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Bluelight Crew
Thought I should just start off this report by saying that I'm deeeeefinitely not of the opinion that aMT is a dangerous drug or that tripping isn't fantastic - just that psychedelics are a class of drugs one has to be particularly careful with. I actually only discovered aMT quite recently, a bit over 2 months ago I think. The first experience was an incredible one and coincided with my quitting heroin so, thinking you can't get addicted to psychedelics, I transferred my addiction over to aMT a bit. Just psychological ofc, but that was more than enough. Anyway, since I discovered it I'd been using at least once a week (and up to 3 times).
For those of you who aren't familiar, aMT lasts a good 12 hours (lately I've been taking very high doses so it's been more like 24) and leaves you absolutely shattered both physically, mentally and emotionally for a while afterwards. Hence why taking it 3x a week is everything but smart.
Anyway, a (male, this will be important later on) friend of mine was interested in trying aMT having never done drugs before, so we decided I'd be his 'guide' throughout the experience and I'd be there if there was a problem (although I was takign it too of course, and considerably more than him).
I didn't write a report at the time for reasons that will become obvious so this is just from memory, but I think it's pretty accurate.
I took ~100mg around 1:30 am.
T+1: starting to feel the come-up but I'm getting more negative side-effects than usual. Shaking, freezing, strong headache, lots of nausea.
T+2: my friend is having an amazing time. He won't stop giggling, he seems to be getting visuals already, keeps looking at the curtains and laughing. I'm in a good mood but the headache and nausea are so overpowering I have to sort of force myself to have fun because I just feel really sick.
What I think triggered the bad experience is that at this point I told him he might see stuff if he layed back and closed his eyes, which he did, started giggling and said 'I'm seeing a skull'. He seemed to love it but for some reason that really unsettled me.
T+3: my friend went over to the desk to write down the breakthroughs he was having, I was lying back on the bed. I closed my eyes and turned my usual tripping music on and instead of getting the cool colours and swirls I was expecting, I just saw the word 'MURDER' written in bed red letters. That's when I started panicking. My heart was beating out of my chest, I couldn't breathe, I had to open my eyes but everything just felt extremely claustrophobic. It was like the room was closing in on me. There were folds in the sheets and I could see them move and I felt like they were coming to grab me.
T+4: by this time I'd been lying on my back without moving for the past hour. I was shaking violently, my muscles were completely locked and I had this overwhelming feeling that someone was standing behind the door with a knife, about to come in to torture me and kill me. I was also aware that I couldn't show my friend how terrified I was because I wanted to make sure he didn't get sucked into hell with me. He was turning around every once in a while to ask me how I was doing and I think I answered convincingly enough that he didn't suspect anything at this time.
T+5: this was the peak. I was still convinced there was someone behind the door, I could barely move except for uncontrollable shaking, and I was also entirely sure every single man in the world wanted to hurt me. I was looking at the curtains covering the window and thinking men in the street were coming for me and I'd never be safe again.
I thought about calling an ambulance but realised a hospital would be the scariest place in the world right now.
My friend stood up and started walking around. He kept standing in front of this pretty strong light and every time he did, his face would start morphing into the most terrifying thing...I don't know how to describe it. In my mind he was the incarnation of evil. He looked like psychopathic and sadistic and I was sure he was going to attack me. But a little voice in the back of my mind was still telling me this was in my head and I couldn't show him what was wrong so I calmly asked him to move out of the light because it was hurting my eyes. Honestly the most self-control I've ever had
T+6: by now my friend has picked up on the fact that I'm not in a good place. He's starting to spin into a bad trip himself, but more of the emotional empathy kind...ie. he's crying and saying it's never going to end and he's never going to be happy again. I started talking to him and telling him he was in control over the drug, and if he didn't want to go into a bad place he didn't have to etc. All this time I remember looking into his eyes and thinking that they were proof he was evil - because they were completely black (dilated pupils) and it seemed so unnatural and bad.
I also gave him a couple xanax and told him it would get him out of it. Obviously they don't exactly do that, but I figured he might get a bit of a placebo effect. Sure enough, he started feeling better soon after and he got back into a good place.
I took a few xanax myself but they only stopped all the physical stuff. I was still hallucinating way too strongly and feeling completely paranoid.
T+9: the 3 hours here are basically my friend explaining to me all the great thoughts he's come up with so far while I want nothing more than to attack him before he does me.
T+10: starting to calm down. I just feel really really rough and exhausted physically, as always on a comedown, but also quite shocked and shaken. Mostly I'm getting very emotional and depressed but I'm not scared anymore at least.
Continued coming down for the next 5 hours or so. The paranoia and hallucinations continued to a lesser (but still pretty vivid) extent for the next 3 days or so, until I had a proper 15-hour sleep.
Anyway that's it
I made a much more detailed trip report on aMT a couple months ago, this is more a bit of a warning of what can happen if you take way too many psyches way too often without giving your body and brain time to recuperate between sessions. Also if you have some stuff on your mind before taking it...it just isn't a good idea.
I don't think thsi kind of experience is common at all but I think it's maybe better to always be aware of what can happen if you think you're indestructible and can take as many completely mind-bending drugs as you want.
