ease their pain for when their cat passes away inevitably. While laying there, eyes closed, listening to music, I surf the inner pathways of my interior emotional life. I look at the emotional blunting, the lack of feeling, the frustrations, the bloackages. They're all visceral, not intellectual. I look at the depressive blockages and how they stop me from feeling pleasure, even now, even in this moment. It's interesting, but I don't make progress. It makes me wonder if I should try going on an SSRI, actually, even though I don't actually feel depressed.
9:10 - My friend gets up to make some rice Chex for their breakfast. I notice leg tension when walking. They comment that if the experience doesn't get any stronger, that they'll be happy with it. It's extremely mild, but pleasant enough.
9:40 - I think I'm going to take a 20mg booster.
9:50 - Administer the 20mg booster, 50% of the initial dose within the tolerance window. Hopefully it's worth the increase in side effects and duration. My friend decides to see how I feel after a half an hour to determine their course of action.
10:15 - Booster was felt after about 20min. Going forward, I think I will probably try to dose this in the 75-80mg range. It think this is the succinate salt. I don't plan to take any more boosters today. My friend will likely ride it out at their current level.
10:25 - I actually feel like I'm at a satisfying ++ now. I've transitioned into a trippy headpsace, albeit a very mild one. Stimulation is noted, but its comfortable. My friend decides to go for a booster.
11:30 - Hungry, so I try to eat an apple. Make it two bites before my stomach informs me that that will be all it will be eating for now, thank you very much.
3:22 - In retrospect, it might have been better if we hadn't redosed. My friend's bruxism is driving them crazy. We both got to a suitable trippy headspace with the redose, but the serotonin release made us feel foggy, sleepy, and incompetent. We wanted to go for a walk, but it was cold outside and we didn't want to go to the trouble of bundling up then coming back in and trying to get warm. The space was at no point challenging or bad, although some of the CEVs were cartoonishly grotesque at times. Mostly, I just felt like I wanted to take a nap. All. Day. Long. I just felt like sleeping, like powering down. The same for my friend.
At 2pm, I had some white tea, which helped, as did a few bites of turkey. Prior to that, I only managed apple, slowly over a few hours. The drug's space today hasn't been bad, but neither of us have known what to do with it that we would like. My friend found that it enahanced their feelings of touch--they thought petting the cat felt nice--but I did not experience any tactile enhancement. I just got the same feelings of emotional pain, remoteness, and distance that I usually get from releasers and the same blunting that I get from antidepressants like harmine, harmaline, or SAMe. aMT and syrian rue do actually feel a little similar. My sex drive is non-existant. My friend attempted to get me to orgasm earlier in the day, but failed.
The drug has overstayed its welcome and its novelty has worn off for both of us long ago, but at least the addition of tea and food as the peak recedes has improved my outlook tremendously. Unfortunately, my friend is definitely not having an enjoyable time. I have had some very minor difficulty urinating. It's been hard to play video games earlier -- too stoned.
3:40 - My friend and I concur: this drug showcased its best traits at a lower dosage.
5:00 It's beginning to taper off. The ascent was bumpy, but the plateaus was stable despite the booster. I take another magnesium tablet to try to reduce my jaw tension and its headache. My friend has it considerably worse, their jaw locking up at times.
8:15. It's dropping off some more. I thought that maybe I would be down enough to sleep and not just pretend to like I had throughout the day. Once I got up and walked around the house a bit, I realized that I was still pretty altered. I elected to take some etizolam at this time to ensure that I zonked out easily by 9:30, while my friend toughed it out and went to sleep easily around 10.
Next day: I woke easily at 6am. My friend woke easily, as well, but found that as the day went on, they had no energy for anything. I assume this was due to poor sleep quality and a tiring prior day. In the AM, I felt warm, affectionate, mellow, and cuddly. My friend said that they did as well, but as it was their productive time of day, they busied themselves with tasks they'd wanted to accomplish. I felt a little sad and lonely about that. I went about my own day, and after some coffee and lunch, I no longer felt affectionate nor did I long for cuddles.
I found that there were a few times throughout the day that music touched me emotionally. It doesn't often do that anymore. The same happened a couple of times the following day. I found myself feeling content in life, finding it a little hard to motivate because of it, too. A net positive, I suppose.
Conclusion: Could it have been the ondansetron? I knew going into this that I might not have a great experience given my history with 5-HT releasers, but I kind of figured that my friend would be likely to enjoy it. They had one experience with "MDMA" in the distant past that they didn't enjoy, but there's no telling what that was and they were a different person. Despite there being no reason to assume that ondansetron would interfere in any way with the experience, I was a little reluctant to preload with it. I'd only used it once before, and that was a year ago with methallylescaline. Both of us love that material, but that experience was washed out, a complete dud. I figured that the odds of that being a fluke were much higher than the odds of a highly selective 5-HT3 antagonist impacting a drug with an entirely different mechanism of action, and I still feel the same way. Even administering it rectally, I got some strong reminders from my stomach that this was a drug likely to cause considerable nausea, so I don't think it's likely that I would ever seek it out again to take it without nausea medication.
