Amphetamine - New Experience - First real high from stims

[Lord]

Note: this thread isn't really abount important info, I just had a few questions and felt like posting. Don't expect research on something important or an amazing trip report. If it weren't for the fact of being about drugs, I'd put it in the lounge.

Hey, For the first time today I'm getting an actual recreational high from stimulants, specifically dextroamphetamine (dexedrine).
I also decided to snort for the first time. I ate 15-20mg and snorted 25-30mg, I weigh 190 pounds. I've felt this stimulated on high-quality weed and almost like this after DXM+pseudoephedrine. I must say it's surprisingly smooth, almost no jitteriness and no split-second hallucinations and feeling like I might snap and fall into psychosis like weed did the last while. I feel very empathetic but insecure about it, trying to restrict myself because I'd go off on tangents and possible embarrassment from feeling way too empathetic. Just wondering if it's normal to feel like my legs are light and almost a little numb? This thread doesn't seem that important compared to the others, but I've got no one with me and felt like discussing and also felt curious about these effects. There's a very nice shift in thoughts. Whereas I've been having very negative thoughts, now they aren't even present and the positive ones are flooding in. My thoughts are moving very quickly but are also scattered, slowed down by the super-speedy flow, like what happens at rush hour, thoughts interrupting each other. It's good to know that the people at bluelight aren't judgemental. Despite seeming useless to others, perhaps something small can be gotten out of this thread by the fact that I'm posting while on the dexedrine, and observable differences in my writing can be noted. Oh, and yes I realize that stims after coming close to weed-induced mental illness is not a good idea, no point mentioning it.

From all the weed abuse, some of my thoughts were very strange and bordering on delusional, and I felt everyone to be extremely judgemental and secretly hating me (which has gotten better since I quit). But with the dex, I don't even care as much about what others think about me, I feel very open, almost like what I'd expect from MDMA. This room looks... small. Everything seems nice and simple, physically small like I can take everything in and therefore nothing seems that complex. But to be honest, I feel confused as well, everything is intuitively, visually, and emotionally simple but to actually think about things... I can't be bothered. Thanks for listening

I catch myself hesitating to talk or type at times, over-analyzing to infinite. I feel as though I can be so open yet my sober self is still there, criticizing the openness and warning "me" of the consequences of being too open and chatting about nothing. However, I also feel that at this dose, the high is almost overpowering the sober side. Whatever, I'll leave it at that. Perhaps some of you can relate to the effects that I'm experiencing, discuss a bit about dexies, whatever. If this wasn't about drugs it would obviously be better suited to the lounge section.

Also, as for snorting, it was very smooth, no pain, but the effects are not impressively strong compared to taking it orally (and also, since I had a bit orally 30 mins before snorting, it clouds the clear difference in state). But it was fun to do it, kind of like enjoying a smoking session of weaker weed rather than taking 2 hits of dank and being done.

I've experienced a mild crash (barely a crash, but noticeable drop in mood from sober state) from 15-30mg orally. I don't look forward to this one. But in my current positive state, the crash seems like an important part of the experience, part of the rollercoaster, worth it in the end. Positive thinking... and of course it would be better without a crash

Maybe it's more suited to trip reports? I'm too confused and hyped to decide properly.

 

[emjay]

I'm prescribed Dexedrine on a daily basis (inattentive ADHD) and that seems normal although for me to it's a much smaller degree. I take more "therapeutic" doses (ie 10mg).

But in addition to ADHD, I've also got pretty bad social anxiety, and of all the drugs I've been prescribed for the purpose of treating the social anxiety, none of them have really worked, except Dexedrine which isn't intendedd for the SA at all. My family, therapist, etc, have all noticed how much peppier and talkative I've been while on the stuff (although I don't tell them I'm on it, it's just noticeable enough to point out.)

I don't think it's from any sort of emotional numbness though. I normally over-analyze everything too, to the point where if I ever do decide to go and say it, it's usually way too late in the conversation and then I'll start worrying and over-analyzing about THAT fact. But it's like the Dexedrine justs lift those inhibitions, not in a stupid alcohol/benzo type way, but I find myself just DOING things too quickly to even start over-analyzing.

