Maybe it is the setting. Maybe you get anxious or paranoid because you are near people who don't even imagine that you use stims, whatever they are they have similar characteristics like eyes wide open, dilated pupils, jaw clenching, jaw skiing, some manic episode like entering on a loop of doing the same thing or if you have some kind of tick like clearing your throat, your ticks frequency will increase a lot, and the main one they all share is compulsive redosing, you have to have a really strong control, very few do, if any, this control, to have a schedule or have available the amount you want to use, and then that's it when it's over.
More experienced people might either stash their stock somewhere outside their house, and I don't mean your yard, I mean a place that you wont go even if you really really wanted "just one more line" , difficult access like a locker in another neighborhood. They know they won't stop if they have available. Or if they live with a room mate, and obviously the room mate knows about the usage, the room mate can hide the stash, put in in a safe whatever, hide the key.
The best way for me to end a binge session is to plan first how much I want to use, until what time, and you really must have a benzo. 0.5mg of a benzo will be enough to take the edge off and make you fall asleep the whole night, I mean if you are not a benzo addict or regular user it will do nicely. I like Xanax, Clonazepam gives me very vivid horrible nightmares where I can't wake up immediately
Stick with 0.5mg and only take the other half if you don't feel absolutely nothing, it could happen, it rarely happened to me even when doing coke which was obviously cut with strong amphetamines, you lay on your bed and shit, brain at 10000kmh, frying on the bed rolling left and right. It is one of the worst things you have to endure if you don't have a sleeping pill or benzo.
That's why I can't understand people who do it every day, because you can't sleep. You wont sleep even if you are tired like never before, you know you are collapsing, you have no condition of doing anything other than laying on the bed, and the sleep won't come. And if this happens with pure uncut cocaine, when it's laced with all sorts of amphetamines, fuck... I made a rookie mistake last week where I did a binge without having received my Xanax yet... I thought "I will start early, then I will stop at 6pm and I will be able to sleep around 10, 12, I just wanna try it to see if it's really all the hype of uncut pure peruvian fishscale" .... Shit, it was like 15H I think and when I notice it was 1:30 AM and I still went for a line, even not really in the mood anymore, doing for impulse rather need. At least I can think about this is stuff and stop. But as I said, if I had planned, grabbed just what I wanted to use, had it stashed somewhere with difficult access, I would not have used the last 1g that wired me up, because before that I was even feeling sleepy.
Just wanted to use this as an example of how it's hard to control, if not impossible, compulsive redosing with stims. If you know you have more, you will talk yourself very easily in just one more. And look, if this happens to me who takes very long breaks, imagine someone who really has a problem. Even when I binge I want to use everything I have, of course that I would not use all my 20g, even when crazy I am not that crazy lol... If I had waited a couple of days to do it, I wold not have wasted 2 days in bed, sleeping. All would have been fine because I would have the Xanax, half a pill would have saved me 3 days wasted.
1 day was on the bed, after not sleeping the whole night, then could not sleep the whole day until night. Then the next two days wasted in bed sleeping most of the day, and sleeping badly because pf a two rookie mistakes:
1 - wasting extra 1G fpr nothing like a fool, knowing very well that the last G went fast and in 5 lines top. And I did not feel that good rush, only the "bad" rush - just adrenaline and some other chemicals also ending in -ine, which just puts you in the fight or flight mode. That ruined the end of the binge.
2 - more importantly - I was miserable for days because I did not have a single pill of benzo to stop everything and quickly sleep like a baby for at least 6, 7 hours without even waking up to pee.
What I have discovered that what really fucks me up it;s not the drugs, it's the lack of sleep. It does not even matter i I didn't take any drugs and did not sleep for 24h or more , I feel like I went out and rank the whole night,,,
Those are lessons that I have repeated many times over the years and they were always horrible, Less horrible when you are younger sure, on 20s, you heal very fast, but when you reach 40 you start to eel the extended hangover and recover times, it's 4x worst, even more sometimes.
I was at least 5 years without doing coke, I would say 2 years if I counted the time I bought some pills and the dealer told me he had some pure coke, I bought 5g only to discover that it was not even cocaine that crap, perhaps 20 - 30% cocaine, then 40% some amphetamines and the rest some nose clogger filler, I am not talking about nose clog at end of binge after doing a ton of coke, I am talking about clogging after some lines. Anyways, it was just a fucking dirty wired up effect,you know how it is. Pure coke gives such a clean energy. I flushed everything down the toilet, and since then I even gave up to find a dealer because I am not addicted and I knew I could not find good stuff, then I just wait until the opportunity presents itself to buy a large amount of something pure, uncut, and in a safe manner.
Always plan your binge,