The headspace was astonishingly light. The visuals were quite mild despite the dose. And it was really long, long enough that terminating it with a benzo wasn't even a thought for me. At no point was it unpleasant, difficult, or challenging. The side effects were mild (thanks to the magnesium and ondansetron.) My blood pressure at the peak wasn't elevated. I had no crash the following day and woke feeling rested. No complaints, except that I have no idea what I would use this material for. It mostly just made me feel dumb, languid, and sleepy at this dose. I could see revisiting it at much lower doses for...something? My friend said that they could see taking 10mg if they needed to sand a deck or chop wood all day. I think I would just lay in a hammock all day if I tried that. I'm not sure if I'll revisit this, but if I do it's going to be at a much lower dose.
I woke up at 6am without alarm, having slept for a little under 8hrs thanks to 500ug of etizolam, melatonin, valerian, lemon balm, some kava extract, and some relaxing teas. I woke hungry, thanks to having a disrupted meal schedule the day prior caused by Thanksgiving. Still, I was in a good mood, although a little bummed to taking an entactogen with my first cold sore in eight years threatening int the background. An entactogen with no kissing is a sad thing indeed. The evening prior, my friend and I took some tadalafil in the evening (2.5mg for me, 3.5mg for them) to try to offset any aMT-induced erectile issues. I discontinued a short stint with SAMe eight days ago, and took a capsule of St. John's on Saturday and Sunday each, I believe. There should be no other relevant interactions. I've been having some issues with heart flutters recently, which I've had all my life. As usual these days, I wake with considerable shoulder, neck, and upper back tension, so I pre-load with a ton of chelated magnesium.
6:30 Ate a large bowl of muesli for breakfast. Had no caffeine, which may or may not be a good plan. Two fish oil capsules and two multivitamins.
7:10 Inserted 40mg of aMT (presumed succinate) into rinsed rectum in about 2.5mL of water (including rinse.) I also took 4mg of ondansetron orally.
7:18 Is this an alert?
7:22 Definintely feeling something. A tryptamine alteration to headspace and some stimulation growing already. Oh boy. I hope 40mg was a sensible starting point.
7:45 Warm, fuzzy, dreamy, languid, energized. I think if this was as high as it went, I would be happy. I'm not tripping, but I'm enjoying myself. I could see liking this at a lower dosage to land here. My friend is having some gut stuff. I'm having a hint of jaw tension. I took one magnesium.
7:55 I think the ondansetron was a good idea for me with this one. I have lots of energy to do things, but my headspace is chill. I have no anxiety. My friend doesn't look as comfortable. They jumped in the shower (I can't wait to shower myself.) Also, they weirdly broke out with hives in the shower and to top it off got hit hard in the foot with the metal towel rack when it broke.
8:05 CEVs of rose glitter sparkles were nice while listening to music. Some mild waving of surfaces with eyes open. I dimmed all of the lights in the house and lit some candles. I want warmth and comfort in my space. This is so far like 5-MeO-MiPT, but the stimulation is a cleaner amphetamine stimulation and the feeling is more languid and it lacks that drugs earthy, stoney, munchy vibe.
My friend had a hit of cannabis at 25.4% THC and it evened out their feelings of imbalance. They feel much better now. I'm thirsty and going for a shower.
8:35 Coming up now a bit harder. I had a shower, which felt nice. While in there, I kept seeing these little windows into happiness in my mind that were closed that I could open. I could feel the troubles of my past, those emotions hiding in the flesh of my face, sculpting my visage. Some could be released. Then it got a little stronger and I moved beyond this happy space to continue my ascent. I'm again glad I took ondansetron for nausea. Still kind of thirsty, so just sipping on water occasionally.
8:50 - Serotonin release effects are increasing now. Some of the quesiness is abating. My friend, their cat, and I cuddle on the couch, listening to the Chrono Cross soundtrack. They discuss getting another pet to ease their pain for when their cat passes away inevitably. While laying there, eyes closed, listening to music, I surf the inner pathways of my interior emotional life. I look at the emotional blunting, the lack of feeling, the frustrations, the bloackages. They're all visceral, not intellectual. I look at the depressive blockages and how they stop me from feeling pleasure, even now, even in this moment. It's interesting, but I don't make progress. It makes me wonder if I should try going on an SSRI, actually, even though I don't actually feel depressed.
9:10 - My friend gets up to make some rice Chex for their breakfast. I notice leg tension when walking. They comment that if the experience doesn't get any stronger, that they'll be happy with it. It's extremely mild, but pleasant enough.
9:40 - I think I'm going to take a 20mg booster.
9:50 - Administer the 20mg booster, 50% of the initial dose within the tolerance window. Hopefully it's worth the increase in side effects and duration. My friend decides to see how I feel after a half an hour to determine their course of action.
