• 💊 OTHER DRUGS 💊 Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads 1 Notable Threads 2
    Dangerous Combos Addiction Support
    Emergency Services Benzo Guide v.1
    Addiction Stories Scary Case Studies
    Biology, Pharmacology & Drugs 101
  • Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

Misc Am I slowly killing myself?

duckbin

duckbin

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 19, 2012
Messages
41
Location
NYC
I'll make this short and sweet; I hope this isn't against the rules because I really like this site and don't want to be banned, I checked and didn't find anything pertaining to my question.

My question is whether or not this is severely dangerous to my health and my liver.

I used to be a heroin addict. I'm on bupe maintenance, I snort 2mg 3 times a day, take 1mg of xanax or clonazepam right after, slam 3 beers, take a dab, do a line of some delicious blow, and go have a cigarette. I do this process 3 times a day.

Recently I've been adding more shit.... like an hour before any of this I'll take 750mg calcium carbonate and 600mg cimetidine for potentiation, snort my bupe, take the clon/xan, take 40mg IR adderral, slam 3 beers, take a dab, and then mix in some really clear walter white quality skante into my line of blow, and run outside for a cigarette. 6 months ago all I did was do bupe and dab and I was FINE. I have 5g's of 5-meo-dalt but I'm not really into it, solely bought it because it was banned by the UK MODA 1971 approx 9 days ago.

Am I an absolute idiot or am I not doing THAT much of either substance to cause significant harm. I had a blood test for my liver as requested by my bupe doctor, and they said my liver is the cleanest they've seen for anyone who's on opioids.

I pretty much already know the answer, I'm a retard I know. I have a problem. Is the bupe with the benzos and alcohol at the same time, in those amounts, that detrimental to my liver? I have to stop doing everything besides bupe, thc, and alcohol 2 weeks before my monthly visit so I know I don't test positive, so I guess that forces me to have some self control. They don't care about THC btw, they don't even test for it.

If I'm breaking a rule posting this, I'm really sorry, I read everything I swear :( I'm also a law student at a top 10 uni, ironic right.
 
Yes you are, especially with 9 beers and 3 lines a day. Slow down on the alcohol and blow and you'll live a lot longer.
 
No offense, but why? Do you ever fear overdose by mixing depressants such as alcohol/benzos? Why add the bupe?

From a psychology standpoint, seems you enjoy walking on the edge. Issue is, you'll trip and fall at some point. Your liver may be great now, but that can change in the future, why risk it?

I'm not judging you, so don't think I am. I'm not clean, I do opanas daily, or methadone only for a break. However, I refuse to drink alcohol, I hate benzos, am paranoid about drug combos. I'm afraid of ruining my body.
 
Slow down on the blow? I thought that was the last thing I should worry about as it affects my central nervous system I believe and not my liver but I'm not an expert; not saying that's not a big deal.

And I do the bupe because I'm opiate dependent and I'd be doing it anyway. So 3 beers with 2mg of bupe and 1mg of xanax is rather harmful to my liver then, correct?

Why do I do this you ask? Good question, I wish I knew; I'm addicted to being high, and I've been cocktailing hardcore recently. Let's say I do the 2mg bupe, do .5mg of xana or kpin, and then have 2 beers, once or twice a day... plus the dab and the blow with the cigarette. In a week I'm going to put down the benzos and the blow for 2 weeks until I take my urinalysis.

I really appreciate you guys not just flat out telling me I'm an idiot but actually offering advice, this is why this is the best substance related forum/forum in general in existence.

With the 40 hours of hardcore studying I do, not that it's an excuse, but I'm mentally broken, I hermit in my room doing this shit and taking dabs off of my prized $9,000 glass collection. I really want to go back to just dabbing and doing bupe like not too long ago, and maybe having 2 beers in the evening.

