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Am I addicted to ice?

W

Water17

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 13, 2013
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4
Am I addicted to ice?
Hello,

I've tried researching and so on but I can't find any answers. I am a regular user of ice. I don't know if I'm addicted. I'm thinking I want to go to rehab, but don't want to look like an idiot!

I'm using around a gram a week or so, so nothing extreme. I go to sleep thinking of how I'm going to get on tomorrow or who I can hang out with that will shout me and so on. I wake up thinking about it. I think about it too much really.

I last up to 1 day or to 2 1/2 days and After that I need to sleep, so use vallium to help. Once I wake it's go time.

Last night I was so depressed because I couldn't get anything and ended up having a teary.

I've lost all of my real friends and are now hanging out with heavy users. I can see their life and don't want to end up that way.

I started smoking ice when I was 18. Mainly weekends. I would generally start on a Thursday night, go straight to work Friday from being out an then do it all again, until Sunday when I'd sleep and frequently called in sick Monday because I was too tired. I ended up loosing my Job which is fair. Also lost my car because I wasn't making my loan payments. Not long after I had a huge weekend that sent me loopy for about a week. I was hearing and seeing things and knew everyone was out to get me. That scared the shit out of me and I didn't touch it for about 4 months. In those 4 months I drank every day because it gave me something to do and I didn't have a job so I could do what I wanted. I started smoking ice again, mainly weekends. Then started during the week here and there. It wasn't something I constantly thought about, but was more than happy as soon as somebody mentioned it to get on. I then moved in to a share house with a guy that smoked daily and with it being in my face flat out it was hard to say no. I can't say no when it comes to that. I know I make my own decisions and nobody is to blame but myself. It's rare I ever have to pay for it which makes it even harder.

I've moved back home now, which doesn't change much just means I have to listen to my mum constantly whinge. She is a bit over the top. She hides her purse and will buy me cigarettes, not give me money to do it myself. If she asks me to pick up takeaway she will give me the exact money for it. That's because one night she was sleeping and I took $50 but I left her a note.

I am thinking rehab might be a good idea and that way I will get my friends back and my mums trust. I don't want to do it and look like an idiot because most people there will be extremely worse off than me.

Please help!
 
G'day mate,

From what you have told us it sounds like you do have an addiction. The good news is that you have addressed it and want to do something about it.

Winning back the trust of friends and family is a great thing that sobriety has to it. That sustained feeling of proper love is very fulfilling and it's great to see you want to get that back.


If you really want to quit, I recommend trying to smoke less. Of course it can be incredibly hard to immediately do this if you have been smoking daily, but every time you smoke less, that's a great thing and you should congratulate yourself on that. Becoming sober isn't an easy thing to do so if you do feel you absolutely HAVE to smoke, just try and have a few burns and not go on a Thursday-Sunday bender.


Unless you're in a dire situation that you haven't listed here, see what you can do with a bit of self-discipline and determination instead of rehab. Of course the concept of rehab is good, but if you don't believe you truly need it, just see what you can do aye?


All the best mate welcome to BL.
 
Yes, go to rehab and get whatever help you can. You're in a bad situation right now so the sooner you can break the pattern and stop using ice (I assume crystal meth) the better for you and the easier it'll be.
It won't be easy but it sounds like you see what path you're on and want to change it.

Best of luck
 
It sounds like you want to quit but can't do it alone. Perfect criterion for rehab imo.

~~> RS
 
Hey water, welcome to Bluelight=D Congratulations on starting to face up to this.. its often a real hard thing to accept.

I think there is a very good chance. allot of people get physical dependence and addiction confused. They often go hand and hand with some drugs. Physical dependene is when you have to use a substance at all times to feal normal. Addiction is when we are driven to use a substance we no loger want to use, and it does not have anything to do with continuse use or frquency of use.

Here is a good thread for you to check out Addiction Guide

Have you considered trying the free self help groups before you throw down for the rehab?

SMART Recovery (Support Group information and discussion)
Twelve-Step Addiction Recovery Support Groups
Varied Approaches to Addiction Recovery

Im not trying to discourage you from rehab, I just thought I would suggest you possibly try doing this by looking into these free options before jumping into a rehab. Rehabs dont automatically make people better. They try and teach you tools you can use to recover, but it still comes down to people putting the work in. So you might want to try one of these approaches. I dont know where you are located but in some countries, in many rehabs a main focus is introducing people to NA. If you are in one of these countries then I would suggest you try introducing your self to the program.