10:15 - Booster was felt after about 20min. Going forward, I think I will probably try to dose this in the 75-80mg range. It think this is the succinate salt. I don't plan to take any more boosters today. My friend will likely ride it out at their current level.
10:25 - I actually feel like I'm at a satisfying ++ now. I've transitioned into a trippy headpsace, albeit a very mild one. Stimulation is noted, but its comfortable. My friend decides to go for a booster.
11:30 - Hungry, so I try to eat an apple. Make it two bites before my stomach informs me that that will be all it will be eating for now, thank you very much.
3:22 - In retrospect, it might have been better if we hadn't redosed. My friend's bruxism is driving them crazy. We both got to a suitable trippy headspace with the redose, but the serotonin release made us feel foggy, sleepy, and incompetent. We wanted to go for a walk, but it was cold outside and we didn't want to go to the trouble of bundling up then coming back in and trying to get warm. The space was at no point challenging or bad, although some of the CEVs were cartoonishly grotesque at times. Mostly, I just felt like I wanted to take a nap. All. Day. Long. I just felt like sleeping, like powering down. The same for my friend.
At 2pm, I had some white tea, which helped, as did a few bites of turkey. Prior to that, I only managed apple, slowly over a few hours. The drug's space today hasn't been bad, but neither of us have known what to do with it that we would like. My friend found that it enahanced their feelings of touch--they thought petting the cat felt nice--but I did not experience any tactile enhancement. I just got the same feelings of emotional pain, remoteness, and distance that I usually get from releasers and the same blunting that I get from antidepressants like harmine, harmaline, or SAMe. aMT and syrian rue do actually feel a little similar. My sex drive is non-existant. My friend attempted to get me to orgasm earlier in the day, but failed.
The drug has overstayed its welcome and its novelty has worn off for both of us long ago, but at least the addition of tea and food as the peak recedes has improved my outlook tremendously. Unfortunately, my friend is definitely not having an enjoyable time. I have had some very minor difficulty urinating. It's been hard to play video games earlier -- too stoned.
3:40 - My friend and I concur: this drug showcased its best traits at a lower dosage.
5:00 It's beginning to taper off. The ascent was bumpy, but the plateaus was stable despite the booster. I take another magnesium tablet to try to reduce my jaw tension and its headache. My friend has it considerably worse, their jaw locking up at times.
8:15. It's dropping off some more. I thought that maybe I would be down enough to sleep and not just pretend to like I had throughout the day. Once I got up and walked around the house a bit, I realized that I was still pretty altered. I elected to take some etizolam at this time to ensure that I zonked out easily by 9:30, while my friend toughed it out and went to sleep easily around 10.
Next day: I woke easily at 6am. My friend woke easily, as well, but found that as the day went on, they had no energy for anything. I assume this was due to poor sleep quality and a tiring prior day. In the AM, I felt warm, affectionate, mellow, and cuddly. My friend said that they did as well, but as it was their productive time of day, they busied themselves with tasks they'd wanted to accomplish. I felt a little sad and lonely about that. I went about my own day, and after some coffee and lunch, I no longer felt affectionate nor did I long for cuddles.
I found that there were a few times throughout the day that music touched me emotionally. It doesn't often do that anymore. The same happened a couple of times the following day. I found myself feeling content in life, finding it a little hard to motivate because of it, too. A net positive, I suppose.
Conclusion: Could it have been the ondansetron? I knew going into this that I might not have a great experience given my history with 5-HT releasers, but I kind of figured that my friend would be likely to enjoy it. They had one experience with "MDMA" in the distant past that they didn't enjoy, but there's no telling what that was and they were a different person. Despite there being no reason to assume that ondansetron would interfere in any way with the experience, I was a little reluctant to preload with it. I'd only used it once before, and that was a year ago with methallylescaline. Both of us love that material, but that experience was washed out, a complete dud. I figured that the odds of that being a fluke were much higher than the odds of a highly selective 5-HT3 antagonist impacting a drug with an entirely different mechanism of action, and I still feel the same way. Even administering it rectally, I got some strong reminders from my stomach that this was a drug likely to cause considerable nausea, so I don't think it's likely that I would ever seek it out again to take it without nausea medication.
The headspace was astonishingly light. The visuals were quite mild despite the dose. And it was really long, long enough that terminating it with a benzo wasn't even a thought for me. At no point was it unpleasant, difficult, or challenging. The side effects were mild (thanks to the magnesium and ondansetron.) My blood pressure at the peak wasn't elevated. I had no crash the following day and woke feeling rested. No complaints, except that I have no idea what I would use this material for. It mostly just made me feel dumb, languid, and sleepy at this dose. I could see revisiting it at much lower doses for...something? My friend said that they could see taking 10mg if they needed to sand a deck or chop wood all day. I think I would just lay in a hammock all day if I tried that. I'm not sure if I'll revisit this, but if I do it's going to be at a much lower dose.
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