And it's a great feeling, because with Dex, I'm finally able to be myself in front of others, and the shocking fact of the matter is... people really have no problem accepting. Nobody really even seems to take notice of my personality or behavioral quirks that I'm terrified will become the center of attention and the cause of embarrassment. In fact, I find people are a whole lot inviting to the new me, perhaps because with Dex I actually have my own personality to speak of, rather than the boring me that's a result of being scared of taking even tiny risks.

Unfortunately stims aren't generally recognized by psychiatry as being a valid treatment for it, but out of the dozen of drugs that have been thrown at me it's the only one to truly work, and I know for a fact that I'm not the only person. But stimulants are typically known for increasing anxiety (which they do, even for me a bit), but that kind of social anxiety (even if it's not bad enough to be deemed a "disorder") you talk about is just a completely different monster altogether and shouldn't be regarded as two sides to the same coin.

Dexedrine IS an especially smooth stimulant and that's why I prefer it over all other options. Everything else typically has more norepinephrine activation which can contribute to (for me, anyways), a very uncomfortable body load. Dex, on the other hand, is almost entirely cerebral. In the 40-50mg dose range though, I don't think I could personally handle it.

Great to hear you've found a drug that you don't just get high from but improves numerous aspects of your quality of life. Perhaps it's indicative of something underlying.

 

[Lord]

... post ...

I'm actually starting to crash a bit and am way past the peak, so you'll have to excuse me (it's like feeling a bit clouded but still being stimulated, weird feeling for a newbie of pure stims).

Thanks very much for the reply. I'm still feeling the buzz, which is very nice, as I was beginning to suspect that the stimulant buzz was either very mild or overly jittery and paranoid, and overall barely enjoyable, wondering why people got addicted, without much range in between for a euphoric yet relaxing time. My legs feel as though they're folding in or "shifting" in (rotating?) toward my body a bit and the buzz has slight similarities to the weed buzz in the sense of feeling "paradoxical." What I mean by this is feeling like the buzz is moving you in two opposite ways or even impossible ways at the same time. It's subtle by now, but it felt as though my body was being built up and assembled from the feet up, while my organs (especially my heart and brain) were ascending., I guess a bit like being "up in the clouds" from stims. In other words high 8) The current stage is a bit frustrating because you have so much to describe but you know that if you tried, you'd end up in a loop, typing about nothing, clouded from proper thinking.

I lost track of this post because I was distracted a few times, among other things, but now that I've come down quite a bit, it may be good to stop here. I don't feel as much of a drive to type. Well, thanks for listening

 

[Bob Loblaw]

I sent this to TR and edited the title to fit their guidelines.

 

[drugonoth]

lol good for you, personally stimulants such as dextroamphetamine leave me feeling amazing, but the crash is so awful for me, but its all part of the ride like you said

 

[ColinGibs]

yea lets burn out all of our dopamine receptors when were still youths so we can never form our own minds and constantly let society and our experiences think for us, because we'll never be able to tell what actually makes us feel good before it may be too late. Because we can't pay attention. It's all in you. You don't need speed to make you want to do things or concentrate. You just need to do things in your own way, stop trying and DO. Do what feels right for you without thinking as much.

Stop trying to see who you are and be who you are. DON'T FALL INTO THE STIM TRAP FOR ADHD. We're evolving and you are less of a slave than the rest, so don't give in and be one. Time will sort it out. And when you get through youth if you still have your mind intact you will be utter genious. Don't fly to meds as a crutch. Sell them to your friends and make 300 bucks a month, and buy some weed and don't be afraid to let your mind travel and make it's own connections.

Especially when your brain is still growing. Not a time to blast your brain with speed and rationalize it by a disorder that doesn't actually exist..

And OP, people get addicted because it seems almost benign and because it's pharma too, it just seems like it's OK to do. It takes a few times but then you'll notice that when you try to stop you will REALLY want to take more and not really anything will make you feel good. Your mood goes all over the place, and you're basically in the opposite balance of mindstate from the clarity experienced while on it. Most people don't have their dopamine receptors touched by many drugs by the time they get put on addies and it just sets a chain reaction that will never really end. Plus, when perscribed for the incentive of working better in school, it locks the growing mind into only being able to feel good from one, something given to them from the outside world, and two, that you will have your interests altered to whatever you are told they're supposed to be, kind of like Emjay.

With repeated use the brain will burn out the old receptors and create new ones as it grows, and by that point you are so under control that you get formed into exactly what we all picture that person to be.

So so soo wrong..