n.i.b.1123
Greenlighter
There's a super slim TL;DR at the bottom if ya wanna cut to the chase haha
I literally misspelled my own city in the topic headline wtf. Anywhow, hey there! My name is Brad, I'm 18, male, born and raised in the gorgeous state of Colorado (but I'm living in Hawaii currently lol). I've used Bluelight and a few other similar sites quite frequently throughout my forays into the world of drugs, and it's honestly probably saved me from some stupid shit a time or two lol. I really support the mission of the site, and the community is generally pretty great, which has led me to actually join, so as to contribute my bit of knowledge, experience, and two cents here and there, as well as to deeper engage in the communal goal of creating an environment where drug use is not demonized and condemned, but rather, an environment wherein those interested in substances, as well as those trying new things, can get the information they need from experienced peers, as well as become informed equally of the positive and negative implications of drug use.
Bit about myself: Well I'm young, and even though I might not have seen as many years as others, I've lived a pretty rough life, battled some pretty shitty battles both internally and with the world around me. I've seen, done, and experienced a whole lot of bad shit, but I've also seen, done, and experienced a whole lot of good shit. I just wanna contribute to the greater human experience, make the things I know, known to everyone else, and help out as best I can, all the while learning as much as possible (cause damn I love to learn haha). I've dabbled in pretty much everything inside the box, and a whole lot of crazy shit outside the box.
I've never been addicted to a specific substance, but after finding myself sober for the first time in over a year, and faced with the reality that I had made drugs and alcohol the staple of my teenage years, I realized I was addicted to substance abuse as a whole. I've had to battle extremely severe depression, anxiety, and a host of other mental issues my whole life, and because of my past and certain qualities of my life, I have historically found myself without a healthy outlet or form of venting, which eventually led to what can be boiled down to a fear of sobriety and the sucky things that come along with it: shitty Thoughts, negative feelings, pain, etc. I made substance abuse my way of dealing with life, which created a vicious circle that I was unable to see or break out of. I was no longer a recreational or experimental user, but had become entirely dependant on drugs and alcohol to get me through each day, help me avoid my responsibilities, and make me forget all of my problems. I hadn't realized, however, that it as the very substance abuse I had made the solution that became the problem it was supposed to be solving. So, long story short (well, long story medium lol), I was slapped with a choice to either cool my jets and get my shit together while it was still possible, or end up falling down a hole that didn't have a way out. I chose to avoid becoming a completely insane street zombie, thankfully.
But, departing from that nasty bit of unpleasant shit, nowadays I've straightened out a bit more, got my shit together, and am working towards a much more sober life. Just like everything else in life, there is a delicate balance; drugs can fuck your shit up right here in front of your face, or drugs can open your eyes to a ridiculously beautiful world that surpasses any description (I'm looking at you, Lucy lol). There is equal capacity to be positive ans negative in all things, and as such, one must seek and maintain balance between the joy of positivity and the lessons of negativity. For that reason, I maintain that drugs and alcohol are at once beautiful and nightmarish, capable of great and terrible things at once. With my life all patched up and in a better place than it's really ever been, sobriety isn't the terrible thing I was trying to hide from before, even when times get shitty. I've always loved my life by these words: Out of turmoil, comes a poem. And so, even though I seriously shit the bed with handling drugs and alcohol like a normal person, the lessons I've learned and the knowledge gained from the experience is the ink with with I write the poem of my life made anew, free of the shackles of addiction and abuse.
So anyway, I love to talk, as it has been painfully illustrated here. Im my defense, I am moderately spun as I write this, so I mean usually I'm not QUITE this excessive lol. Well, y'all can message me about anything and everything; I'd love to engage with you about absolutely whatever you'd like! I can talk about pretty much whatever pretty much endlessly, so if you need a diary to splash all your thoughts onto, a friend to be there for you, or whatever else, you can always come to me
Thanks for being so awesome, and I'm extremely excited and happy to have become a member of this wonderful community!
See ya on the forums!