Obviously what happened was a bit specific to me because it related to things from my past etc., but I'm sure some of you can relate in other ways...so yeah. Psychedelics can be absolutely incredible when taken in moderation but it's important to respect them. Thought I should share
For those of you who aren't familiar, aMT lasts a good 12 hours (lately I've been taking very high doses so it's been more like 24) and leaves you absolutely shattered both physically, mentally and emotionally for a while afterwards. Hence why taking it 3x a week is everything but smart.
Anyway, a (male, this will be important later on) friend of mine was interested in trying aMT having never done drugs before, so we decided I'd be his 'guide' throughout the experience and I'd be there if there was a problem (although I was takign it too of course, and considerably more than him).
I didn't write a report at the time for reasons that will become obvious so this is just from memory, but I think it's pretty accurate.
I took ~100mg around 1:30 am.
T+1: starting to feel the come-up but I'm getting more negative side-effects than usual. Shaking, freezing, strong headache, lots of nausea.
T+2: my friend is having an amazing time. He won't stop giggling, he seems to be getting visuals already, keeps looking at the curtains and laughing. I'm in a good mood but the headache and nausea are so overpowering I have to sort of force myself to have fun because I just feel really sick.
What I think triggered the bad experience is that at this point I told him he might see stuff if he layed back and closed his eyes, which he did, started giggling and said 'I'm seeing a skull'. He seemed to love it but for some reason that really unsettled me.
T+3: my friend went over to the desk to write down the breakthroughs he was having, I was lying back on the bed. I closed my eyes and turned my usual tripping music on and instead of getting the cool colours and swirls I was expecting, I just saw the word 'MURDER' written in bed red letters. That's when I started panicking. My heart was beating out of my chest, I couldn't breathe, I had to open my eyes but everything just felt extremely claustrophobic. It was like the room was closing in on me. There were folds in the sheets and I could see them move and I felt like they were coming to grab me.
T+4: by this time I'd been lying on my back without moving for the past hour. I was shaking violently, my muscles were completely locked and I had this overwhelming feeling that someone was standing behind the door with a knife, about to come in to torture me and kill me. I was also aware that I couldn't show my friend how terrified I was because I wanted to make sure he didn't get sucked into hell with me. He was turning around every once in a while to ask me how I was doing and I think I answered convincingly enough that he didn't suspect anything at this time.
T+5: this was the peak. I was still convinced there was someone behind the door, I could barely move except for uncontrollable shaking, and I was also entirely sure every single man in the world wanted to hurt me. I was looking at the curtains covering the window and thinking men in the street were coming for me and I'd never be safe again.
I thought about calling an ambulance but realised a hospital would be the scariest place in the world right now.
My friend stood up and started walking around. He kept standing in front of this pretty strong light and every time he did, his face would start morphing into the most terrifying thing...I don't know how to describe it. In my mind he was the incarnation of evil. He looked like psychopathic and sadistic and I was sure he was going to attack me. But a little voice in the back of my mind was still telling me this was in my head and I couldn't show him what was wrong so I calmly asked him to move out of the light because it was hurting my eyes. Honestly the most self-control I've ever had
T+6: by now my friend has picked up on the fact that I'm not in a good place. He's starting to spin into a bad trip himself, but more of the emotional empathy kind...ie. he's crying and saying it's never going to end and he's never going to be happy again. I started talking to him and telling him he was in control over the drug, and if he didn't want to go into a bad place he didn't have to etc. All this time I remember looking into his eyes and thinking that they were proof he was evil - because they were completely black (dilated pupils) and it seemed so unnatural and bad.
I also gave him a couple xanax and told him it would get him out of it. Obviously they don't exactly do that, but I figured he might get a bit of a placebo effect. Sure enough, he started feeling better soon after and he got back into a good place.
I took a few xanax myself but they only stopped all the physical stuff. I was still hallucinating way too strongly and feeling completely paranoid.
T+9: the 3 hours here are basically my friend explaining to me all the great thoughts he's come up with so far while I want nothing more than to attack him before he does me.
T+10: starting to calm down. I just feel really really rough and exhausted physically, as always on a comedown, but also quite shocked and shaken. Mostly I'm getting very emotional and depressed but I'm not scared anymore at least.
Continued coming down for the next 5 hours or so. The paranoia and hallucinations continued to a lesser (but still pretty vivid) extent for the next 3 days or so, until I had a proper 15-hour sleep.
Anyway that's it
I made a much more detailed trip report on aMT a couple months ago, this is more a bit of a warning of what can happen if you take way too many psyches way too often without giving your body and brain time to recuperate between sessions. Also if you have some stuff on your mind before taking it...it just isn't a good idea.I don't think thsi kind of experience is common at all but I think it's maybe better to always be aware of what can happen if you think you're indestructible and can take as many completely mind-bending drugs as you want.
Obviously what happened was a bit specific to me because it related to things from my past etc., but I'm sure some of you can relate in other ways...so yeah. Psychedelics can be absolutely incredible when taken in moderation but it's important to respect them. Thought I should share
