pbuilder
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2011
- Messages
- 2,118
Okay so pretty much, I first did coke about 6 months ago, a small enough of an amount that I didn't even really feel the effects, and thought nothing about it the next day/week/month. Unfortunately some of my friends do it pretty much every time they go to the club and other times as well, so about 3 months ago I did a couple of decent sized lines for the first time and really felt it, and I did that a couple of nights in a row and was hooked. But after that I didn't do it for about another month and then did it again, and again, and I love it sadly. I've done it about a dozen times since I first tried it 6 months ago.
Now, a person who is a friend of my old brother is the one who gives it to all his friends and what not. However, he refuses to give it to me. He says he doesn't want to be responsible for me doing it. But now I'm frustrated, I've gotten it a few times before saying I was getting it for friends but tonight he ended up standing me up when I asked him to get it for me, which was for a "friend". Although I can assume that he just knew it was for me. This isn't the first time he's done this either (stood me up)
Now the reason I like getting it from him is because I can get just small amounts, like a half gram or under. Which I like because I can do that half gram and have it last for both friday and saturday and be done with it. I like this because it allows me to be under moderation... to hopefully not get to hooked... or at least to much tolerance... For me a 1/4 gram is more than enough for a night and will have me good all night with small (25-40mg) lines.
However, it's just getting annoying that he won't just get it for ME. I'm at the point where I don't want to go through hassles to get it, and want a reliable person to get it for me. But the thing is, although I know other people who can get it for me... They wouldn't bother getting it for me unless it was at least a gram. The problem here is if I have a gram, I will end up doing it... And not just on the nights I get it, but I will start using during Sundays or whenever else... Because I already know I can't resist finishing off my half gram bag on a Sunday, whatever is left usually like .1 or .2 grams, it is impossible to hold sadly... temptation just gets me.
That's why I like buying in small amounts, so I don't have any left over and don't overly indulge... But like I said, this person who won't get it for me is the only one who would be willing to just get me small amounts because I'm a "friend" sorta.
But like I said, it's gotten to the point that I'm just sick of the bullshit, I can make my own decisions, I'm over 18 and I don't wanna deal with getting handled like a child buy this person, making him completely unreliable to get it from.
Am I the one over-reacting about the fact that he just shouldn't judge and just get it for me when I want it, without making a whole big deal about it? Because I'm about to start just getting from someone else in larger amounts, just to not have to deal with these hassles...
Oh I forgot to mention, this person ("friend") giving me the hassles is quite the blow-head himself, easily 2 gram a day habit... A bit hypocritical I'd say... Since I just use it recreation-ally on some weekends.
Oh and on top of that, the first time I ever did it was BEFORE he ever did it, and now he is a complete addict while I still haven't done more than like 3 grams total in my life...
Now, a person who is a friend of my old brother is the one who gives it to all his friends and what not. However, he refuses to give it to me. He says he doesn't want to be responsible for me doing it. But now I'm frustrated, I've gotten it a few times before saying I was getting it for friends but tonight he ended up standing me up when I asked him to get it for me, which was for a "friend". Although I can assume that he just knew it was for me. This isn't the first time he's done this either (stood me up)
Now the reason I like getting it from him is because I can get just small amounts, like a half gram or under. Which I like because I can do that half gram and have it last for both friday and saturday and be done with it. I like this because it allows me to be under moderation... to hopefully not get to hooked... or at least to much tolerance... For me a 1/4 gram is more than enough for a night and will have me good all night with small (25-40mg) lines.
However, it's just getting annoying that he won't just get it for ME. I'm at the point where I don't want to go through hassles to get it, and want a reliable person to get it for me. But the thing is, although I know other people who can get it for me... They wouldn't bother getting it for me unless it was at least a gram. The problem here is if I have a gram, I will end up doing it... And not just on the nights I get it, but I will start using during Sundays or whenever else... Because I already know I can't resist finishing off my half gram bag on a Sunday, whatever is left usually like .1 or .2 grams, it is impossible to hold sadly... temptation just gets me.
That's why I like buying in small amounts, so I don't have any left over and don't overly indulge... But like I said, this person who won't get it for me is the only one who would be willing to just get me small amounts because I'm a "friend" sorta.
But like I said, it's gotten to the point that I'm just sick of the bullshit, I can make my own decisions, I'm over 18 and I don't wanna deal with getting handled like a child buy this person, making him completely unreliable to get it from.
Am I the one over-reacting about the fact that he just shouldn't judge and just get it for me when I want it, without making a whole big deal about it? Because I'm about to start just getting from someone else in larger amounts, just to not have to deal with these hassles...
Oh I forgot to mention, this person ("friend") giving me the hassles is quite the blow-head himself, easily 2 gram a day habit... A bit hypocritical I'd say... Since I just use it recreation-ally on some weekends.
Oh and on top of that, the first time I ever did it was BEFORE he ever did it, and now he is a complete addict while I still haven't done more than like 3 grams total in my life...
