Could anyone tell me about a relationship they have been in where they thought they were meant to eachother, wanted to get married but you each had problems that ended the relationship later. How did it end? what were the problems? how were yall afterwards? how do you deal with it? I just feel like im the only one in the world that is feeling this pain
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Am i the only one who has felt this
- Thread starter Robbie240
- Start date
pokepoke420
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2012
- Messages
- 415
Drugs. I was with a girl for 7 years and we shared drugs together. I got sober almost 2 years ago, and she didn't. I felt like if she got sober with me, it could have been something we shared and got through. She did a lot of shady shit like cheating, fucking dudes for money for drugs, and even stealing from me. How do I deal with it? I just keep moving forward because there is no sense in losing my life for her decisions. I did everything I could for her, but in the end the best thing I could do for both of us was to cut her off. It hurts me every single day and sometimes I forget my purpose because that was my true love, but life goes on. I want the best for her and maybe one day we can be together again if she decides sobriety is the right path, but yeah, that's my story compacted into a paragraph.
neurotic
Bluelighter
what? i would think this is pretty common among people
Who hasn't had a relationship like that? When your in the honeymoon phase of a relationship you your not in the right frame of mind cuz your emotions are running high and sometimes you just can't see the wrong in people and can make stupid snap decisions like moving
in together, getting married or having kids.
then as time goes on you realise that the person you thought was so perfect turns out not to be and you can end up stuck in a toxic relationship. You got to try and think with your head not your heart but it's easier said than done when you're in Looooveeee!
in together, getting married or having kids.
then as time goes on you realise that the person you thought was so perfect turns out not to be and you can end up stuck in a toxic relationship. You got to try and think with your head not your heart but it's easier said than done when you're in Looooveeee!
The worst person and most toxic relationship I have ever been in, at one point felt like nothing could be more right. I told her that our souls have existed over several lifetimes, looking for each other, and the searching was finally finished. I told her that us finding each other was willed by the universe.
I couldn't have been more wrong. The relationship ended when I found out that she had been lying to me about a lot of things. Lies so large that she could not face them and abandoned me instead of answering for them. The word 'abandon' strongly implies that I never heard from her again. Even before we broke up, the toxicity of the relationship was eating away at me like a cancer. Destroying parts of my persona that I valued greatly.
I didn't deal with it very well. Nearly six month had passed, and I wasn't getting any better. You're not alone with your pain. This place was the coldest, darkest, loneliest place I have ever experienced. It was worse than hell; it was total nothingness. I am sorry this has happened to you. The best advice I have for you is when the inevitable hand comes to pull you out of the quicksand, you take whatever strength you have left, and grab it.
I couldn't have been more wrong. The relationship ended when I found out that she had been lying to me about a lot of things. Lies so large that she could not face them and abandoned me instead of answering for them. The word 'abandon' strongly implies that I never heard from her again. Even before we broke up, the toxicity of the relationship was eating away at me like a cancer. Destroying parts of my persona that I valued greatly.
I didn't deal with it very well. Nearly six month had passed, and I wasn't getting any better. You're not alone with your pain. This place was the coldest, darkest, loneliest place I have ever experienced. It was worse than hell; it was total nothingness. I am sorry this has happened to you. The best advice I have for you is when the inevitable hand comes to pull you out of the quicksand, you take whatever strength you have left, and grab it.
You're not the only one who goes through this. Very common. If the relationship is toxic, leave. Go meet other people, move on as best you can. I spent years depressed over a "lost love", I did finally meet someone else which was magical, it did lead to love, marriage, kids, stable future, long-term thinking. Its just over 5 years and we both love each other very much. Not to say there are challenges that are normal.
Talking, respect and honesty are most important with staying in a relationship.
Talking, respect and honesty are most important with staying in a relationship.
dopemaster
Bluelight Crew
Naw that sounds like alot of relationships.
