To answer a few quick questions; Her mother is borderline, and also has intense control issues. Ie Bought her daughter a phone, without any reason, then demanded 350 for the phone. A pos phone too, I found the same one for 50 bucks on amazon. But thats type of mental control is VERY common in her life from her mother. Thrown out of home at age 14 by mom, and from 12-14 was emotionally abused by her step dad and mom. She lived in five different homes before moving back in with mom at 18.
Last two girlfriends I had loved doggy, infact it was the second easiest way to make both of them squirt(Like a water gun
So much fun if you get a girl whos a squirter) I mean, im not perfect, but I dont think im doing it wrong.And as jabbles said, fuck her gently. But honestly I think she has came like a total of ten times in our relationship. and that really makes me not wanna fuck, when I was used to 3x a day for 3 years. I like making the girl cum, multipal times. Its fun, and satisfying.
And yes, I am afraid of breaking up with her. Its one of my weaknesses. I fear loss immensly. But I love to be the knight in shining aromur, saving the day in my monte carlo with its knights crest. Also who ever said get angry, and yell etc, i cant do that. I have two metal screws in my wrist from putting my hand through a windsheild, and then a metal door(didnt get through that one lol). When I get angry I destroy everything. I pulled a knife on my best friends brother and held it to his throat, ive commit arson on property of the people who have robbed me in the past, destroyed alot of friendships. This was all in a four year period, and all stemmed from me being unable to control my anger rationally. Ive seen a therapist for four years, as well as im highly interested in psychology, and have found cbt has allowed me to maintain control and think rationally.
I also wanna say, im not some badass tough guy whos an asshole all the time and breaks stuff and gets in peoples faces. Im a wimp, skinny. I dont speak much, the only thing ill brag about is doing good in a game of blops 2. I wouldnt say its hard for me to make friends, because I have no problem getting girls/guys, or having people hit me up to chill, its just that I rather not associate with 99 percent of the population that makes my brain bleed.
I have had two real friends in my life, and one of them is an ex. So never lots of friends, never felt like Ihad to prove myself to anyone, cause I love who i am, so when I say I have yet to get actually angry at this girl, I really havent. I also dont lie/cheat/steal from her. I see no point in such things.
Its just my anger issues become so immense if I allow them to, I lose complete control. There are peroid of time where I dont remember what I did, besides seeing the aftermath of it.
Oh also have/had a cutting addiction. Cut for four years, stopped right when I decided it was time to try and take control of my own mind, and be rational. Even though humans are irational beings; I attept to keep my mind about me.
These are the reasons I dont get angry anymore. I just try and keep a smile and talk myself through each altercation I have to not blow up, weather its customers at my job cursing me out, my manager telling me hes going to knock my teeth out, and just the inbetweens, I just smile. It keeps me sane, and rational.
And one last thing, I told her not to sleep at my house on the week nights anymore, and she seemed to agree...Lets see how that goes, started last night.