EDIT: And I don't fear of mixing depressants, I know my tolerance, I don't get high from the bupe, and 1mg of xanax with 3 beers gets me buzzed. I can't stand legitimately being blasted off my ass. I'm the type of drug user that likes a nice, decent buzz, but have it consistent. I don't even know anymore. I literally became a "pussy" alcoholic in the past 7-8 months. I drink those 3 beers in under 2 minutes because half of the enjoyment for me is slamming a beer in a nice glass without swallowing once, and it hits me all at once... but then literally when I have to piss, I have to start pissing again after I'm done pissing because I drank so much in such a short time frame, I have it all down to a science, I piss when I go have my cigarette outside right after my bump.

How do I change my attitude? My perspective on life? I genuinely don't want to stop, at most slow down a decent bit. I don't even know how you guys are supposed to answer that, I guess I just had to tell someone and listen to what they have to say. When I tell my doctor what I'm doing he just looks at me and asks me what I'm REALLY doing because there's no way someone does that, when I tell him the doses he understands it better but is still in disbelief because I really don't look like someone who even smokes pot.
 
Last edited:
Bupe has such a long half-life that it does not make sense to snort it 3 times a day. Regarding all the other drugs in my opinion this is pretty hard compulsive addiction behavior.
Easy to say but I would:

1. Only take the Bupe once a day. Maybe then at a higher dose than 2mg.
2. Cut out the alcohol and uppers completely because with more uppers you feel like you need more downers to even them out and alcohol just fucks the fine Bupe buzz and is generally very bad in combination with a lot of substances
3. Take the Benzos before your Bupe if you are dependent on them. If not leave them out too

Bupe+Weed would be sufficent to get a nice high going.
Another good advice would be to start doing exercise to get endorphines and a natural tiredness.

Take care!
 
duckbin said:
I'll make this short and sweet; I hope this isn't against the rules because I really like this site and don't want to be banned, I checked and didn't find anything pertaining to my question.

My question is whether or not this is severely dangerous to my health and my liver.

I used to be a heroin addict. I'm on bupe maintenance, I snort 2mg 3 times a day, take 1mg of xanax or clonazepam right after, slam 3 beers, take a dab, do a line of some delicious blow, and go have a cigarette. I do this process 3 times a day.

Recently I've been adding more shit.... like an hour before any of this I'll take 750mg calcium carbonate and 600mg cimetidine for potentiation, snort my bupe, take the clon/xan, take 40mg IR adderral, slam 3 beers, take a dab, and then mix in some really clear walter white quality skante into my line of blow, and run outside for a cigarette. 6 months ago all I did was do bupe and dab and I was FINE. I have 5g's of 5-meo-dalt but I'm not really into it, solely bought it because it was banned by the UK MODA 1971 approx 9 days ago.

Am I an absolute idiot or am I not doing THAT much of either substance to cause significant harm. I had a blood test for my liver as requested by my bupe doctor, and they said my liver is the cleanest they've seen for anyone who's on opioids.

I pretty much already know the answer, I'm a retard I know. I have a problem. Is the bupe with the benzos and alcohol at the same time, in those amounts, that detrimental to my liver? I have to stop doing everything besides bupe, thc, and alcohol 2 weeks before my monthly visit so I know I don't test positive, so I guess that forces me to have some self control. They don't care about THC btw, they don't even test for it.

If I'm breaking a rule posting this, I'm really sorry, I read everything I swear :( I'm also a law student at a top 10 uni, ironic right.
Click to expand...


AHHH i fucking hate you... im trying to get on suboxone (i know your talking about subutex) and cant cause theres like five doctors for 250k people and they can only have 50 clients each... and they all drug test, for thc too, as does my PO since im on federal bond and cant do any of the other fun stuff you get to enjoy.... FML and you.... oooooo top ten uni too, i hope you die you lucky fucker, which you prob will if you keep doing the shit your doing as often as your doing it....
 