I have thought about marrying several women and they were on the same page. Stuff changed. I changed, she changed, thing changed.
Sometimes it was just drugs. Sometimes it was me. Sometimes it was her. Sometimes it was both of us.
Usually we stayed friends. Sometimes we had sex again. Sometimes we never spoke again.
It hurts sometimes and sometimes it doesn't. You learn from each relationship and grow as a person. Honestly I am glad I did not marry any of the women I dated.
I would have married one woman but she got frustrated at me when I slowed down on the classes I was taking because of an injury and she was just so eager for me to get a job and support her. I kind of felt like she was a selfish bitch when things did not fit her lil plan and timeline and that she wanted to be a well taken care of housewife, so yeah I am probably glad that it ended then because there is a good chance I could be married and miserable right now. It is strange but if I had just finished that last year of school she would have married me. It took a small thing for her to show me a completely different side of her.
So what I am saying is things usually work out the way they should. I think there is someone for everyone. There are different degrees of compatability. I do not know if I believe in true love. I know it is possible to love someone and have them love you but honestly the best way to find someone like that is to just live your life without looking for someone. When you are doing what makes you happy, you will find someone who will enrich your life. You do not want to have your happiness based on someone else.
So as cliche as it is, you got to learn to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. So just live your life, learn to love yourself, make yourself happy, have fun in the meantime, and you will find someone who you will truly love.
I have thought about marrying several women and they were on the same page. Stuff changed. I changed, she changed, thing changed.
Sometimes it was just drugs. Sometimes it was me. Sometimes it was her. Sometimes it was both of us.
Usually we stayed friends. Sometimes we had sex again. Sometimes we never spoke again.
It hurts sometimes and sometimes it doesn't. You learn from each relationship and grow as a person. Honestly I am glad I did not marry any of the women I dated.
I would have married one woman but she got frustrated at me when I slowed down on the classes I was taking because of an injury and she was just so eager for me to get a job and support her. I kind of felt like she was a selfish bitch when things did not fit her lil plan and timeline and that she wanted to be a well taken care of housewife, so yeah I am probably glad that it ended then because there is a good chance I could be married and miserable right now. It is strange but if I had just finished that last year of school she would have married me. It took a small thing for her to show me a completely different side of her.
So what I am saying is things usually work out the way they should. I think there is someone for everyone. There are different degrees of compatability. I do not know if I believe in true love. I know it is possible to love someone and have them love you but honestly the best way to find someone like that is to just live your life without looking for someone. When you are doing what makes you happy, you will find someone who will enrich your life. You do not want to have your happiness based on someone else.
So as cliche as it is, you got to learn to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. So just live your life, learn to love yourself, make yourself happy, have fun in the meantime, and you will find someone who you will truly love.
well said and very true, its always how it works for me, somebody always pops up who i really click with when i'm least expecting it and when i'm not even looking for it. of all the women i dated or fucked i'd say only about 3 of them i really fell in love with and the pain i been through from each breakup has always made me come back a better and stronger person. each relationship(the long term monogumous ones) i had were completely different from the others and i learnt a lot from the mistakes i made so never have any regrets. i don't think i'm cut out for long term relationships, i just get bored too quick and sometimes miss being single. maybe when i'm older i'll change but for now, nah!
dopemaster
Bluelight Crew
Something casual can turn into something more down the road, even years later.
That is why it is good to stay friends with your ex.
I have even met women through my ex gf's even though they probably did not like me dating their friend, well fuck it, who cares?
That is why it is good to stay friends with your ex.
I have even met women through my ex gf's even though they probably did not like me dating their friend, well fuck it, who cares?
Right on, Deano88. There are only a few out of dozens or hundreds of women you'll meet that are keepers (This is the same for women too). And each break up is a lesson for the next time.
I got married at 40, she was 25... and we still go out clubbing, concerts, kinky sex and more.
I got married at 40, she was 25... and we still go out clubbing, concerts, kinky sex and more.