There is allot of suport and wisdom around Bluelight and i hope you can find many things to help you figure this out!!=D
 
Kamal7777 said:
Has anyone been detox for brown use please give some advice thank you
Click to expand...

Have you consider trying to detox yourself first. many detoxs use limited medications, many only use clonodine. If this is the case I would suggest you attempt it first as you will have access to better medication and it will be much cheaper.

medications for acute opiate detox

The medications I would explore the use of for detox would be:
>Clonidine< DOSED EVER FOUR HOURS..

one of either
>NEURONTIN< >HERE< >HERE<
OR >Lyrica<
OR >phenibut<

>A BENZO BUT JUST AT NIGHT<
>a nsaid<
>melatonin<
tylenol

(Opi Withdrawal) what is the best comfort meds for opiate w/d?

Your Personal Opiate Withdrawal Arsenal

You can do this.. but as this is someone elses thread I would encourage you to please start your own thread. A good place to consider is The Dark Side or Sober living. If you do it in either of those places then I can transfer these post to it for you.

Welcome to Bluelight:D
 
Hey Water. NSA has given a great response here already, I just wanted to chime in with my two cents as well - basically, what I often tell people who ask "am I addicted to x?" Is that generally, if you aren't addicted to something then you aren't going to be questioning whether you are or not. If it wasn't a problem, you would't even be thinking about this. Also, from a purely academic standpoint from what you've told us it looks like you fit the DSM IV criteria for chemical dependency diagnosis.

The fact of the matter is that you came asking this question because things in your life aren't that great and drugs seem to be the driving factor behind everything that is negative in your life, from what you've told us. You certainly didn't wake up and realize how amazing your life was before asking about this, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Regardless of whether or not you're chemically dependent on speed, it's basically guaranteed that if you stop using your life will start to get better.
 
Thank you all for your insight. I've been to a couple of NA meetings before, but as a support person not for myself. I might give that ago for myself this time at least until I get court out of the way which is in a few weeks.

I don't have a lot if will power which is why I'm considering rehab.

I need to start attracting straight people in my life. I'm constantly attracting people that use. It's as if I go out seeking these people. As I've said before I know I make my own decisions. I think I chase these people because they accept it and it's a whole lot easier to hang with them upposed to a bunch of straightys.

Thanks so much :)
 
^^ It's strange really, even before I started using drugs I gravitated towards the same type of people - basically all the the friends I had in high school that came naturally ended up being druggies too. Then of course once I was using my entire world consisted of other people somehow involved in drugs.
 
I have been where you are now, I would STRONGLY suggest looking into a local rehab facility or group therapy. I went through a period of such heavy use I was only around heavy users, I saw how they lived how badly they had destroyed their lives. In my opinion the only thing that saved me from being a homeless junkie was realizing that this isn't what I want out of life. There's more to life than just smoking meth, after almost a year of being amp free I still have urges to partake and have to leave wherever I am quickly so I don't succumb to my addiction. If you're thinking of using almost all the time then you have a ADDICTION, and you should seek some kind of help.
 
Water17 said:
Thank you all for your insight. I've been to a couple of NA meetings before, but as a support person not for myself. I might give that ago for myself this time at least until I get court out of the way which is in a few weeks.

I don't have a lot if will power which is why I'm considering rehab.

I need to start attracting straight people in my life. I'm constantly attracting people that use. It's as if I go out seeking these people. As I've said before I know I make my own decisions. I think I chase these people because they accept it and it's a whole lot easier to hang with them upposed to a bunch of straightys.

Thanks so much :)
Click to expand...

I am very skeptical of any rehab center but have had measurable success with voluntarily attending 12-step groups, mostly AA but some NA. Plus these are free. If you have the cash to shell out for a rehab center, go for it. If not, hit some 12-step groups, find a couple of sponsors, work the program, and pretend there is a god until you get a handle on your situation. Making a 12-step program work is really pretty simple, but a characteristic of drunks and junkies is that we like to overthink things, think in circles, and think our way back into another binge. We're good at that. But a 12-step program can help keep you clean while you get some perspective on the issue. And it's a lot cheaper than rehab.
 
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