TL;DR: Name's Brad, 18, M, fucked up life but all good now, I like drugs, but I'm trying to like them less, and you should drop a message in my inbox of you wanna talk
I literally misspelled my own city in the topic headline wtf. Anywhow, hey there! My name is Brad, I'm 18, male, born and raised in the gorgeous state of Colorado (but I'm living in Hawaii currently lol). I've used Bluelight and a few other similar sites quite frequently throughout my forays into the world of drugs, and it's honestly probably saved me from some stupid shit a time or two lol. I really support the mission of the site, and the community is generally pretty great, which has led me to actually join, so as to contribute my bit of knowledge, experience, and two cents here and there, as well as to deeper engage in the communal goal of creating an environment where drug use is not demonized and condemned, but rather, an environment wherein those interested in substances, as well as those trying new things, can get the information they need from experienced peers, as well as become informed equally of the positive and negative implications of drug use.
Bit about myself: Well I'm young, and even though I might not have seen as many years as others, I've lived a pretty rough life, battled some pretty shitty battles both internally and with the world around me. I've seen, done, and experienced a whole lot of bad shit, but I've also seen, done, and experienced a whole lot of good shit. I just wanna contribute to the greater human experience, make the things I know, known to everyone else, and help out as best I can, all the while learning as much as possible (cause damn I love to learn haha). I've dabbled in pretty much everything inside the box, and a whole lot of crazy shit outside the box.
I've never been addicted to a specific substance, but after finding myself sober for the first time in over a year, and faced with the reality that I had made drugs and alcohol the staple of my teenage years, I realized I was addicted to substance abuse as a whole. I've had to battle extremely severe depression, anxiety, and a host of other mental issues my whole life, and because of my past and certain qualities of my life, I have historically found myself without a healthy outlet or form of venting, which eventually led to what can be boiled down to a fear of sobriety and the sucky things that come along with it: shitty Thoughts, negative feelings, pain, etc. I made substance abuse my way of dealing with life, which created a vicious circle that I was unable to see or break out of. I was no longer a recreational or experimental user, but had become entirely dependant on drugs and alcohol to get me through each day, help me avoid my responsibilities, and make me forget all of my problems. I hadn't realized, however, that it as the very substance abuse I had made the solution that became the problem it was supposed to be solving. So, long story short (well, long story medium lol), I was slapped with a choice to either cool my jets and get my shit together while it was still possible, or end up falling down a hole that didn't have a way out. I chose to avoid becoming a completely insane street zombie, thankfully.
But, departing from that nasty bit of unpleasant shit, nowadays I've straightened out a bit more, got my shit together, and am working towards a much more sober life. Just like everything else in life, there is a delicate balance; drugs can fuck your shit up right here in front of your face, or drugs can open your eyes to a ridiculously beautiful world that surpasses any description (I'm looking at you, Lucy lol). There is equal capacity to be positive ans negative in all things, and as such, one must seek and maintain balance between the joy of positivity and the lessons of negativity. For that reason, I maintain that drugs and alcohol are at once beautiful and nightmarish, capable of great and terrible things at once. With my life all patched up and in a better place than it's really ever been, sobriety isn't the terrible thing I was trying to hide from before, even when times get shitty. I've always loved my life by these words: Out of turmoil, comes a poem. And so, even though I seriously shit the bed with handling drugs and alcohol like a normal person, the lessons I've learned and the knowledge gained from the experience is the ink with with I write the poem of my life made anew, free of the shackles of addiction and abuse.
So anyway, I love to talk, as it has been painfully illustrated here. Im my defense, I am moderately spun as I write this, so I mean usually I'm not QUITE this excessive lol. Well, y'all can message me about anything and everything; I'd love to engage with you about absolutely whatever you'd like! I can talk about pretty much whatever pretty much endlessly, so if you need a diary to splash all your thoughts onto, a friend to be there for you, or whatever else, you can always come to me
Thanks for being so awesome, and I'm extremely excited and happy to have become a member of this wonderful community!See ya on the forums!
TL;DR: Name's Brad, 18, M, fucked up life but all good now, I like drugs, but I'm trying to like them less, and you should drop a message in my inbox of you wanna talk
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