Renz Envy
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2010
- Messages
- 3,337
Amphetamine and GHB- A carnival (Very Experienced)
My smile. My laughter. The room was spinning like I was too drunk to function. A crisp ecstasy euphoria relaxed my muscles. Every movement felt so good. Talking to people, I had nothing interesting to say, but it needed to be said. I would fall to the floor of the apartment. I would thrash and moan. I loved everyone. It was a feeling beyond ecstasy. It felt so wrong to abuse, but so right.
What am I doing to my brain? I would second guess myself; a good sign I was sobering up. I became melodramatic. Sometimes I would cry over past losses, girlfriends or jobs.
I began to feel dry as I started to heat up.
The sun was rising and my high was fading. I felt the anxiousness. My hands began to tingle.
My hand shook uncontrollably as I raised the bottle of GHB. A little clear oily liquid sloshed at the bottom, but it was not enough to last past the half life of amphetamine. Fuck. FUCK.
The sun was rising- I was 30 minutes away from a dealer- my eyes were full of worry.
"Are you okay?" I heard a voice ask.
"Yeah, I'm just having a panic attack, it happens."
Survival instincts push you to do one thing: escape.
In this case I was not running from a lion or a roaring fire. I was trying to escape from a drug in my body. My heart began to race.
I gave in and tilted my head back. I felt the intense flavor of salt fall to the back of my throat. I felt relief.
Fifteen minutes and the world was spinning in laughter like an insane carnival of sexual intentions. Unlike amphetamine, GHB enhanced my humanity.
I cared about food, sex, life, most of all I cared for people.
I felt like a playful child again.
I grabbed a girl friend of mine, we wrestled. Tactile sensations made me giggle. I did not try to have sex with her. Although I would if she had tried to have sex with me.
On GHB & Amp, the little things don't matter. The bonds I make are stronger. The love I make lasts longer. Best of all, everyone is beautiful.
Soon I would return home. The sun was too bright. It bore through the window of my car. It heated my shirt and made me uncomfortable.
The carnival was over. My stomach churned and my eyes felt heavy. Sleep would be impossible. My entire benzo script could not put me down.
At home I made a blank stare in the mirror for several minutes. My irises were non existent, replaced by a black void. It was as if black eyes were the sign of a devil in my soul. Happiness would be impossible. I was in no pain or suffering. I was in no euphoria or pleasure.
In the end
It was all just
neutral.
[For the doseages, GHB is typically dosed high in comparison to amp for best results. For a private setting I would easily be closing in on 2.5g of GHB. For m-amp I would run around 20mg and for d-amphetamine around 40mg. M-amp goes better and will give a beyond ecstasy experience, however I do not touch that drug any longer and stick to my prescription. My best caution is given when combining stimulants and depressants. Although GHB reduces the stress caused by amp, there is still the risk of an overdose. (Take in mind GHB's very short half life)]
My smile. My laughter. The room was spinning like I was too drunk to function. A crisp ecstasy euphoria relaxed my muscles. Every movement felt so good. Talking to people, I had nothing interesting to say, but it needed to be said. I would fall to the floor of the apartment. I would thrash and moan. I loved everyone. It was a feeling beyond ecstasy. It felt so wrong to abuse, but so right.
What am I doing to my brain? I would second guess myself; a good sign I was sobering up. I became melodramatic. Sometimes I would cry over past losses, girlfriends or jobs.
I began to feel dry as I started to heat up.
The sun was rising and my high was fading. I felt the anxiousness. My hands began to tingle.
My hand shook uncontrollably as I raised the bottle of GHB. A little clear oily liquid sloshed at the bottom, but it was not enough to last past the half life of amphetamine. Fuck. FUCK.
The sun was rising- I was 30 minutes away from a dealer- my eyes were full of worry.
"Are you okay?" I heard a voice ask.
"Yeah, I'm just having a panic attack, it happens."
Survival instincts push you to do one thing: escape.
In this case I was not running from a lion or a roaring fire. I was trying to escape from a drug in my body. My heart began to race.
I gave in and tilted my head back. I felt the intense flavor of salt fall to the back of my throat. I felt relief.
Fifteen minutes and the world was spinning in laughter like an insane carnival of sexual intentions. Unlike amphetamine, GHB enhanced my humanity.
I cared about food, sex, life, most of all I cared for people.
I felt like a playful child again.
I grabbed a girl friend of mine, we wrestled. Tactile sensations made me giggle. I did not try to have sex with her. Although I would if she had tried to have sex with me.
On GHB & Amp, the little things don't matter. The bonds I make are stronger. The love I make lasts longer. Best of all, everyone is beautiful.
Soon I would return home. The sun was too bright. It bore through the window of my car. It heated my shirt and made me uncomfortable.
The carnival was over. My stomach churned and my eyes felt heavy. Sleep would be impossible. My entire benzo script could not put me down.
At home I made a blank stare in the mirror for several minutes. My irises were non existent, replaced by a black void. It was as if black eyes were the sign of a devil in my soul. Happiness would be impossible. I was in no pain or suffering. I was in no euphoria or pleasure.
In the end
It was all just
neutral.
[For the doseages, GHB is typically dosed high in comparison to amp for best results. For a private setting I would easily be closing in on 2.5g of GHB. For m-amp I would run around 20mg and for d-amphetamine around 40mg. M-amp goes better and will give a beyond ecstasy experience, however I do not touch that drug any longer and stick to my prescription. My best caution is given when combining stimulants and depressants. Although GHB reduces the stress caused by amp, there is still the risk of an overdose. (Take in mind GHB's very short half life)]
Last edited: