Am I lying to myself? Success on my own?

[Stimfreak2234]

So I quit doing meth for good October 4th 2021. I did it all by myself and my friend who’s also sober keeps telling me I can’t do it by myself and I will break down and use. Can it be done on your own? Anyone with long term sobriety or knows someone with it, who did it on their own? I’m just extremely socially anxious so being around people is a no for me

 

[cdin]

So I quit doing meth for good October 4th 2021. I did it all by myself and my friend who’s also sober keeps telling me I can’t do it by myself and I will break down and use. Can it be done on your own? Anyone with long term sobriety or knows someone with it, who did it on their own? I’m just extremely socially anxious so being around people is a no for me

Imo recovery is as individual as humans are. I took myself off ethanol , benzos and am almost done w opioids all on my own, wouldn’t have it any other way. I like to have autonomy in my life decisions. I also know my limits , and when I need help but imo anyone telling you recovery has to be one way is more projecting their own need for that framework in their own life than what might actually work for you. I support you! You can get off of your own volition.

 

[xtcgrrrl]

I, too, got sober from the more dangerous drugs I was using all by myself. This isn't to discount the value of things like AA or therapy or support groups; I'm just relating my own experience. I decided I wanted to live, and my behavior was not conducive to a long and healthy life. I can't explain it any other way

 

[Snafu in the Void]

Everyone has their own path to sobriety. When I was younger I went through A LOT of rehabs because it was impossible for me to get sober by myself, although a major factor in that was I didn't truly want to be sober at the time.

As I got older I was able to control my use a lot more, and can easily get sober, but STAYING sober for longer than a week remains a problem for me.

Ultimately, I can't really do it by myself. I need that support network and accountability. There may be a day when I can do it alone, but after 20 years of addiction I'm not there yet, and I may never be.

But I personally know other people who have done it by themself and have never been to rehab or AA. Everyone is different. It takes a hell of a lot of confidence, will and determination, though.

 

[Stimfreak2234]

Everyone has their own path to sobriety. When I was younger I went through A LOT of rehabs because it was impossible for me to get sober by myself, although a major factor in that was I didn't truly want to be sober at the time.

As I got older I was able to control my use a lot more, and can easily get sober, but STAYING sober for longer than a week remains a problem for me.

Ultimately, I can't really do it by myself. I need that support network and accountability. There may be a day when I can do it alone, but after 20 years of addiction I'm not there yet, and I may never be.

But I personally know other people who have done it by themself and have never been to rehab or AA. Everyone is different. It takes a hell of a lot of confidence, will and determination, though.

I hope you find the recovery your looking for. I started smoking weed again but have been sober from meth since starting smoking weed back in around June. I don’t see myself ever picking up again since I’m scared shitless of the reprocussions and I’ve had enough.

 

[Stimfreak2234]

I, too, got sober from the more dangerous drugs I was using all by myself. This isn't to discount the value of things like AA or therapy or support groups; I'm just relating my own experience. I decided I wanted to live, and my behavior was not conducive to a long and healthy life. I can't explain it any other way

That last part is so relatable for me. I just had enough of the life I was living.

 

[Stimfreak2234]

getting rid of the substance/addiction is fucking awesome man and you should be really proud of yourself for that. but you gotta remember that addictions occur because of underlying issues. trauma, that kinda thing. you say youve got social anxiety. do you see a therapist for your anxiety? if not maybe that would be a really good idea and would drastically reduce your risk of relapsing in the future. you used meth cos your anxious. your still anxious. gotta figure out healthy ways to deal with the anxiety. know what im sayin?

Yeah I started going to AA to stay sober but I’m thinking of quitting cuz the anxiety is worse then meth withdrawal to me almost lol. But everyone there seems cool. I already see a therapist and he’s helping a bit I feel like

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

So I quit doing meth for good October 4th 2021. I did it all by myself and my friend who’s also sober keeps telling me I can’t do it by myself and I will break down and use. Can it be done on your own? Anyone with long term sobriety or knows someone with it, who did it on their own? I’m just extremely socially anxious so being around people is a no for me

You may be surprised to hear that statistically speaking, the vast majority of anyone who ever got over an addiction problem did it on their own. You're not an outlier, you're in fact the norm.
And since you've quit over a year ago, you just answered your own question.

The issue about future use is how badly you still WANT to use. If you're constantly missing using and feel like you're depriving yourself every single day, the probability is high that you will use again. If on the other hand in your own mind you're quite done with it and don't feel like you need this to be part of your life anymore, there really isn't any reason why you'd use again. The question isn't 'can I do this on my own', the question is 'am I ready to do it'. Do you see benefits to your abstinence as compared to using? Are you enjoying your life since you've stopped and find things are the better for it? If yes, you'll very likely stay stopped.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

if you are socially anxious I guess it is easier to do on your own.
Last time I got out to see people, I drank two days.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

In my experience isolation is always less likely to make you succeed. You need people around to help you be strong when you can’t do it for yourself (and those times will come). It’s just logical really, a support network is always going to make anything that involves the mind/mental health/spirituality (whatever you want to call it) easier imo.

Have you started trying to fix the things that made you use? Usually pretty hard to do that alone, I certainly need perspective and opinion from other people.

If your anxiety is such that you don’t want to even be around other people then that must be very distressing and I would imagine it might be a primary factor in the reasoning behind why you used in an addictive pattern? Just something to consider.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

Have you started trying to fix the things that made you use? Usually pretty hard to do that alone, I certainly need perspective and opinion from other people.

anyway, this is also true

 

[Inthebetween]

So I quit doing meth for good October 4th 2021. I did it all by myself and my friend who’s also sober keeps telling me I can’t do it by myself and I will break down and use. Can it be done on your own? Anyone with long term sobriety or knows someone with it, who did it on their own? I’m just extremely socially anxious so being around people is a no for me

It can absolutely be done and I'm proud of you!

 

[Stimfreak2234]

You may be surprised to hear that statistically speaking, the vast majority of anyone who ever got over an addiction problem did it on their own. You're not an outlier, you're in fact the norm.
And since you've quit over a year ago, you just answered your own question.

The issue about future use is how badly you still WANT to use. If you're constantly missing using and feel like you're depriving yourself every single day, the probability is high that you will use again. If on the other hand in your own mind you're quite done with it and don't feel like you need this to be part of your life anymore, there really isn't any reason why you'd use again. The question isn't 'can I do this on my own', the question is 'am I ready to do it'. Do you see benefits to your abstinence as compared to using? Are you enjoying your life since you've stopped and find things are the better for it? If yes, you'll very likely stay stopped.

is this really true that addiction is most often beat on your own? It makes sense atleast to me but I’m not a people person generally anyways. I thought studies contradict that tho. I feel like people including me have been sold this whole idea you need to work a 12 step program to ever have a shot at sobriety and that’s just not true

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

i think it depends on whether your talking about quitting abusing a substance in which case YES its definitely more frequent that people can do this on their own or if your talking about recovering from true addiction cos like i think i said earlier addiction is a psychological thing. like even if you quit one substance that is awesome but it is often that people will then not treat the underlying issues that lead them to abusing that drug in the first place and will switch to another drug or addictive behaviour like gambling or sex or porn and so the addiction is not cured. know what i mean? so in that way i personally think that to have real success people should get professional help to recover from their addictions

but thats my opinion

Link to where you have got the idea that more people manage to quit abusing substances on their own than with outside help please. I'm calling bullshit on that. Prepared to accept I'm wrong and explore the evidence but really can't imagine that you are going to be able to provide it.

The rest of what you say in that post I agree with. The way you have worded your post makes it sound like you're disagreeing with yourself which is a little confusing to say the least but I think I understand the distinction you are trying to draw (don't agree with it though if I am understanding correctly).

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

I think it makes sense, just requires some defining of addiction (behavioral disorder for me).
Theoretical; A has social anxiety, all friends use alcohol, alcohol is everywhere, withdrawals are horrible.
---->A keeps off of triggers and doesn't want anyone around while being trembling, sweating, puking withdrawer.
After a while A is dry alcoholist (there is no distinct point when this has happened and comes down to just terminology).
They has quit, but ain't healthy.
Being healthy in some reasonable sense requires some amount of social interaction commonly.

 

[Eligiu]

Yep I agree sounds like someone who shouldn't be giving advice on this topic

Actually, the statistics are pretty clear that the spontaneous remission of addiction is far higher than what groups like NA and AA may make you think. In some cases, spontaneous remission is the rule rather than the exception. People just have an event, something happens, the negatives outweigh the positives (one overdose too many, they don't want to risk it anymore), they have a kid, get married - whatever reason, most people who start using spontaneously stop using. I even fall into that category with most of my substance use.

I just used all drugs but one one day, didn't really like it, and never used them again.

Here's some resources.

Remission from drug abuse over a 25-year period: patterns of remission and treatment use.

OBJECTIVES: Using an epidemiologically obtained sample, we examined patterns of illicit drug use, abuse, and remission over a 25-year period and recent treatment use. METHODS: The surviving members of the cohort (n = 841), previously surveyed in 1972 ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Spontaneous Remission from Addiction: Definitions and Implications for Treatment

www.handshakemediainc.com

Spontaneous remission from alcohol, tobacco, and other drug abuse: seeking quantitative answers to qualitative questions - PubMed

A quantitative review of the substance abuse literature revealed a mean general prevalence of spontaneous remission from alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs abuse of 26.2% when a broad definition of remission was employed and 18.2% when a narrow definition was implemented. From the results of this...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

The numbers aren't as low as one would think.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Actually, the statistics are pretty clear that the spontaneous remission of addiction is far higher than what groups like NA and AA may make you think. In some cases, spontaneous remission is the rule rather than the exception. People just have an event, something happens, the negatives outweigh the positives (one overdose too many, they don't want to risk it anymore), they have a kid, get married - whatever reason, most people who start using spontaneously stop using. I even fall into that category with most of my substance use.

I just used all drugs but one one day, didn't really like it, and never used them again.

Here's some resources.

Remission from drug abuse over a 25-year period: patterns of remission and treatment use.

OBJECTIVES: Using an epidemiologically obtained sample, we examined patterns of illicit drug use, abuse, and remission over a 25-year period and recent treatment use. METHODS: The surviving members of the cohort (n = 841), previously surveyed in 1972 ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Spontaneous Remission from Addiction: Definitions and Implications for Treatment

www.handshakemediainc.com

Spontaneous remission from alcohol, tobacco, and other drug abuse: seeking quantitative answers to qualitative questions - PubMed

A quantitative review of the substance abuse literature revealed a mean general prevalence of spontaneous remission from alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs abuse of 26.2% when a broad definition of remission was employed and 18.2% when a narrow definition was implemented. From the results of this...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

The numbers aren't as low as one would think.

Who said anything about na/aa?

The question was can you do it on your own, not can you do it without a 12 step program.

 

[Eligiu]

Who said anything about na/aa?

The question was can you do it on your own, not can you do it without a 12 step program.

I said 12 step programs because they are the ones who normally state that people cannot recover alone. I've been in the fellowship (and left it for good reason).

I provided you with information about rates of spontaneous remission showing that the range varies widely of an agreed percentage, sometimes being as high as 60% of those who are addicted, and also shared my own anecdotal experience.

I'm simply providing the evidence which shows that the statement the poster made that spontaneous remission is not only possible, but common, is true.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

I think most people know that relapse is common but that’s useful I guess.

12 step programs do indeed say that, they don’t say you can’t recover without them though. There’s a difference between alone and without a 12 step program.

Me personally I find it counterproductive to encourage people to think that they either try to deal with things themselves or they go to a 12 step program (intentionally or otherwise). For me that is conflating the issues when someone asks if they are better off alone. There are a great many things that people can do outside of a 12 step program to stop themselves being alone that will lead to a better chance of recovery.

I just wanted to make it clear that alone is not the same thing as without a 12 step program, and not wanting to do 12 step does not mean that you need to try to deal with their issues alone.

 

[TheAntiCuck]

Your success completely relies on what "you" want. If you haven't progressed to a point where you are honest with yourself about what you want, why you want if and then ultimately what you are going to do next. I know in my experience, it is much easier to gaslight and manipulate others when I an fully deluded, believe my one lies while placing my conscience in a tidy box where I could only be concerned for my own interests and needs And avoid and negative feelings while I bulldoze the only people that love me and will tolerate me. If you think it's about will power, it is not. It is about having the agency and desire for more than chasing selfish desires and hedonism. Changing yourself not for the sake of change, or for others, but living a different life. A life not in conflict with ourselves, what is good for ourselves and others. Being who we are and striving for growth toward our goal, who we WANT TO BE.