First, cut out the booze. Then all the uppers. Take your bupe for maintenance, and try to taper down from the benzos. You are lucky enough that you have a potential career and life ahead of you. Dont become the bum under the bridge that tells passersby that he used to be at a top ten law school, and was almost a lawyer. Because that IS what will happen if you continue down this path.
 
It's been said in this thread but i'll say it once more for emphasis. Stop the drinking and stop the cocaine. Cocaine is bad for your health for a number of reasons i won't get into right now, alcohol is also pretty bad for your health as you probably know. Sticking to pharm grade opiates and benzos would be your best shot at living relatively healthy while not being entirely sober.
 
Where Im from dabs are butane hash oil.
To the OP, if the bupe doesnt give you a buzz why snort? It'll work better and last longer if you take it how youre supposed to. Also, how can you study 40 hours a week if youre so blasted you literally cant stand up? Stop the cocaine for sure and stop the alcohol or at least cut down on the beer so youre not drinking everyday. Stick with the bupe and do dabs if you want to get high
 
The cocaine and alcohol are what's worse for your liver and for you in general. The bupe-benzo-alcohol combo is not much more dangerous to the liver than the alcohol alone, it also seems like you have a tolerance to sedatives if you take that combo 3 times a day. It's not good for you, you could become physically addicted to those 3 at the same time if you aren't already but you probably won't die from it if you are consistent with the dosage.
A daily cocaine habit, combined with a meth and adderal habit on top of all that plus the 9 beers a day and cigarettes well... I think you are taking it too far, you could definitely do some serious harm to your body
 
Dude, that's an insane combo.......I know why you're mixing all that, you obviously love the high you receive mixing all that stuff.

Thing is, your tolerance will keep going up until you're drinking a case of beer, snorting a gram, etc........

IMO, there's no need to mix alcohol & benzos together with the rest. I would stop the benzos & blow.

Slow down on the alcohol......benzos isn't a habit you want that has its hooks into you.

Like others have stated, we're not judging you, but rather giving you some advice since you're asking.
 
duckbin said:
My question is whether or not this is severely dangerous to my health and my liver.
Click to expand...

There are other ways of slowly killing yourself, other than through direction action at your liver. I've got no doubt that you're causing both physical and mental damage, and that will work in some kind of weird feedback loop. It sounds to me like you already know the answer.

duckbin said:
How do I change my attitude? My perspective on life? I genuinely don't want to stop, at most slow down a decent bit. I don't even know how you guys are supposed to answer that, I guess I just had to tell someone and listen to what they have to say.
Click to expand...

The only thing I can think of is a powerful psychedelic experience. Ayahuasca? Ibogaine?

I've been listening to some of Amber Lyon's Reset.Me podcasts and it seems to be a prominent theme with psychological conditions; whether that be anxiety, depression, PTSD, addiction, etc, is that they tend to have their foundations in trauma experienced throughout a lifetime. Maybe you need to address some of these issues?

Psychedelics are the only worthwhile cure to addiction and the issues which cause addiction that I'm aware of.

That's the route that I'd personally take.
 
Tranced said:
There are other ways of slowly killing yourself, other than through direction action at your liver. I've got no doubt that you're causing both physical and mental damage, and that will work in some kind of weird feedback loop. It sounds to me like you already know the answer.



The only thing I can think of is a powerful psychedelic experience. Ayahuasca? Ibogaine?

I've been listening to some of Amber Lyon's Reset.Me podcasts and it seems to be a prominent theme with psychological conditions; whether that be anxiety, depression, PTSD, addiction, etc, is that they tend to have their foundations in trauma experienced throughout a lifetime. Maybe you need to address some of these issues?

Psychedelics are the only worthwhile cure to addiction and the issues which cause addiction that I'm aware of.

That's the route that I'd personally take.
Click to expand...

While psychedelics may help with issues regarding addiction, if the underlying problem is psychological in nature wouldn't psychotherapy be more effective at treating that?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top